traumatic separation feedback advice

[Leanna]

Even if you begin living together again get counseling. Keep on going to counseling. You may each also need individual counseling.

 

[den2004]

We will see what happens. Way ahead on the counselling thing, $1000 spent on my son, 2 workshops $1500 for me in last 2 months (since separation) . These were high caliber counselling/workshops. Wife has had none, still in denial.
So we will see what happens since my son and I are not going through this again. We just have to do things Godly, don't play the victim, and take personal reponsibility and we christians can learn to not react with evil thoughts in these situations where anger is acted out in a extreme manner. Die to Self, ring any bells? I know God deserves and gets the credit credit for intervening in this situation.

God Bless

Dennis

 

[den2004]

Thank you for everyone who prayed for me and our family. My wife and I reconciled. Everyone at our church, friends, know it was a miracle. We would never have reconciled if we had not allowed God to direct us. So many good meaning friends and relatives giving advise that is not based on scripture.
I look back now and thank God for not letting me do what I felt at the time. Anger, and even Hate towards my wife. God never said anything in the bible about if you did not love your wife anymore you could get a divorce. We have had a couple of arguements since we have reconcilled but one of us always reminds the other about using communications skills to defuse and discuss before getting to emotional.
We are going to another couples workshop next few weeks. First time I have been to a 1200 member church...awesome services they have in south usa. I have also edited and removed alot of personal stuff from my previous posts that my wife would not appreciate (does not honor wife). The ones who prayed and read them know how serious the situation was.
There is always 3 sides in any marriage, if we can all learn to be empathatic and compassionate as christians our marriages will work. I really believe that the only way we can grow emotionally and be tested as christians is when we our in a marriage relationship. Our true nature, our childhood flaws, how grounded wqe are as christians, come out.
Its all about personal responsibility. Men love their wives as christ loved the church ( men are you ready to die literally for your wife 100% of the time?). Wives to respect their husbands.

We have a Awesome God! God bless each and everyone of you! Amen!

 

[bkg]

Thank you for everyone who prayed for me and our family. My wife and I reconciled.

Praise God! That is Great and wonderful news! Keep your focus on God and (as you said) love your wife and you will enjoy many happy years together. I'm very excited for you! Congrats!
bkg

 

[mghalpern]

Thank you for everyone who prayed for me and our family. My wife and I reconciled. Everyone at our church, friends, know it was a miracle. We would never have reconciled if we had not allowed God to direct us.

So many good meaning friends and relatives giving advise that is not based on scripture.

I look back now and thank God for not letting me do what I felt at the time. Anger, and even Hate towards my wife. God never said anything in the bible about if you did not love your wife anymore you could get a divorce. We have had a couple of arguements since we have reconcilled but one of us always reminds the other about using communications skills to defuse and discuss before getting to emotional.

We are going to another couples workshop next few weeks. First time I have been to a 1200 member church...awesome services they have in south usa. I have also edited and removed alot of personal stuff from my previous posts that my wife would not appreciate (does not honor wife). The ones who prayed and read them know how serious the situation was.

There is always 3 sides in any marriage, if we can all learn to be empathatic and compassionate as christians our marriages will work. I really believe that the only way we can grow emotionally and be tested as christians is when we our in a marriage relationship. Our true nature, our childhood flaws, how grounded wqe are as christians, come out.

Its all about personal responsibility. Men love their wives as christ loved the church ( men are you ready to die literally for your wife 100% of the time?). Wives to respect their husbands.



We have a Awesome God! God bless each and everyone of you! Amen!

What a beautiful testimony of what God wants to do in all of our broken marriages. He truly is the God of restoration and He still does miracles. I am so happy for you, your wife, and your child. Please stand (& pray) with "bkg" and me for our broken marriages. I too have many well-meaning Christian friends who have also suggested divorce, and to move on. Thankfully, many are “man” and “woman” enough to admit that they can’t back this up with scripture, yet in their human wisdom and in the hurt they feel for me, they have given ungodly advice. All too often, we do what we “feel” is right, not necessarily what God says is right. We are emotional beings, so the Lord gave us a spirit that is to be in alignment with His Holy Spirit (H. S., our spirit, soul, then body). We can, through the H. S., control our soul (emotions, thoughts, and will) if we will only submit them to God. We have to take up our cross and die to our flesh daily. Empathy and compassion are two of the most important things we can offer another person to create understanding and the Word of God tell us (especially husbands) to live with our wife with understanding. I don’t necessarily agree that the true test of our walk can only be tested in marriage, but I will agree that this is the closest we come to iron sharpening iron. I totally believe that, in marriage, our true nature, our childhood flaws, and how grounded we are as Christians will definitely be exposed in a marital relationship. If we would only see the brokenness in each other, we would probably have a lot more grace, mercy, empathy, and compassion for one another and we would persevere in our marriages, rather than run from them. You are absolutely right about personal responsibility. This is ultimately where the “rubber meets the road.” Very often in counseling, we are only to speak with one spouse and the most we can offer is to encourage them to personal responsibility. The Lord is not going to ask me why my wife did/n’t do this or that, He is going to ask ME why I did/n’t do this or that. The bottom line is…He is concerned with OUR personal responsibility. And yes…WE DO HAVE AN AWESOME GOD!!! I am most thankful to our Heavenly Father for once again showing His faithfulness to His children…Michael