Unwanted emails

[sonshnes]

Hi all. I need some advice. For the past 2 years, I have been getting unwanted emails from a guy I went to high school with. He doesn't email me all the time, but when he does, there are 3 or 4 in a row. He continues to ask me to meet him for coffee or go out with him. I wasn't really friends with him in high school, yet he acts like we're old friends that need to catch up. His emails are very forward, in my opinion. My question is, how can I nicely tell him that I'm not interested? I don't want to be a jerk, but I've been pretty blunt in the past that I am not at all interested in going out with him. He is not someone that I would feel comfortable or safe being around. I have tried ignoring that he is asking me out, telling him that I'm not comfortable with it, that I'm not interested, etc. Should I ignore his emails all together? Since I didn't respond yesterday, he emailed again today. I've also had to block 6 different AIM screen names. Help!!! I really don't want to be mean and heartless, but I want all of this to stop.

Thanks!

 

[joeman1]

I know you may not want to hurt anyone but just tell him the truth. tell him that you don't remember him and that you don't feel comfortable with him sending you these emails and then if that doesn't work threaten with legal steps.

 

[Out of the Flames]

If you've made it clear in the past that you're not interested, then reply one more time to tell him, "hey, this is the last time that I'm going to say it- I'm not interested in seeing you and I'd appreciate it if you would avoid contacting me." Then block his email address. He's being rude by not respecting your wishes and you're under no obligation to tolerate him simply because you're trying to be nice.

 

[Apollonian]

I wonder if he's trying to sell you something... he might just be spamming you, though I don't know. I've gotten used to deleting massive amounts of spam. I'd say ignore him until he stops.

If he starts calling or asking in person, then its time to think about a restraining order.

Godbless and good luck
-Apollonian

 

[Ginsu]

Sounds like a keeper to me.

It may seem rude or insensitive, but I'm going to suggest what Apollonian wrote.

 

[MrsGnomeCrusher]

I personally would want an answer why he's so gung-ho on wanting to date me now when we didn't really know each other back in HS and (assuming) I never really saw him since.

It's time to stop being all sweet and nice. It's getting you nowhere. Sometimes you have to put your foot down with these guys. Sometimes you have to be a bit pushy and telling him how it is. Doing that doesn't mean you're mean or heartless. Don't feel guilty for sticking up for yourself.

 

[sonshnes]

Thanks for your suggestions! I really appreciate it.

 

[MadeInOz]

he's probably in one of those pyramid schemes and he needs to get more people to reach the next level. We had an 'old friend' contact us recently to offer us a 'great opportunity' *rolls eyes*

 

[Tuffguy]

Just go out with him,, don't be such a prude!!!!

Hes stalker type. BE MEAN. It may be the only thing he will understand and might actually prevent him and you from getting hurt in the future.

 

[Stanfi]

Hmm... So you didn't really know this person? You never were friends or anything with him? No type of realtionship whatsoever?

The key is to be direct. Simply state that you are not intersted in going out, meeting whatever, and that you do not want to be contacted again. Be very clear.

So many times when people try to be nice, there is this haze of confusion, and perhaps that guy actually is under the illussion that there is some interest on your part.

There there is nothing like threating to call the cops that says "I don't like you".

 

[horuhe00]

Use his email and subscribe him to every possible mailing list you can find

Tell him to beat it, then place him on the ignore list. If it doesn't work, tell daddy where he lives

 

[jenptcfan]

Set up rules in your email account to block his messages--that way you'll never even see his messages.

I'd give him one last..."Just to make it clear, I'm not interested in having any further contact with you...not even via email" note then immediately block him.

I have had to block people on AIM too, and finally I started using the setting where people I don't have on my buddy list can't IM me. That way I didn't have to worry that someone would just create a new screen name and start all over again.

 

[Blank123]

If you've already told him ur not interested in seeing him, then there's really nothing more to say, is there? If it were me he'd be on my block list by now.

 

[klewlis]

Send him one last email to tell him that you are blocking him, and then do so.

 

[lilray]

Yikes?!? He doesn't know where you live does he? He should've gotten the hint by now.

 

[sonshnes]

He only has my college email address, which I don't think has blocking capabilities. Thankfully, it will wipe itself out in November, and he won't have any of my other email address. I pray that he doesn't know where I live, but there are only two families in the entire city of Columbus w/ my last name....

I'm going to email him one last time to tell him that I don't want him emailing me anymore and that I won't be responding again.

Thanks for the great advice, everyone. I've taken the hint that I shouldn't be Miss Nice Girl anymore...at least not to him

 

[Peter_in_Christ]

Dear Sonshnes,

If they're just e-mails, you can choose to ignore them and delete them from your inbox. The effect things have on you will be dependent on the way you look and interpret the situation. It's ok to ignore and block e-mails, you have a choice in how you handle them, imagine a letter getting lost in the post or not having the internet, what does it feel like?

Recently I discovered that writing e-mails can lead to many misunderstandings and I have decided not to correspond electronically unless necessary and to stick with traditional methods of communication i.e. talking in person or writing letters. We seem to have lost this art...

Hope this helps.

Take care and God bless,
Love in Christ

Peter

 

[sonshnes]

Well, I took the advice of many of you and wrote him telling him once more that I wasn't interested in meeting with him and that I didn't want any more emails. I told him that I would not be responding to any thing else he sent me. What I got in return was a really terrible email. I know that I shouldn't let it get to me, but he said the following and more, and I'm starting to wonder if some of it is true...

"You are simply far too paranoid and prickly for me to ever want to hang out with. I feel sorry for you that you feel the need to act this way, but these are your problems not mine. I wish you nothing but the best, but your future will not include me in any way. It is your loss really ,because we could have been friends if nothing else, and i certainly had no expectations for you because I thought there was a good chance you would act this way..

for your sake, i hope that you get your attitude adjusted so that guys will actually be interested in you, because the way you are now i cannot see how anyone would be."

I think I did the right thing, but at the same time, it kinda hurts. It also irks me b/c I shouldn't have had to tell him 10 times that I wasn't interested.

But anyways, thanks for your help!

 

[El Guapo]

If I punched you in the eye and then insulted you would you care? He's put you through worse than that (well if it was a light punch) and so there's no need to care for what he says. Keep in mind these are the words coming from someone who emails an old acquaintance almost a dozen times to hook up w/ her even though she repeatedly and clearly rebuffs him every time.

This happened to a friend of mine too, almost exactly though her pursuer wasn't so much a jerk as yours, so I guess there's a club of obsessive, annoying, clingy people w/ computer access out there. Take care in the fact though that it has nothing to do w/ you, some people just have issues.

 

[joeman1]

You done the right thing. I think he is mainly doing this to get back at you, don't pay him any attention. Its probably just an attempt to make you feel guilty and then agree to go out with him. Don't worry you done the right thing and I will remember you in prayer.