Turnoffs!

[ElElena]

Happy 4th of July

good going, Keri

 

[Mrs. Luther073082]

I forgot to add smoking.

 

[WhereHeLeadsMe]

codependence, people who use other people, rap music and calamari

 

[Flashlight]

I'm sorry but with lots of brothers, uncles and cousins, I was taught how to spit. I don't spit randomly whenever I feel the need like most males do, but when my roommates and I had a spitting contest off the balcony in Bible College (we were aiming for a palm tree) lets just say I won. Eww. I know, but it was fun.

You are so cool.

A woman that won't let me talk

 

[Keri]

You are so cool.

HAHA! Thanks! I try to not be uptight about the small things in life. You only live once huh?!

 

[Suomipoika]

dont make me sing the kum-ba-ya song again lol....

Imana I do see where you are coming from, in another thread i stating that the bad thing about online forums and posting is you can not read a persons tone so if in the wrong mind set things can be taken harshley and in a bad way. I think that Suo is stepping up to his misunderstood post. These forums are here to help others understand others more, (this is from personal experiance) its hard to post on here with a close mind (not saying you are closeminded...i promise im not....remember kum-ba-ya??? lol ) We are here as a forum to lend an open ear...or I guess in this case an open eye....har di har har jokes are fun!!

Suo, kudos to you for stepping up, and I see your side of the story now that i read about your past and if i were in your shoes i would probably feel the same way, you do make a good point that christian girls/guys should judge who is ew and who isnt, but at the same time it is human nature to do so and everyone has standards on who and what they want in a guy/girl. Especially girls bc every girl has their "dream guy" so when reading this thread one thing to keep in mind is ot make sure to not take anything personal. This all in general....that just bc imana may not like blonde hair guys doesnt mean she automatically hates you....we all ove you suo!!

lol so i hope that has helped some how.....now lets sing....ready? 1...........2..................3..............Kum-ba-ya .............haha jk im not gonna sing it lol ya'll get the clue

I understand teenage girls going nuts about New Kids On The Block and Donnie being so so sweet (huh, still today??), but for Christian people, guys and girs past their teenage, I think it's about striving to grow in maturity and Christ-likeness.

It's about broarder issues than hair color and things like that, and I'm in no way claiming that every given girl will attract me in a romantic way. I think what this all boils down to, in the end, is a question as large as "what kind of effect do I want my life to have on the lives of others"? Do I want the things I do and say to be edifying and engouraging towards others, and i f possible, not offending toward anyone (note that being offended by the Gospel is a whole different thing than being offended by a Christian's conduct). Well, I don't give away my other shirt and often don't walk that second mile with my enemy, but I still do many things in life, and what kind of effect do I want to have on others with the things I do? What has a positive effect and what does not?

If I say to a girl: "I don't like the way you talk evil behind guys' back, that's something they don't like and something that will turn them off from you eventually", that makes the person in question think about her behaviour and consider about the consequenses, which is positive. That is about bad behaviour, and the best way for a friend to make a positive change in her life in that respect is to tell her right in the face that what she is doing is wrong and that she should change her ways.

If I say to a girl instead: "I don't 'like' you because you are shy/ introvert/ insecure and/or unintelligent", will that have a positive effect on her life? Absolutely not. It could only increase the depth of her weaknesses and/or problems, after having been explicitly 'turned down' not because of outward bad behaviour but because of her internal 'weaknesses'.

And if I say to a girl: "I find you unattractive because of your physical feature x" (insert a certain hair colour, weight, body type etc.), does that have a positive effect on anything? Absolutely not. If she's a strong personality with a healthy self confidence, she'll probably say something pretty 'apt' back to me, but if she is a shy person with a low confidence, I will only have wounded her in a bad way.

So, above you can find the same 3 categories of 'turn-offs' that I listed earlier on page 3 of this thread, this time with some further explanation to accompany them.

So this is in real life, but what happens when we bring all this into an online 'community'? I personally think we should try to act the way we do in real life, say the things we could think about saying face-to-face to each other. Imagine the Christian singles ministry having a meet somewhere and us sitting face to face each other in a circle, and everyone in turn had to give their "I don't like this and that in girls/guys" lists, and look each other in the eye at the same time. Do you think you ('you' generally) would say all the same things that you say in an online community? I don't know if Jesus had romantic feelings toward women or not, but either way I think we should still try to think about "what kind of things Jesus would say" in this matter, and strive to grow according to that model ourselves. What glorifies God and has a positive effect on others?

To be honest with you, I'm having difficulty accepting your apology because I hate unneccessary hostility. But according to you, because you're sharing your feelings and experiences with me, I'm supposed to just act like nothing happened and be jolly happy again? Before you expect people to do that, it might be a good idea for you to think before you post (since this is a forum).

Normally, I don't let people get to me on this forum. But in this case, it's hard to let go and be a sister to you. But I know why that is and it's something only God can help me with.

So, I think it's best to take a step back from this discussion with you.

What I don't apologize at all, is the point that I just made in this post. But what I do feel bad about is the way I reacted and the way I channeled it at first entirely toward you and your post, when I think what I actually wanted to say was something more general in nature. But I think I learned something, I've been thinking things over now and after all this I think I've personally made a certain "never do this again" decision about something. No matter how much I think I was able to make a point in the end, I did screw up about something else in the process.

Who's the dude in your avatar? For some reason I keep on thinking he's a KKK member or something.

Hahaha! You'll find an adress if you move your mouse above the avatar! "KKK", btw, are the initials of the Scout club of my hometown, so not completely miss-shot after all...

Btw, it's absolutely fantastic how I've got a new nickname 'Suo' here now, as it's a distinct Finnish word and has a totally different meaning from 'Suomipoika'!

we all ove you suo!!

No, don't worry, you don't owe me anything... Haha, I just had to do that, sorry!

 

[Keri]

cool, but i can't read Finnish.

 

[Suomipoika]

cool, but i can't read Finnish.

Here: http://efe.scape.net/

Try out keywords "suo", "suomi" and "poika".

 

[Braticus]

Interesting thread, as usual Keri!

These are some things that are turn offs to me:
poor grammar
unmotivated
egotistical
eccentric
unbeliever
poor hygiene
chews tabacco (so much worse than smoking)
....I'm sure that there are plenty more, but these ones really get me!

 

[Keri]

Thanks Jillian! I like to try to mix things up here on CF. Glad to see you post. I've been missing you!

Have a great day!

 

[joanna1]

smoking.
comments on women walking by.
bad hygiene.
lack of purpose and ambition.

 

[ImperialPhantom]

Turnoffs:

No butt
Scrawny legs
Laziness
Entirely emotion-based faith
She's 21 or up and doesn't drink
Disdain for sports
Unsupportive, unloving
Short hair
Too skinny or too fat in general
No sense of humor and doesn't get sarcasm

 

[Im_A]

Turnoffs:

No butt
Scrawny legs
Laziness
Entirely emotion-based faith
She's 21 or up and doesn't drink
Disdain for sports
Unsupportive, unloving
Short hair
Too skinny or too fat in general
No sense of humor and doesn't get sarcasm

Girls, just a quick note to tell you that I don't have one millimetre of respect for this kind of 'listing' from the side of us Christian guys, either. Just plain sick and pathetic from you, IP. Especially the 3rd one of these, "She's 21 or up and doesn't drink". You should be ashamed.

there's nothing to be ashamed by with that list. that list is important to IP, and IP is bluntly honest about what his turnoffs are.

what is wrong with having specific likeness to certain body types? at least he's honest in what he wants physically in a woman instead of trying to play some fantasy idea that just isn't realistic. is it soooooo "un-Christian" to have a specific desire with the one you want to spend the rest of your life for them to be a specific body type? there's nothing based in lust with that.

what is wrong with having someone that does enjoy to drink? drinking can be a very good thing for relationships and can be an important thing to experience life with. to have a night of going out and having some good wine, some good beer together.

and why did you pick 5 out of his list when there is 10 others one to pick out?

IP

always love the blunt honesty bro. and might i add, good list

 

[Suomipoika]

See my last post which is on the previous page, I think. Guys, you can't call yourselves gentlemen and write such carnal 'lists'of our girls! Christian guys! But really, see my better-articulated post on previous page.
And I don't take one word back from this.

And why did I pick these 5 of them? Well I picked the ones that can easily OFFEND the reader!!!!

 

[Braticus]

Thanks Jillian! I like to try to mix things up here on CF. Glad to see you post. I've been missing you!

Have a great day!

Aww thanks, I've been attempting to do my school work recently. I know that I'm totally addicted to CF, so I try to limit my time! But it doesn't always work! lol

 

[Im_A]

See my last post which is on the previous page, I think. Guys, you can't call yourselves gentlemen and write such carnal 'lists'of our girls! Christian guys! But really, see my better-articulated post on previous page.
And I don't take one word back from this.

And why did I pick these 5 of them? Well I picked the ones that can easily OFFEND the reader!!!!

what is so carnal about IP's post?

he was honest about what he likes.

so are you turned on by all types of bodies of woman to where you can yourself a fairytale gentleman that finds no women sexually unattractive?

a gentleman is not someone who lies to please the ears of others. a gentleman is how one treats someone and there is no sign in IP's post of how he treats someone to judge him as someone who isn't a gentleman.

all it is, is him being honest about what he wants. don't know why the likes of you have to get all upset because of honesty and just a Christian guy just being honest instead of all the other Christian men who hide behind fairytale ideas of either one, why they are with their woman, or two, what they are turned off or on by.

 

[Suomipoika]

Read My Post On Previous Page And Think About How To Act In A Christ-like Manner When Talking About Girls, In General. Period.

 

[JonMiller]

I think that honesty is an important beginning. To not be honest is to be a hypocrite... which makes it much more difficult for God to help you.

Being Christian does mean following Christ though, so that means that we should be wanting to be closer to Him.

Be that as it may, I don't see that much wrong with IP's post, and definitely think it was OK to post it. I personally would not have some of those turnoffs, but he was being honest, and it does show who he would be happier with... which is important. And yes, that can include looks and other behaviors.

I don't think he listed anything that was a straight out sin, I mean, it isn't like he said he wanted a woman who was bi or who wanted to swing.

JM

 

[Braticus]

Read My Post On Previous Page And Think About How To Act In A Christ-like Manner When Talking About Girls, In General. Period.

Amen Brother!

Here's a trunoff, being treated like a possession!

And IP, I am just kinda curious why it is good for a girl to drink? I occasionally have a social drink, but I'd be completely happy to live without alcohol for the rest of my life. So why is that a turnoff?

 

[Keri]

Girls, just a quick note to tell you that I don't have one millimetre of respect for this kind of 'listing' from the side of us Christian guys, either. Just plain sick and pathetic from you, IP. Especially the 3rd one of these, "She's 21 or up and doesn't drink". You should be ashamed.

As much as I agree with you on this, I must say that I did ask what people's turnoffs are... and I did say it can be anything, physical, personality based or a habit. He had every right to list what he listed because it was in context of the topic. I'm not saying I like what he wrote, but he did nothing wrong by being honest with his reply on what turns him off.