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I dug as hard as I cared to and I'll be honest, I couldn't find more than maybe 6-12 genuine examples mostly from pacific northwestern tribes. I couldn't tell you the exact number of tribes, but I'm certain some of those examples were pulled from the same tribe.
I know for a fact there were two-spirit individuals in plains Indian tribes. The French used the term berdache to describe them, usually in harsh, condemning terms. Anthropologists have described that behavior in the past as homosexual transsexualism, and it typically how queer identities manifest in traditional non-western cultures.
I disagree....I don't know any expert who agrees with you. We can probably generally describe about 90%+ of North American tribes as patriarchal, familial monarchies, non-egalitarian (chieftains typically horded wealth), with distinct gender roles. Men were expected to hunt food, make war, and die in battle. Almost universally disgrace, torture, and shame were heaped upon those who were cowardly.
Most Native Americans were matrilineal, meaning that wealth and clan were passed down through the mother's line. They almost never had "nuclear family" type dynamics. Their governments were also based on consensus, and a "chief" was not analogous to a king. That makes it harder to draw direct analogies to our own culture.
Not all Native American cultures were warlike, it just depended on their circumstances. War wasn't normative for most of the cultures, and required rituals of atonement and purification.
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