Unable to make connections...

[step_by_step]

I'm so scared.

I was doing great and my bpd was almost unnoticeable. Then I reconnected with an old friend and BAM. It's back in full swing. I am splitting something horrible tonight and I tried so hard not to freak out on this friend and I did better than I used to but still...I'm worried I sabotaged the friendship and it's just so embarrassing even if I didn't.

What if I can't have friends? What if I can't have people in my life because my bpd just gets in the way? Dear God, I feel awful.

 

[NW82]

Don't feel bad about it. I don't have bpd or any other disorder and I can't maintain relationships either.

 

[Tolworth John]

What if I can't have friends? What if I can't have people in my life because my bpd just gets in the way?

Friends make allowences for their friends.

Yes I suspect you will find it harder than most to make good friends. You will put some people off who don't want to get involved with someone 'who is different'

Not everyone is as shallow as that.
Get involved in your church, do as much as you can, live life.

 

[dayhiker]

I'd suggest take relationships slow.
Learn to ask for space to deal with new feelings.