Hi Kywy, I experienced a thought-life similar to the one you're describing when I first became a Christian 30 years ago. I had lived way out in the world before that and, along with the help of the enemy (who apparently did not want to let me go), I could not seem to get away from one horrible thought after another hitting my mind, sometimes all day long. So I know how frustrating and exhausting it can be

, especially with the enemy always trying to convince you that "real Christians" don't have such thoughts
I'm happily all but free of such attacks now (and have been for decades), well, at least on a regular basis anyway, PTL. And I also know how to deal with them now whenever they do come along.
I followed the advice of a pastor
(Chuck Swindoll Insight for Living Ministries) who told me that I needed to get the old, stale, ugly garbage out of my head once and for all, and replace it with something far better, the word of God. I suppose there may be different ways to do that, but I used the method he recommended and memorized Scripture verses and passages.
The wonderful thing is, Pastor Swindoll was right, not only about getting rid of the garbage, it also seemed to fill in all the spaces up there and left no room left for any of the bad stuff to return (or space for any new garbage to take it's place

) The weird thing is, there always seems to be plenty of room for new stuff that's good, both the word of God, and other things that are good and honorable too ..
Philippians 4:8. I'm not sure how or why it works that way, but that is what I've experienced.
BTW, I'm not talking about memorizing the entire Bible, or even entire books or chapters, rather, just a number of verses and passages will do. There are well-established Scripture memory systems available, like the Navigator's
Topical Memory System, to help get you started (and it's free

). If the idea of this sounds good, PM me if you'd like to, and I'll help you get started. To be honest, it will require time and effort on your part (especially when you get started), but if you are as sick and tired of your horrible thought-life as I was, I'm pretty sure that you'll end up enjoying it once you get the hang of it (especially when you begin to experience the results). You'll also come to realize that the spiritual benefits will FAR outweigh the time and effort you put in
Praying for you!
In Christ,
David
p.s. - when you fill your mind with the word of God in this way, it also makes it far more difficult to sin, because every time you are tempted to, the HS brings several of your memory verses to the front of your mind as reminders of why you shouldn't
"How can a young man keep his way pure? By keeping it according
to Thy word. Thy word I have treasured in my heart
that I may not sin against Thee"
Psalm 119:9-11