Turnoffs!

[AWorkInProgress]

I'd have to say: just don't set me as any kind of over-all idol of maturity. During the past couple of weeks, I've at least fallen into thinking negatively of my neighbor, saying thoughtless things while feeling angry, being lazy... the list could go on. And some of those things I've fallen into here on the CF. But still, I really couldn't take it seriously when I was indirectly referred to as the 'fool' of Proverbs 26.

And yes, let's not dwell on some single expressions that someone has used here.

Yup I did for at the time IP was trying to be the wiser. lol not my fault if he is easily provoked. I was trying defuse a bomb before it goes off.

All well, make room MCN. Can I have some while we watch this thread explode and get locked down?

 

[Niels]

I'd have to say: just don't set me as any kind of over-all idol of maturity. During the past couple of weeks, I've at least fallen into thinking negatively of my neighbor, saying thoughtless things while feeling angry, being lazy... the list could go on. And some of those things I've fallen into here on the CF. But still, I really couldn't take it seriously when I was indirectly referred to as the 'fool' of Proverbs 26.

And yes, let's not dwell on some single expressions that someone has used here.

Suomipoika, I simply agreed with what you said.

I'm not a perfect model of maturity either, but that doesn't mean I can't grow, or that I don't see it in others.

Yup I did for at the time IP was trying to be the wiser. lol not my fault if he is easily provoked. I was trying defuse a bomb before it goes off.

All well, make room MCN. Can I have some while we watch this thread explode and get locked down?

You're not giving IP enough credit. Here's a guy who turned his life around by taking control of his situation. It should be a cinch for him to be a little more considerate in his posts. For all we know, he's already considerate in real life. It's easy to come across the wrong way online.

It's possible to list turnoffs without being petty or slamming others for things that they have little control over, and that is evidenced by the vast majority of posts in this thread.

 

[AWorkInProgress]

Suomipoika, I simply agreed with what you said.

I'm not a perfect model of maturity either, but that doesn't mean I can't grow, or that I don't see it in others.



You're not giving IP enough credit. Here's a guy who turned his life around by taking control of his situation. It should be a cinch for him to be a little more considerate in his posts. For all we know, he's already considerate in real life. It's easy to come across the wrong way online.

It's possible to list turnoffs without being petty or slamming others for things that they have little control over, and that is evidenced by the vast majority of posts in this thread.

hehe I know he is capable. Why I backed him. Also we have a common aquantance we share. If she trusts him, so do I.

 

[Beautiful Fireball]

Wow, you guys all talk about maturity. Why don't you try exhibiting some yourself? Seriously

 

[ImperialPhantom]

If you can't tell difference, then maybe you should take some time to figure out what it is that you're missing. Seriously. If you can grow in this area, it will only be to your advantage. Some people will never get it... but I would be truly surprised if you don't. You seem like a sharp guy. Think about it.

I stand by my previous post.

Don't play the "oh, you'll never get it" card, dude. ANY turnoff that is listed here could be seen by someone who is applied to them, and offend them. Someone who is struggling in the faith could see when someone lists "wishy-washy in their faith" and take it as being insensitive. Someone who enjoys a glass of wine with a meal could see "drinking" and be offended, and take it as someone being holier-than-thou. If you don't get my point, then you're just trying not to get it, because I know you're smart enough to get it. But even as the light comes on in your head, you are already planning to refuse to admit that you get it.

You're not giving IP enough credit. Here's a guy who turned his life around by taking control of his situation. It should be a cinch for him to be a little more considerate in his posts. For all we know, he's already considerate in real life. It's easy to come across the wrong way online.

It's possible to list turnoffs without being petty or slamming others for things that they have little control over, and that is evidenced by the vast majority of posts in this thread.

That's probably the most biased, unfair, double-standardized thing I've seen come out of one of your posts. I, like everyone else, simply listed my turnoffs in a list, and made NO mention of anyone whom these apply to. You, however, are immaturely choosing to go after me, simply because I argued with Suomi.

 

[Keri]

Come on guys... I should just have this thing closed.


Bad thread idea.

 

[Beautiful Fireball]

Come on guys... I should just have this thing closed.


Bad thread idea.

I think it was a good idea. This has been discussed here before, I don't really get why its such a big deal either.

 

[JPPT1974]

Please don't shut the thread down
Really I like the thread.

 

[Niels]

Don't play the "oh, you'll never get it" card, dude. ANY turnoff that is listed here could be seen by someone who is applied to them, and offend them. Someone who is struggling in the faith could see when someone lists "wishy-washy in their faith" and take it as being insensitive. Someone who enjoys a glass of wine with a meal could see "drinking" and be offended, and take it as someone being holier-than-thou. If you don't get my point, then you're just trying not to get it, because I know you're smart enough to get it. But even as the light comes on in your head, you are already planning to refuse to admit that you get it.

Ok... I see what's going on. We're talking about different things. What you said about wanting a girl that drinks isn't the issue. I don't have a problem with your views on the subject.

That's probably the most biased, unfair, double-standardized thing I've seen come out of one of your posts. I, like everyone else, simply listed my turnoffs in a list, and made NO mention of anyone whom these apply to. You, however, are immaturely choosing to go after me, simply because I argued with Suomi.

If you read what I wrote more carefully, you would notice that I was agreeing with Suomipoika about 'buttless girl' type comments. Though you had written something similar, I wasn't directly referring to your list of turnoffs. It was more of a general thing. If you hadn't gotten defensive, I wouldn't have even mentioned you.

You see, an old friend of mine used to have a giant "No Fat Chicks!" sign on his wall. It was actually a favorite slogan of his. Unfortunately, he didn't realize how it hurt his female friends... some of whom were overweight. He eventually took the sign down, and stopped saying that phrase when he realized that he was being immature and unintentionally hurting others. Does that help clarify where I'm coming from? If you would like, I can provide more examples.

 

[Im_A]

Come on guys... I should just have this thing closed.


Bad thread idea.

no it's not a bad thread idea at all in my opinion.

IP should not have been criticized for his initial response to the OP. the OP was a mere question of one's turnoffs...not a breeding ground of debate about people's turn offs. people should have started a new thread if they want to debate about people's turn offs.

good thread Kerri no matter how it has turned out.

 

[Im_A]

Ok... I see what's going on. We're talking about different things. What you said about wanting a girl that drinks isn't the issue. I don't have a problem with your views on the subject.


If you read what I wrote more carefully, you would notice that I was agreeing with Suomipoika about 'buttless girl' type comments. Though you had written something similar, I wasn't directly referring to your list of turnoffs. It was more of a general thing. If you hadn't gotten defensive, I wouldn't have even mentioned you.

You see, an old friend of mine used to have a giant "No Fat Chicks!" sign on his wall. It was actually a favorite slogan of his. Unfortunately, he didn't realize how it hurt his female friends... some of whom were overweight. He eventually took the sign down, and stopped saying that phrase when he realized that he was being immature and unintentionally hurting others. Does that help clarify where I'm coming from? If you would like, I can provide more examples.

i hope you don't mind me responding to this, and IP i apologize if it is not good of me to respond to a response to you from someone else.

i see your point there, but if you look at IP's initial list of turn offs, he also stated, "overly skinny" girls.

 

[ImperialPhantom]

Ok... I see what's going on. We're talking about different things. What you said about wanting a girl that drinks isn't the issue. I don't have a problem with your views on the subject.

No, the issue, so far as I know, was my butt comments, and my legs comments. AGAIN, the point remains the same. It's no different than saying that someone who has bigger hands than me, or who doesn't like green tea, or who never wears dresses, or who doesn't watch The Office, is a turnoff. But you're obsessed with this idea that it's somehow worse and evil, and that I'm a jerk for saying it.

If you read what I wrote more carefully, you would notice that I was agreeing with Suomipoika about 'buttless girl' type comments. Though you had written something similar, I wasn't directly referring to your list of turnoffs. It was more of a general thing. If you hadn't gotten defensive, I wouldn't have even mentioned you.

You said, "It's possible to list turnoffs without being petty or slamming others for things that they have little control over, and that is evidenced by the vast majority of posts in this thread.". You obviously directly referenced me. Don't try to play the "gee, I'm innocent, you're overreacting card" - I'd have to be stupid to fall for that one, so do me a favor and don't insult my intelligence by lying to me AGAIN.

You see, an old friend of mine used to have a giant "No Fat Chicks!" sign on his wall. It was actually a favorite slogan of his. Unfortunately, he didn't realize how it hurt his female friends... some of whom were overweight. He eventually took the sign down, and stopped saying that phrase when he realized that he was being immature and unintentionally hurting others. Does that help clarify where I'm coming from? If you would like, I can provide more examples.

That is apples and oranges. A good comparison would be if I wrote "no buttless chicks!" in my signature and displayed it everywhere. But I posted a legit turnoff in a THREAD FOR TURNOFFS. Does the obvious somehow not make sense to you?

 

[HoosierCanuck]

Well, I made the mistake of thinking I could be okay with out my meds. I've been off of them for two weeks so right now my turnoff is people in general. I work with a bunch of young drama queens I would like to slap around and tell them to get over themselves. The men at work are all arrogant pigs who think they are God's gift to this planet.

When I'm medicated and thinking rationally....turnoffs are smoking, swearing, lying, obsessions with rap music, video games, violent movies, bad hygiene, irresponsible behaviour, lack of sense of humour, lack of concern for others' well-being, rudeness, excessive flirting, arrogance, domineering personalities and the other extreme...someone who is too afraid to do anything.

That pretty much covers it.

 

[Niels]

No, the issue, so far as I know, was my butt comments, and my legs comments. AGAIN, the point remains the same. It's no different than saying that someone who has bigger hands than me, or who doesn't like green tea, or who never wears dresses, or who doesn't watch The Office, is a turnoff. But you're obsessed with this idea that it's somehow worse and evil, and that I'm a jerk for saying it.

There *are* ways to say things without ticking people off. Tactfulness is not a sign of weakness.

You said, "It's possible to list turnoffs without being petty or slamming others for things that they have little control over, and that is evidenced by the vast majority of posts in this thread.". You obviously directly referenced me. Don't try to play the "gee, I'm innocent, you're overreacting card" - I'd have to be stupid to fall for that one, so do me a favor and don't insult my intelligence by lying to me AGAIN.

I didn't lie to you, and I still stand by what I said.


Here is the actual post that you got all worked up over:

"Well said, Suomipoika.

What it comes down to is maturity. A mature individual takes the feelings of others into consideration when expressing themselves. It is childish and potentially hurtful to refer to others as 'buttless' etc."

Notice how I never mentioned ImperialPhantom, and how I quoted 'buttless' from his post.

If I was in a similar situation as you (having listed that type of thing), I might ask the person why they considered it childish or hurtful, and then attempt to clarify my position if I still disagreed with them. I wouldn't attack them. However, you proceeded to attack me.

Who here never says anything childish or hurtful? Oh that's right, you!

That is apples and oranges. A good comparison would be if I wrote "no buttless chicks!" in my signature and displayed it everywhere. But I posted a legit turnoff in a THREAD FOR TURNOFFS. Does the obvious somehow not make sense to you?

You still don't get it do you?

Being asked to list turnoffs isn't a blank check to say whatever you want, however you want, and not expect a reaction. So far, you have gone ballistic on everyone that disagrees with you. Disagreement does not equal an attack.

 

[Beautiful Fireball]

Yes, I know this was not directed at me, but I think I have done a VERY good job of keeping my mouth shut.

Notice how I never mentioned ImperialPhantom, and how I quoted 'buttless' from their post.

As far as I know IP was the only one who even mentioned butts in their list of turnoffs, tell me then how that was not referring to him?

If I was in a similar situation as you (having listed that type of thing), I might ask the person why they considered it childish or hurtful, and then attempt to clarify my position if I still disagreed with them. I wouldn't attack them. However, you proceeded to attack me.

Whoever said that people had to do what you said? You don't know IP at all if you really believe that he would set out to hurt people. Yeah, he's blunt and honest, so what. THATS NOT A BAD THING.

Who here never says anything childish or hurtful? Oh that's right, you!

And who's the one being childish now?

Being asked to list turnoffs isn't a blank check to say whatever you want, however you want, and not expect a reaction. So far, you have gone ballistic on everyone that disagrees with you. Disagreement does not equal an attack.

IP did not make his list to insult anybody and there have been a number of people here who who have said things similar to him. You guys are attacking him. You are talking about him amongst yourselves about his supposed lack of maturity, yet how stinkin' mature is it to be bad mouthing another person amongst yourselves?

Seriously guys drop it. You are NOT going to get anywhere. IP is perfectly entitled to stand by what he said, so are you. But you have been personally attacking him, and you don't even know him!

And before I get the comments, no I am not saying this because he is my bf. It just amazes me that you guys feel the need to attack character and talk about another person and their supposed lack of maturity from a silly little list that was answering a general question. Many people in this thread have not stated their lists the best way. Why is it that they are not made to justify their lists? It just doesn't make any sense. If you don't like what IP says, don't read it. No one is forcing you too.

 

[Niels]

As far as I know IP was the only one who even mentioned butts in their list of turnoffs, tell me then how that was not referring to him?

Already covered this. If you're going to respond to my posts, then please read them first.

Whoever said that people had to do what you said? You don't know IP at all if you really believe that he would set out to hurt people. Yeah, he's blunt and honest, so what. THATS NOT A BAD THING.

Being blunt can be bad. It depends on the context. If he was cut off in traffic by a little old lady, and he proceeded to roll down the window and curse her out, would you still love his 'blunt' honesty?

And who's the one being childish now?

Whoever hasn't truly read the posts that they're replying to.

IP did not make his list to insult anybody and there have been a number of people here who who have said things similar to him. You guys are attacking him. You are talking about him amongst yourselves about his supposed lack of maturity, yet how stinkin' mature is it to be bad mouthing another person amongst yourselves?

IP seems to attack everybody that disagrees with him (so far, in this discussion), but that doesn't mean we're going to bend to however he sees things.

Seriously guys drop it. You are NOT going to get anywhere. IP is perfectly entitled to stand by what he said, so are you. But you have been personally attacking him, and you don't even know him!

It's cute that you stand by him regardless of what he writes, but please realize that he is the one that feels 'perfectly entitled' to say whatever he wants *without anybody disagreeing with him*. And no, disagreement does not constitute an attack.

And before I get the comments, no I am not saying this because he is my bf. It just amazes me that you guys feel the need to attack character and talk about another person and their supposed lack of maturity from a silly little list that was answering a general question. Many people in this thread have not stated their lists the best way. Why is it that they are not made to justify their lists? It just doesn't make any sense. If you don't like what IP says, don't read it. No one is forcing you too.

For all we know, he has good character... but that doesn't mean we have to agree with everything he writes.

 

[HoosierCanuck]

other turnoffs....

useless bickering

 

[connectadot18]

Thinking that I want to pick *EVERY* place we go. I Like him to pick too. Maybe we can do it evenly. You pick, I pick and so on...

 

[Beautiful Fireball]

Already covered this. If you're going to respond to my posts, then please read them first.

I did read them, I'm not stupid thank you. I always read before I reply.

Being blunt can be bad. It depends on the context. If he was cut off in traffic by a little old lady, and he proceeded to roll down the window and curse her out, would you still love his 'blunt' honesty?

Sorry, but when did cussing out someone constitute honesty? I am talking about sticking by what you want and believe in.

You know, its funny. The list that IP made was in reference to women and yet, I have not seen one woman claim she was insulted by what he said. Its only you guys who can't seem to handle a little honesty that have your panties in a bunch. Seriously, grow up. Yeah, it is ok to disagree, but you were attacking and IP and I were NOT the only ones who saw that.

Whoever hasn't truly read the posts that they're replying to.

I did read before replying, do not insinuate that I didn't anymore.

IP seems to attack everybody that disagrees with him (at least in this discussion), but that doesn't mean we're going to accept whatever he says.

He is defending himself. He made a harmless list, like countless people in this thread and he again is insulted for his beliefs and preferences.

It's cute that you stand by him regardless of what he says, but please realize that he is the one that feels 'perfectly entitled' to say whatever he wants *without anybody disagreeing with him*. And no, disagreement does not constitute an attack.

First of all, don't insult my intelligence by calling what I am doing "cute." I'm not sitting here twirling my hair and batting my eyelashes to get people to agree with me. I am not doing this to be "cute" and I am not standing by him just because its what I supposedly should do. Yes, he is perfectly entitled to what he said, and if you notice in my last post I said that YOU WERE TOO. I have an issue that you keep bringing something up when you know full well that nothing is going to change. So, what is the point.

For all we know, he has good character... but that doesn't mean we have to agree with everything he writes.

I NEVER said that you had to agree with everything that he says. You do however need to show some respect. You are the older one here and yet I see others showing more maturity. If you are going to teach someone something you don't do it by telling them that they are immature, then going and talking about the person publicly with two other posters. K?

 

[jsu5381m]

Tardiness.