Twitching?

[TULIPgirl]

Hey everyone,
I'm not sure exactly how to explain this, but I want to try because it is REALLY frustrating me.
I've read lots of books on OCD and I thought I understood what is usually helpful in fighting it, but I'm not sure about this particular thing that I'm having. I either can't find it in the books or I'm not sure if it's the same thing...
Anyway, a lot of my obsessions are about either causing harm to someone or obsessions about sexual stuff...it gets so that I'm afraid to move, because if I move even a little bit it might cause something else to move and the vibrations from the movement might go on and on until it contributes to harming somebody...kind of like a chain reaction or something...my stamping my foot in my bedroom might contribute to a rock falling off a cliff a mile away and hitting somebody in the head...
But the thing is, I feel like I either have to block the thought before I move even a little bit, or I have to hold still until I CAN block the thought. So I end up thinking, "don't move, don't move," and usually I'm focusing on some area, like my hand or my finger or something, and sometimes I end up twitching it, I guess because I'm thinking so hard about not doing it. And sometimes it feels like I couldn't control it, and sometimes it feels like I moved on purpose.
If I think I did it on purpose I feel guilty because then I feel like I'm responsible for whatever harm might happen, or if it was connected with a sexual thought, then I'm afraid I molested somebody (like if I'm doing home health work and the "don't move, don't move" pops in my head while I'm helping them shower or dress).
I just don't know how to describe it very good, but I don't know what to do to fight this particular thing, so any suggestions would be appreciated.

 

[dabro]

You have Responsibility OCD. Look at OCDonline.com and the video on Pure-O. He tells a lit'l bit about it. But rest assure it's OCD. I used to have obsession's sexual in nature but that theme changed a long time ago. I would suggest if you havn't already, to get on some Anti-D's and go to therapy. I know it seems hard right now but I assure you in time it will get better.

 

[kaykay9.0]

You have Responsibility OCD. Look at OCDonline.com and the video on Pure-O. He tells a lit'l bit about it. But rest assure it's OCD. I used to have obsession's sexual in nature but that theme changed a long time ago. I would suggest if you havn't already, to get on some Anti-D's and go to therapy. I know it seems hard right now but I assure you in time it will get better.

Ditto, like Dabro said, this sounds like responsibility OCD totally out of control. Personally, part of my battles with OCD do involve the responsibility OCD, but it's pretty mild. Right now you are in a bad flare of this. (Responsibility OCD obsesses about somehow harming someone, and again, like most OCD battles, it goes waaay beyond the true and the realistic, but takes it to the nth degree sometimes.) I think the sexual component you're experiencing is just an offshoot of this same OCD thing.

Like Dabro said, you clearly need some help with this right now. Are you getting therapy of any kind and/or taking meds? If you already are, you need to go back to your therapist or physician and let them know what is happening and that you need some more help. If you haven't gotten some kind of professional help, prior to this, I think now is definitely the time! I understand responsibility OCD and it can make you miserable. And yes, read the one about responsibility OCD on the website www.ocdonline.com.
if you never have. I'm sure you will relate to it, maybe not in specific ways but the general concept. Praying for you as well~~

 

[TULIPgirl]

Hey thanks for your help! I did go read the article; it does sound a bit like me...
yeah, I should probably go back to therapy because it seems like I CANNOT manage this on my own right now, but it's so expensive that I'm not sure I'd be able to keep on doing it. Maybe I can figure out some way...It's reaching critical proportions because it's taking over my life!

 

[John B Jr.]

God knows your heart is right and that it's not your intent to cause someone to stumble. Luke 11:46...memorize this, Jesus is NOT that strict and He paid the debt for all your failures.