"Ugly Heart"

[punk_pressing_on]

Look at my face, do these tears mean nothing to you?
Look at my wrists, do these scars mean nothing to you?
Can’t you see my hidden pain?
Can’t you see what’s in my heart?
Can’t you see it’s black, dying, bleeding?
Where’s my healing?
Why do I feel nothing?
All emotions are dead,
My face is blank,
but my heart… my ugly heart…
it’s screaming, it’s bleeding, it’s dying!

Trust is so hard, I can not trust myself,
what makes you think I’ll trust you?
My heart… It’s bleeding… It’s bleeding…
My heart… It’s been stabbed one to many times…

 

[brinny]

There's even more of a message in there that's screaming to come out. Think of the most powerful 'action' words you can. Eliminate the ones that take up empty space and distract from the power of what's writhing to get out.

Powerful piece.

 

[punk_pressing_on]

There's even more of a message in there that's screaming to come out. Think of the most powerful 'action' words you can. Eliminate the ones that take up empty space and distract from the power of what's writhing to get out.

Powerful piece.

This is actually a very old one that I have no idea when I wrote it.

 

[brinny]

I'm bowled over....you have so much inside. Do you remeber what prompted or inspired you to write the piece?

 

[punk_pressing_on]

I'm bowled over....you have so much inside. Do you remeber what prompted or inspired you to write the piece?

As I said beofre this is an old one, but sometimes I will listen to music, read other peoples poems, read lyrics from bands, or something like that, and I just feel the in the world. It's not really my pain, but the pain of people who don't have what I have. That probably doesn't make any sense :-\

 

[NiemandheißtBoshaftigkeit]

There's even more of a message in there that's screaming to come out. Think of the most powerful 'action' words you can. Eliminate the ones that take up empty space and distract from the power of what's writhing to get out.

Powerful piece.

uhm, by "action words" you just mean verbs, right?

 

[brinny]

As I said beofre this is an old one, but sometimes I will listen to music, read other peoples poems, read lyrics from bands, or something like that, and I just feel the in the world. It's not really my pain, but the pain of people who don't have what I have. That probably doesn't make any sense :-\

actually it does make sense....you feel others' pain. It means that you can empathize. And in order to empathize one must have felt pain at one time or another. when you mention others not having what you have, do you mean 'hope'?

 

[GodOwnsMe]

hey im real glad thts not what ur feeling...................
jus in case ur like me.....I did stuff like tht.............well more like I got into other ppl's dark feelings w/out ...settin them apart from my own really n wow it got me into a LOT of ****.......... take care..but rawk on w/ ur poetry =)