Trying to find a Christian wife

[Godlovesmetwo]

btw, the only divorce in our family is a brother who married someone 15 years his junior. Only lasted 5 years.

 

[timewerx]

so in your case, you might need to widen your horizon for the possibility of a serious Christian. Just making conversation here.

My last GF several years ago was a Christian. I didn't have problems with her religion-wise because she didn't take religion very seriously.

But I always had problems with Christians who take the religion or the denomination very seriously. The problem is their persistence of trying to get you into their side....I've been on their side for 20 years man and found fatal flaws in their beliefs and I'm not going back again. If I do, I'd only be pretending.

....Imagine if you were married to that. Naturally, they would also want someone to talk to who can reciprocate their beliefs.....I cannot provide that and it would be quite frustrating to that person.

I used to have friends who are serious Christians but they are not my friends anymore. My parents are serious Christians and are always concerned and frustrated about me all the time. At times I had to pretend so I don't worry them too much. Because they believe I'm going to hell if I don't change.

I've seen it, lived with it for a long time. I most certainly don't want to get married to it!

 

[Godlovesmetwo]

My last GF several years ago was a Christian. I didn't have problems with her religion-wise because she didn't take religion very seriously.

But I always had problems with Christians who take the religion or the denomination very seriously. The problem is their persistence of trying to get you into their side....I've been on their side for 20 years man and found fatal flaws in their beliefs and I'm not going back again. If I do, I'd only be pretending.

....Imagine if you were married to that. Naturally, they would also want someone to talk to who can reciprocate their beliefs.....I cannot provide that.

I used to have friends who are serious Christians but they are not my friends anymore. My parents are serious Christians and are always concerned and frustrated about me all the time. At times I had to pretend so I don't worry them too much. Because they believe I'm going to hell if I don't change.

I've seen it, lived with it for a long time. I most certainly don't want to get married to it!

OK fair enough timewerx. In that case I'd be thinking of the advantages of your current situation. You are not in an unhappy marriage. You are not divorced with only weekend rights to see kids. My single brother is actually quite happy being single. he spends all his free time on Church related activities and evangelising. if that's not your style (its not mine either), focus your energy on a passionate hobby. Mine happens to be writing and I aim to improve that on here. I'm just trying to be helpful but I guess you've had enough "help" in the last few years. Good luck timewerx. Its not all bad.

 

[Godlovesmetwo]

but you need to get away from your parents asap timewerx

 

[timewerx]

OK fair enough timewerx. In that case I'd be thinking of the advantages of your current situation. You are not in an unhappy marriage. You are not divorced with only weekend rights to see kids. My single brother is actually quite happy being single. he spends all his free time on Church related activities and evangelising. if that's not your style (its not mine either), focus your energy on a passionate hobby. Mine happens to be writing and I aim to improve that on here. I'm just trying to be helpful but I guess you've had enough "help" in the last few years. Good luck timewerx. Its not all bad.

Thanks man! I do have a 'passionate' hobby just don't have much free time for it right now. But I'm definitely getting back to it once I have more free time.

I'm trying to invent something. It's supposed to be an air-conditioning/cooling unit that could promise far better efficiency and far less operation costs than current best technology. It's all theory for now and still working on it whenever I have time for it.

Anyway, I still want to get married someday just not with someone who is very active in the church due to my negative experiences with such Christians in the past. Their attempts to "save me" because I choose to believe something different is ironically, driving me crazy.

I understand their good intentions and not wanting me to go to hell, believe me, I just couldn't take much of it anymore.

And didn't the Bible say if anyone refuses your teaching, you should leave them alone?? It's in Matthew 10:14! A LOT of Christians seem ignorant of that teaching and doesn't care how people might suffer of their annoying persistence despite their good intentions.

I hope I don't insult anyone but only telling the truth. Sometimes, in our persistence to snatch people out of hell might just lead to their undoing. It's not uncommon, believe me.

 

[timewerx]

but you need to get away from your parents asap timewerx

I would have if I could. I just couldn't afford it at the moment. I currently have a full time job but I'm only starting so it's not much money.

But pretending works for now. I've been pretending for years. It doesn't bother me so far and I really don't have any choice. I tried telling the truth before but my parents couldn't handle the truth about myself and the things I believe in Christianity. They're old so I couldn't risk it and beside, remember what Matthew 10:14 said.

Even if I leave my parents later and live on my own, I will won't able to tell them the truth about me. I would still keep pretending so I don't cause them any hurt which would be bad in their old age.

 

[Godlovesmetwo]

I currently have a full time job but I'm only starting so it's not much money.

well, save as much as you can, with a Plan B to escape with say a couple of thousand bucks at least.
I'm definitely a "what if" worst case scenario person. So what if you become homeless. people have bounced back from that before. Sometimes you have to reach rock bottom in order to climb all the way back. just hope you don't have to reach rock bottom. I'd be tryin to network with people you can trust. Unfort. for you, it might in the Christian Church context. I'm just playing with ideas here. Just feel its not the end of the road. You can bounce back from this. You are resilient.

 

[Godlovesmetwo]

I'm trying to invent something. It's supposed to be an air-conditioning/cooling unit that could promise far better efficiency and far less operation costs than current best technology. It's all theory for now and still working on it whenever I have time for it.

youre an' engineer for goodness sake'
you are probably ahead of your time

 

[essentialsaltes]

I don't know if I'm posting this in the right place, but here it goes. I'm a 40 year old guy that is really trying to find the right woman for me. I'm not your typical 9 to 5 kind of guy. My passion is playing music for a living (metal)

I'm looking for a woman who is a devout Christian like myself

Anyone have any thoughts?

I went to high school in Orange County in the 1980s, so when you say devout Christian and metal, all I can think is Stryper, who are apparently still together (or together again). I assume there are Christian metal groups that have fans with a younger average age than Stryper probably does. Anyway, the point is these groups must have groupies who are women, who are devout Christians, who are interested in metal, and maybe particularly interested in musicians as love interests.

Join some fanclubs and facebook groups
Start interacting, and focus on the music and the band for Pete's sake, because if you try to use a fanclub as a dating site, it will be a failure. Don't just focus on the women, just be a member of the community.
In time, you'll find the people (men and women) who have very similar interests to you. Congrats, you now have some online friends. You may now begin using winky emojis and lightly flirting with ladies that interest you.
If something clicks, and she's in Walla Walla or Miami, well, I know where you should aim your tour.

If that takes too much time and effort, you can always get a mail order bride from the Philippines.

 

[ImAllLikeOkWaitWat]

If that takes too much time and effort, you can always get a mail order bride from the Philippines.

How much do these run for nowadays? Also I think I might be interested in one of those russian brides.

 

[timewerx]

well, save as much as you can, with a Plan B to escape with say a couple of thousand bucks at least.
I'm definitely a "what if" worst case scenario person. So what if you become homeless. people have bounced back from that before. Sometimes you have to reach rock bottom in order to climb all the way back. just hope you don't have to reach rock bottom. I'd be tryin to network with people you can trust. Unfort. for you, it might in the Christian Church context. I'm just playing with ideas here. Just feel its not the end of the road. You can bounce back from this. You are resilient.

Things have been batter lately. I think I could hang tight for another year. I'm pretty good when it comes to saving money though since I have very little to spend on anyway I just don't make enough right now.

Anyway, I don't think people usually bounce back from homeless, maybe in some places. It's almost unheard of where I live so I wouldn't go that route.

And back to topic, religious demands can be a red flag to me. Even being Christian may not be enough, you have to be under the same denomination too. Else, there might be some serious problems in the relationship later on. Christian is fine, just not too serious or uptight about it.

 

[ImAllLikeOkWaitWat]

And back to topic, religious demands can be a red flag to me. Even being Christian may not be enough, you have to be under the same denomination too. Else, there might be some serious problems in the relationship later on. Christian is fine, just not too serious or uptight about it.

I'd want someone on fire for the Lord but someone who is open minded and flexible, and not someone so uptight and rigid in their behavior and beliefs. It's kind of hard to find such a person because a lot of serious christians aren't open to ideas and can be very strict and rigid and demand too many things done in a certain way.

 

[timewerx]

I'd want someone on fire for the Lord but someone who is open minded and flexible, and not someone so uptight and rigid in their behavior and beliefs. It's kind of hard to find such a person because a lot of serious christians aren't open to ideas and can be very strict and rigid and demand too many things done in a certain way.

It limits my options to not-so-serious Christians or Atheists. I think there's a lot of them out there.

But as long as she is empathetic, decent, understanding, among other things, that is fine with me.

 

[ImAllLikeOkWaitWat]

It limits my options to not-so-serious Christians or Atheists. I think there's a lot of them out there.

But as long as she is empathetic, decent, understanding, among other things, that is fine with me.

Yeah I'm finding christian women especially on here to be very strict to the point where I don't see how life can be enjoyable when you are so serious all the time. Some just need to relax and take it easy ya know, whatever happens happens. I might have to do like you and branch out to women of other faiths, because as much as I would like a christian woman, I can't deal with the type who is very rigid in their thinking and so stuck in their way of thinking they can't see any other view point. So I guess when one says they want a christian woman, casual christian is good as far as getting some one more laid back and flexible, but I still want someone with a passion for the lord, yet not super serious all the time.

 

[timewerx]

Yeah I'm finding christian women especially on here to be very strict to the point where I don't see how life can be enjoyable when you are so serious all the time. Some just need to relax and take it easy ya know, whatever happens happens. I might have to do like you and branch out to women of other faiths, because as much as I would like a christian woman, I can't deal with the type who is very rigid in their thinking and so stuck in their way of thinking they can't see any other view point. So I guess when one says they want a christian woman, casual christian is good as far as getting some one more laid back and flexible, but I still want someone with a passion for the lord, yet not super serious all the time.

The biggest problem is when they fall in love with you....

....And then they make it their life's mission to ensure both of you didn't end up in hell....Ironically turning your life on Earth a living hell in the process.

I actually take Christianity very seriously I just don't don't impose it on others. I'm sensitive enough to feel that they don't want it and I will back out of it completely.

 

[ImAllLikeOkWaitWat]

I actually take Christianity very seriously I just don't don't impose it on others. I'm sensitive enough to feel that they don't want it and I will back out of it completely.

But I'm also sure you would prefer to be able to share your christian experience with a potential spouse, where as if they are atheist, such a thing would be impossible. But I do agree that finding the right type of christian wife seems very difficult mainly because there are many type of christian women out there, with vastly different views of christianity. So it's not as simple as saying I'm going to marry a christian because well that means many different things to many different people, and there are many different types. I really would like to marry someone christian, but I do know there are even some pastors with atheist spouses so it's possible, but I think the difficulty of being in a marriage with a nonbeliever could be just as problematic as being in a relationship with a christian who tries to force their beliefs on you and isn't open to the possibility they could be wrong, which all christians need to be if they are to be honest.

 

[Godlovesmetwo]

....And then they make it their life's mission to ensure both of you didn't end up in hell....Ironically turning your life on Earth a living hell in the process.

 

[timewerx]

But I'm also sure you would prefer to be able to share your christian experience with a potential spouse, where as if they are atheist, such a thing would be impossible. But I do agree that finding the right type of christian wife seems very difficult mainly because there are many type of christian women out there, with vastly different views of christianity. So it's not as simple as saying I'm going to marry a christian because well that means many different things to many different people, and there are many different types. I really would like to marry someone christian, but I do know there are even some pastors with atheist spouses so it's possible, but I think the difficulty of being in a marriage with a nonbeliever could be just as problematic as being in a relationship with a christian who tries to force their beliefs on you and isn't open to the possibility they could be wrong, which all christians need to be if they are to be honest.

I actually find it easier to relate with someone who had weak religious attachments, regardless of the religion and even if Atheists.

As long as they live responsibly, decent, courteous, empathetic, understanding, and modest then there won't be any problems. I won't actually feel frustrated not able to share my beliefs if they have such qualities and it may not even be necessary.

 

[drummingman]

The bible tells us not to be unequally yoked. So the woman I marry has to be a Christian. I want her to take her faith in God seriously. But God does not want us to be a stiff with no sense of humor. So I don't want a woman like that either.

I just hope I can find the right woman before I'm 80 and can't remember my own name, much less hers!

 

[essentialsaltes]

Maybe you need marriage agency?

So many people eager to help!