Venting Thread

[Gnarwhal]

Alright Ive talked about this a few times and its making me angry/frustrated/sad to no end so I'm going to go ahead and post it.

I meet a really nice girl and really liked her. Prior to her I had never been on a date or kissed. We talked for about a month and half and went on 2 dates. Everything was going really well and I was pretty confident it was headed towards a relationships. But she started acting a little dodgey, couldn't ever meet up and didn't have time to talk on the phone (which less than 5 days before on the date she told me to call anytime and that she would always talk to me if I call ). Finally I straight up called her out on it and what was going on, we had a really honest talk. I said I liked her, she said she liked me (and even went on to explain WHY). But that she was going through a bunch of stuff right now, and was stuck in a hard place. And she ask me to stand by her while all of it was happening (she wouldn't tell me what IT was). Anyway, I told her I would, but that I wasn't staying in limbo forever, and I had no interest in just being her friend. I took her at her word, that was about a week ago.

Last weekend she went on a date with another guy.

Obviously, I'm angry, because she probably lied to me and DEFIANTLY lead me on by acting like it was headed towards a relationship.

Ive been leaving her on her own and giving her space since our last text conversation. Honestly, I'll probably text her at some point durring this week asking if she ever got "everything figured out" which she will probably reply that she hasn't. At that point, I'm calling her out on the crap, telling her I'm not going to stick around like I said, because I'm not just going to be some guy she put on the backburner and is constantly leading on while going out with other guys. Its not happening and I'm done.

The only reason I want to send that, is so I can have some kind of closure, because honestly, I'm still hurting pretty bad right now, because I thought this was headed to a relationship, it was my first experience romantically with a girl, and I really need to get rid of uncertainty, and I would rather us leave on bad terms than constantly be wondering if I misread something.

I'm stuck at home over the break and no one is in town from college so I have nothing to do but sit at home and stew over this. Which is NOT helping at all.

I understand how you feel, I personally don't date one person at a time and so if I hit it off with someone who does it creates an inner conflict inside me and an overwhelming sense of insecurity because I know that I'm not dating anyone else but it's likely that she is.

The thing is, unless a mutual commitment has been verbally communicated, she's not obligated to date you exclusively. Now if you guys had agreed to date exclusively and then she goes off with some other dude, that's a big problem and I'd drop her like a hot potato.

All that being said, sometimes women just don't do closure. Sometimes guys don't either. Over Thanksgiving break I went out with a girl two nights in a row, we really hit it off and enjoyed hanging out. We skipped a day but then the following Monday night we hung out again, then for some reason communication slowly ground to a halt and now it's been maybe two weeks since I've heard from her. I wrote her off about 10 days ago though because at some point I have to harvest my dignity and say "nah, I like you but I don't dance that way so off you go."

I know it's easier said than done in your case because this is your first experience with romance and there's probably that aching suspicion that it'll be your last, but trust me - your luck only gets better from here. I'm 28 and still single, and that's actually becoming less a problem for me because I'm happy with who I am regardless of if there's a woman in my life or not.

I know this post probably doesn't cut to the heart of the problem, but it may be a few things to think about.

Lastly, I would just sort of piggy-back on what others have said. I wouldn't go on the offensive with this girl. Like I said, I know you want closure, but there's always going to be a chance that closure isn't available (and I mean that in all sorts of places, people, experiences, etc in life). You may lose a job and not have closure with that, a family member may pass away unexpectedly and you lack closure in some sense with that, or a relationship fails before it even gets off the ground and... no closure. It's one of those realities of life we have to wrestle with, but I think for your sake I would take the high road and not send any kind of aggressive, condemning or accusatory text messages.

I've done that exact thing before when I was much younger and 100% of the time it blows right up in your face. It's practically a guarantee.

Just a few things to think about.

 

[mojoboy31]

I'm with Darth Bagel. Don't send bitter texts.

 

[SnowyMacie]

Has become the thread to just vent about anything?

 

[Cearbhall]

Moving to another continent for five months is extremely frustrating.

 

[mojoboy31]

Has become the thread to just vent about anything?

So it appears.

 

[sunshineforJesus]

I'm not feeling well.I have a cold and my throat is bugging me.

 

[vanillaicecream]

Go on. Vent.

 

[exitstageright]

So lately I've noticed a lot of people talking about not so great things going on in their lives, kind of splashed all over the forum, and also a few complaining threads so I just thought, hey why not put it in one big thread? Here's where you can vent about life, people, pets (you know the ones..they walk right in front of you and make you trip? ), anything that YOU think is worthy to vent over. Don't stop yourself from venting just cause you think it's not worthy, believe me, it probably is. lol Nothing is too big or too small.

Who's first? If no one goes first, y'all can make me go first. lol

That is a great idea!! I would rather someone take out their anger with a pen.It is better for one to shoot off their mouth,than to shoot off their.....gun.

 

[anewman1993]

Alright I'll post again since its been a few weeks/months/whatever.

My health is still horrible, its been over a month (around 5 weeks) since Ive left my house for anything other than a doctors appointment, and there were 3 of those, so Its been a WHILE since Ive been anywhere. Due to weather and Ice I missed my appointment out of town with a new specialist, so on top of the 3 months I had to wait to get in I ALSO have to wait another month or more. I'm extremely lonely and frustrated. I'm trying to follow god, he called me to the ministry, cool, sure, I'll do it, but oh wait, I CAN'T LEAVE MY HOUSE. So I'm doing classes online, a HORRIBLE way to pursue ministry. I have like 2 friends, but fact is if I was to vanish off the earth RIGHT NOW in the middle of writing this, no one outside the 3 people I live with would have ANY idea I was gone for at least a month or 2. I'm holding close to god but feel like I'm still falling apart, slowly, but falling part. Ive never been good socially but when my brother had some friends over the other day I was stumbling through basic small talk and stuff and I just felt awkward because I'm so out of practice with it. Stumbled through it, by the end of the day (some of them were over hear for a long time) I was able to hold a conversation, but it was hard and anything but natural for me.

Then the other night when I was praying, of course I pray about healing AND finding a wife a lot, at least one a day if not for much much much longer. Because these are 2 needs I have, healing so I can function (currently 22 years old living completely dependent on my parents since I can't work) and companionship in my life (both in the romantic and platonic sense, I have NO ONE in my life right now I talk to on any sort of regural basis outside my faimly and people I play video games with that I don't know in real life). Anyway, when I was praying, I prayed about a LOT of stuff, not just those, in fact I spent much more time on other stuff, but when praying about finding a woman, I got very specific with god, in the sense of like "please right now start moving us on the path towards each other", funny thing is, I walked away from that prayer feeling like god said "Ok, its in motion". Not about healing, not about getting closer to him, not about the other things I prayed about (though I feel like he is answering some of those but have no way to know if he is) but THAT one, that thing Ive been praying for over a yearish. I mean, you gotta understand, for me to find someone, is like, on par with raising the dead at this point, I haven't left my house but 3 times in a month, not at all in close to 3 weeks. I'm constantly sick, and frankly would wonder about the sanity of anyone who WANTED to date me. But every time I pray about the subject now it feels redundant.

So now I'm in this weird place, where I WANT to believe its god giving me peace because he heard me and is answering it, but at the same time of course I want it to be true, but I can't KNOW, but Ive never felt like this after praying for something before. There is a ton of doubt, and ultimately its not like I can DO anything about it, I can't hardly leave my house (Though I may try to go to church tonight who knows, I'll probably get halfway there and have to turn around cause I feel sick, but I may try, I need to meet some people).

There is a lot of uncertainty in my life, a lot of pain, both physically, emotionally, and spiritually. Ive been under a lot of attack, especially at night. Makes since, I'm trying to follow god and go into his ministry, makes sense I would get attack, but its still hardly fun, Haven't slept good in a while, so I'm tired all the time, I may be getting a touch of depression just from being stuck inside all the time. I feel like in some senses I'm on the rock that is christ, and I FEEL like I'm built on that rock, but others I feel like I'm falling apart, I'm not living, I'm not even sure I'm surviving. I'll be honest, I don't know how I'm alive with what Ive been through, starvation, pain, loneliness. Its a mess

 

[sk8brdkd]

Here's my venting. I tend to take after my dad and overthink and worry about stupid stuff. I am not sure how to stop it. I hate that about myself but, am not sure what to do about it either. I tend to overthink the littlest things, things that i shouldn't even be thinking about yet they bother me. I've only noticed this in the past few months. I was never like this before.

I remember making fun of my dad abotu worrying about a storm or a dr. visit or something. now, i don't worry or overthink those types of things, i go w/ the flow on that. I tend to overthink on what people think of me or why they aren't calling or responding to me sometimes. My mind tends to automatically go towards they're mad at me or something when in reality, there is absolutely no reason for the person to be mad/angry or upset with me 99% of the time. It's just my mind trying to come up w/ a reason for the silence.

If anyone has any ideas on how to overcome that type of thing, I'd welcome any suggestions.

 

[MehGuy]

How nothing in life is exciting anymore..