Trust

[Sapphyre]

This may not be the correct forum for this... I apologize if I've mis-posted!

Very recently I've realized the reason I find myself feeling lonely and without any people to really turn to when I need a good friend, is because I've developed some pretty serious trust issues.

I never thought about it before, but when I look back at the last few years, I've been betrayed by people many, many times - Christians included. I've been very hurt by these people. Most I had known for quite some time (anywhere from 2-10 years) before said betrayal, which I think only makes matters worse. It almost seems like I have this instinct now not to trust anyone, because apparently it really doesn't matter how well you know a person, or how long - they can turn on you at any time.

I know all of this sounds incredibly bitter and cynical, and that's why I'm reaching out about this. I really want to change this part of myself. I miss having those close friendships. I know that betrayal in life is inevitable, and actually pretty much guaranteed once you let other less than perfect people into your own less than perfect life, but there's got to be a way to grow and overcome those instances that doesn't involve shying away from everyone.

I guess I just would like to hear from any of you who have experienced similar situations, and how you got through it. I've been praying hard about this for a while now, and I believe God is calling and challenging me to trust people again. But it's so hard. I start to reach out, start to reveal a personal bit of information, start to do anything, and I just freeze and back out...

Thanks for any advice.

 

[sirender]

When your relationship with the Lord grows to an extent that HIS presence with you is greater than the presence of others around you, you will have begun to see the light at the end of the tunnel for HE alone is FOREVER FAITHFUL. PERIOD.

 

[wpage]

In God we trust!

 

[Sapphyre]

Thanks. Yes, I am certainly working to grow my faith and trust in God until I get to that point.

I also know community with other people here on earth is important, too, and don't want to miss out on the support and wisdom fellowship provides.

 

[sirender]

Thanks. Yes, I am certainly working to grow my faith and trust in God until I get to that point.

I also know community with other people here on earth is important, too, and don't want to miss out on the support and wisdom fellowship provides.

With the Lord you NEVER miss out on anything cuz HE WILL get to you what HE wants you to have.

The best way to grow your faith is to let GOD be the AUTHOR and the FINISHER of your faith.

Let go and let GOD.

Thank you, JESUS!!
---

Hebrews 12:1-2
The Race of Faith

1 Therefore we also, since we are surrounded by so great a cloud of witnesses, let us lay aside every weight, and the sin which so easily ensnares us, and let us run with endurance the race that is set before us, 2 looking unto Jesus, the author and finisher of our faith, who for the joy that was set before Him endured the cross, despising the shame, and has sat down at the right hand of the throne of God.

1 Peter 5:6-7
6 Therefore humble yourselves under the mighty hand of God, that He may exalt you in due time, 7 casting all your care upon Him, for He cares for you.

Ephesians 2:8-10
8 For by grace you have been saved through faith, and that not of yourselves; it is the gift of God, 9 not of works, lest anyone should boast. 10 For we are His workmanship, created in Christ Jesus for good works, which God prepared beforehand that we should walk in them.

Ephesians 1:3-6
3 Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, who has blessed us with every spiritual blessing in the heavenly places in Christ, 4 just as He chose us in Him before the foundation of the world, that we should be holy and without blame before Him in love, 5 having predestined us to adoption as sons by Jesus Christ to Himself, according to the good pleasure of His will, 6 to the praise of the glory of His grace, by which He made us accepted in the Beloved.

 

[sirender]

It is not about trusting people (for all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God) rather the focus needs to be in TRUSTING THE LORD through JESUS CHRIST! GOD is LOVE.

 

[NoelAsa]

I also have the same issues that you do with betrayal, for the exact same reasons. I have two books to suggest that you read. They are both by Christian authors.
Approval Addiction by Joyce Meyer
Boundaries, When to Say YES, When to Say NO, To Take Control of Your Life by Dr. Henry Cloud and Dr. John Townsend.

I am still a work in progress. Making changes in your life and behavior can take years, but you can make the changes to make a better life for yourself. I have used the information in these books to help me, but I have slipped up. However, I know when I slip up and what to do. If you don't want to buy the books they will probably be at your local library. There were bestsellers and most libraries should have them.

 

[Jim2011]

I can understand what your feeling....sort of....
I am chronicly shy and dreadfully introverted....Gee I could be a hermit.
Hopefully God will help us to get beyond our problems.
Nice to find a other questor.

Jim

 

[Zebra1552]

Find a Christian counselor and a pastor and start meeting with them.

 

[paul1149]

Sapphyre,

Consider him who endured from sinners such hostility against himself, so that you may not grow weary or fainthearted. -Heb 12:3​

I would say to, above all, let betrayals drive you to God for comfort and perspective. Sometimes we can react to them by closing off even God (especially when it is Christians who have done the betraying), but that's a disaster for ourselves. Instead, our relationship with Him can become more intimate, as we partake in the same sufferings He experienced. Drawing on His strength, we become conformed to His image (2cor 3.18). And if we trust Him when human relationships fail, we come out better, not bitter: stronger, able to relate to people in a more mature and healthy way.