Valenines Day got me thinking.....

[mustang333]

What does everyone think about relationships in college (boyfriend/girlfriend of course)?

I think "real" relationships are somewhat rare and its hard being on your own and living life without that special someone to help you. In Genesis God says a man/woman leaves home and finds someone to "cling" to. How does this work out in college?

I know it's kind of a broad question, but just narrow it down to your opinion

 

[soda]

everybody is different. it's easier for some people to find their cling-to-person. for others it's harder.

the question is, what do you do with that?
I'm not always a fan of pauls, but he said some good words in corinthians, in the sense of: as long as you're not married, concentrate on god. when you get married, don't give god the 2nd place.

enjoy your singlehood and make the best of all the benefits. when you're in a relationship make the compromises you can live with, but never loose sight of god.

 

[Shulamite]

everybody is different. it's easier for some people to find their cling-to-person. for others it's harder.

the question is, what do you do with that?
I'm not always a fan of pauls, but he said some good words in corinthians, in the sense of: as long as you're not married, concentrate on god. when you get married, don't give god the 2nd place.

enjoy your singlehood and make the best of all the benefits. when you're in a relationship make the compromises you can live with, but never loose sight of god.

Amen, well said.
Luke 14:26 says it well too.

When you have a close relationship with Jesus, everything else will take 2nd place. He will be your first love!

 

[mustang333]

everybody is different. it's easier for some people to find their cling-to-person. for others it's harder.

the question is, what do you do with that?
I'm not always a fan of pauls, but he said some good words in corinthians, in the sense of: as long as you're not married, concentrate on god. when you get married, don't give god the 2nd place.

enjoy your singlehood and make the best of all the benefits. when you're in a relationship make the compromises you can live with, but never loose sight of god.

I think your advice makes sense, and I agree about what Paul said. I think the problem he saw concerning people putting there spouses in God's place is still a problem today, but definitely an understandable problem. It's understandable because our relationship with God so based on faith while a relationship with another person can seem more "real".

 

[soda]

.... It's understandable because our relationship with God so based on faith while a relationship with another person can seem more "real".

that's right. nobody said it's easy to be a christian (=having a relationship with god). but I say: it's worth it!

 

[PixieSunbelle]

I used to hate Valentines Day because I was always single in a small school. Everyone else always had a boyfriend, so i felt left out. Everyone always got more Valentines Cards than me... the ones i got were from kids whose parents made them give to the whole class. I had no "big dates". So, when I met Lee; I finally had someone to celebrate it with. Of course, our most important day is Halloween because thats our anniversary! Haha, theres still candy for the kids; but we celebrate it as our anniversary instead of Halloween.

 

[Shulamite]

I think your advice makes sense, and I agree about what Paul said. I think the problem he saw concerning people putting there spouses in God's place is still a problem today, but definitely an understandable problem. It's understandable because our relationship with God so based on faith while a relationship with another person can seem more "real".

I agree. I have seen this so many times. People's marriages come before their relationship with Jesus.
I guess unless the Lord opens someone's heart to see this, they won't. People have even mentioned to me that they love their husband or wife just as much as the Lord.
This to me is having a "rival" in the Lord's eyes. We are to love Him more than any other relationship and then everything else comes second.

Jesus was very clear in the scriptures that our marriages, kids, and even our own life must come second to Him.

I feel that only the Spirit can do this in a person's heart.
I fell in love with Him as my Bridegroom and ever since then, my marriage, kids and job, etc., all fell to second place naturally. He did this in me and not in my own effort.

 

[ossoofoo]

It's good to have someone in college that can comfort you and that you can go to if you're troubled. People need other people, we're social creatures. It's great to have the comfort of god and all, but having someone to feel love for in reality is important as well.

 

[Blessedbella]

I think relationships in college are hard. If you can stay focused, and keep God first, then I think a relationship is awesome! Take everyone elses advice, and enjoy being single. In the mean time make plans for your future. Some thing happens to people when they get serious enough to write out their goals. God only does what we cannot!!

I'm gonna quote pastor Joel Osteen "Keep your eye on the dough nut and not the hole!"

 

[aquietkindoflove]

I'm a freshman, and most of what I've seen of college relationships with my fellow freshmen hasn't been too good. Very few have lasted and it's only the end of February! Some of the relationships which were started before college have lasted, some haven't. Mine has, thankfully.

If a relationship helps bring you closer to God and doesn't distract you too much, then it's okay. If not, then it's not. That is very relative, unfortunately, but I think it's impossible not to have relativity when it comes to things like this, because people are at such different levels of maturity and whatnot at this age.

 

[YoBelievo]

Not to derail the original question, but along similar lines;

we all know that humans need each other. Relationships are good. But what about casual dating (without sex of course)? I mean it's just a date, right? perhaps girls and guys have different opinions on this.

 

[willard3]

Depends. If mutual friends honestly think that these people would like each other, then set-ups are ok in my book, as long as it's designed for friendship first.

Casual dating in general I do not agree with, though. Relationships should be built on friendships first.

This coming from a person who failed miserably at one relationship, botched while trying to start two more, and now only seems to be attracted to people he is only mildly acquainted with. Worse, attracted to two who he is good friends with...but are already taken. Arrrgh.
(not to mention has a bad case of love-shyness)

 

[mustang333]

Not to derail the original question, but along similar lines;

we all know that humans need each other. Relationships are good. But what about casual dating (without sex of course)? I mean it's just a date, right? perhaps girls and guys have different opinions on this.

Casual dating works for some people, others it doesn't. I prefer being friends first and then letting that grow into a romantic relationship if its meant to be.

 

[alfrodull]

College has actually become a lot easier for me since I've been in a relationship. I'm much more motivated to succeed, and I worry a lot less about the future. Because of this, my grades have actually gone up.

It does have its own set of challenges, but a hard and fast rule about not dating in college isn't the best for everyone.