Two Weeks Today

[sjdean]

Two weeks today, I get baptised and confirmed in CofE. They're planning on having a lunch afterwards to mark the occasion. Im just wondering whether Im allowed any wriggle room to go and see Birmingham City take on Wolverhampton Wanderers (a soccer match) instead of going for the lunch.

It's not fair, everything all at once.

What would other Christians do? Without a doubt I'll be attending the baptism. I kind of have an obligation for that. But the lunch?

 

[seashale76]

Two weeks today, I get baptised and confirmed in CofE. They're planning on having a lunch afterwards to mark the occasion. Im just wondering whether Im allowed any wriggle room to go and see Birmingham City take on Wolverhampton Wanderers (a soccer match) instead of going for the lunch.

It's not fair, everything all at once.

What would other Christians do? Without a doubt I'll be attending the baptism. I kind of have an obligation for that. But the lunch?

Baptism is a huge deal. I'm assuming it is considered a big deal in the CofE just as it is in Orthodoxy. The lunch after is to welcome you into the fold.

This would be one of those situations where the football match should take a backseat. I know you really want to go and see it- people around here feel the same way about non-soccer football and basketball, much like my Jamaican and Australian co-workers feel about watching big cricket games. If it is being televised then you should record it to watch later. There will always be other football matches to go and see.

Congrats on your upcoming baptism btw!

 

[millie3]

sjdean. I'm from an Aston Villa supporting family so I probably should say - don't go! Are others being baptised with you? Is the vicar male? If so he'll probably be understanding. I suppose if the lunch is being held for you alone it could be a bit tricky especially if it's been arranged but who knows, if you have a chat with the vicar he may put the lunch on another Sunday. Whatever happens concerning the match, I hope you have a great baptism!

 

[sjdean]

Thanks Millie. Yeah, there's a grand total of seven of us being baptised and/or confirmed, that's pretty cool. They want to run a rehearsal on Saturday when we play Spurs!!!!! Everything is just happening at once!

Publicly I froth at the Villa. Got to keep up the pretense, but in private, they're a great team with a great manager and here's to midlands football. But that's another story and probably not appropriate for this forum.

 

[sjdean]

Darn it. My mentors, shall I call them that, the ones who have gone through all the classes and organising the lunch, I've gone to them and just said there is a clash with Blues, and I'll be gutted not to be going, but attending the lunch and being part of the fold is I think more important.

They turned around and said "turn up, don't turn up, you don't have to come, it's your choice".

I can't make choices!

 

[heron]

They turned around and said "turn up, don't turn up, you don't have to come, it's your choice".

The lunch is the church's gesture to make you feel welcome, and not have the event appear too dry. It is not really attached spiritually to the baptism, other than what people said above, being welcomed in to the family.

I don't think anyone needs to know why you miss an event, unless you have committed yourself to a responsibility. Just tell them politely ahead of time, that you appreciate the gesture but will not be able to attend the lunch portion of the baptism.

Advance notice is important, as people will be investing their time to purchase and cook, launder tablecloths, set out chairs, maybe make namecards. Any large meal takes work.

Then again, it is a one-time event, a chance to talk with others who are getting baptised with you. And you have to eat sometime.

 

[sjdean]

Everythings turned up all at once.

The Saturday has the rehearsal, my friend is planning his birthday celebrations that night. Wanting to be of a good frame of mind the following day if I go out, it can only be briefly. Then his birthday and the football is on the same day as the baptism!

I'd like to spend some time with my friend on his birthday, and if I can't go out the night before.... Oh dear. What to do!

Thanks for your advice Heron. Just hope I make the right decision. Both are important to me - obviously baptism and confirmation are the two most important.

 

[English Lad]

Im a huge Manchester United supporter and go to alot of games home and away, But if i were to get baptised and a match was on i wouldnt go, Football definatlley has to take a back seat for your special day.

 

[sjdean]

Most definitely the baptism is more important, the question was, whether the lunch afterwards was a requirement or more important?

I spoke to my friends though - and I think I cause all my own problems. I feel that Im between a rock and a hard place, by two sets of people who both want me there, both of whom I would like/need to spend time with and I don't want to let anybody down.

Asked another "neutral" friend, who advised that I should go to the lunch - it's more important, and not to let my mate twist my arm. It was also then I realised that my mate wasn't twisting my arm, it was just my own sense of letting people down.

It is that attitude that makes me really defensive of my friends when people tell me I need a better class of friends.

Cya
Simon