Toxic Masculinity Vs Toxic Femininity

[Skye1300]

The thing is though, it appears that doing "manly" things, like fixing trucks, being a gun owner, etc etc, is what society is seen as masculine. But if you're not doing these things, it's not masculine?

Back in the day, if a man cried or showed his feelings, it was considered un-manly, so is it considered still un-manly to show your emotions these days?

No it's not unmanly to show emotions or for a man to cry. Crying and emotions are natural.

 

[Skye1300]

I think many are missing the point. It isn't that all these "manly" things are or are not masculine. Not all men enjoy such things, and they are just as much a man as those who do. The issue is the use of a label like "toxic masculinity" to demonize ANYTHING a person or group of people doesn't like.

Those for gun control would say my collecting guns and advocating it as a manly pleasure of mine, and bringing my son up to know, shoot, and enjoy firearms is "toxic masculinity". When in truth, it is about self protection, gun rights, property rights, and crisis preparedness.

Those who support PETA would argue that my hunting and raising my boy to hunt is "toxic masculinity". When in truth, it's about sportsmanship, skill, and self provision.

Those feminist extremists might accuse me of "toxic masculinity" for raising my son to value fatherhood, being the head of his home, protecting his wife and children, as being "toxic masculinity". When in truth, I'm just a conservative traditionalist Catholic, and that is the historical Christian teaching on the matter.

Anti-American liberals might accuse me of "toxic masculinity" for raising my son to love the flag, honor his country, and desire to serve in the military or serve his community in a civilian capacity. When in truth, it is simply what I believe to be the highest calling of a citizen who owes so much to this great country for the privilege we've enjoyed by living in the land of the free.

ANYTHING that men traditionally do and have enjoyed is often LABELED "toxic masculinity" by left-wing, man-bun wearing, tofu eating, male-feminists, as being "toxic masculinity".

While I'm sure "experts" are more likely targeting abuse, violence, and misogyny... there are entire swaths of society that take this label and run with it by labeling ALL traditional masculine roles, pursuits, or interests they disdain, based on some liberal bent or heterophobic impulse, "toxic masculinity".

There definitely is such a thing as male toxicity. But the foot soldiers from the darkened kingdom of the left are throwing the label around to demonize anyone who isn't aligned with their socially liberal agenda to feminize men.

P.S.
I think it is healthy for men to learn how to show their emotions. And it is healthy and even necessary to cry. I told my son the key is time, place, and audience. There are appropriate times, places, and people to open up around. And then there are not. Knowing the proper context in which to be emotional is key to maintaining your dignity, humanity, and self-respect.

I'm vegan, but I personally would not call hunting and owning guns etc toxic masculinity. There are straight women who hunt and own guns too. To me that's a life style choice. Now factory farming which has nothing to do with gender is the bigger issue and what I consider toxic and that bothers me much more than a few men or women hunting a few animals. But I wouldn't call a man who hunts or fish toxic. Just like I wouldn't call a man who boxes/fights professionally or plays football toxic. I wouldn't call a man who cries or is vegan feminine either. I'm vegan but I'm not a feminist.

 

[ThisIsMe123]

There was a topic on the radio where the host was reading of some current events topics/questions. And one of the questions was what is the most dangerous personality trait these days.

Answer: A man that's broke and alone.
The lady co-host agreed and expounded, "toxic masculinity" and "incels"

 

[ThisIsMe123]

I was in the military. I made a commitment and served. Put my life on the line. I’d have willingly died before breaking that commitment. Few women can even process that full measure of devotion.

Something that I've noticed, statistically, that most military marriages...women married to military men, had bad marriages that typically involved abuse and infidelity on the man's part. Not saying all men in the military are like this, but I know quite a few women that avoid dating military men for this reason, esp. if they'd been in an abusive marriage to a military man.

 

[Paidiske]

There's a really well-researched book out, called Men Who Hate Women, by Laura Bates. It looks at incels, pick up artists, MGTOW, men's rights activists, misogynistic online trolls, online extremism and its effects on teenagers, domestic and public violence against women, and the commonalities and connections between them, as well as how they might be addressed. I'd heartily recommend it for anyone wanting to get a good grip on the topic of "toxic masculinity."

A quote from the introduction: "Those who speak of 'toxic masculinity' are not criticising men, but rather defending them: describing an ideology and a system that pressures boys and men in our societies, in our families, to conform to unrealistic, unhealthy and unsustainable ideals. Crushing gender stereotypes are damaging to men as individuals, as well as to the society in which they live. Tackling this problem, dismantling these pressures, is a matter of life and death for our boys. They are toppling like dominoes into the chasm we leave behind when we tiptoe around and refuse to name the problem."

 

[ThisIsMe123]

There's a really well-researched book out, called Men Who Hate Women, by Laura Bates. It looks at incels, pick up artists, MGTOW, men's rights activists, misogynistic online trolls, online extremism and its effects on teenagers, domestic and public violence against women, and the commonalities and connections between them, as well as how they might be addressed. I'd heartily recommend it for anyone wanting to get a good grip on the topic of "toxic masculinity."

A quote from the introduction: "Those who speak of 'toxic masculinity' are not criticising men, but rather defending them: describing an ideology and a system that pressures boys and men in our societies, in our families, to conform to unrealistic, unhealthy and unsustainable ideals. Crushing gender stereotypes are damaging to men as individuals, as well as to the society in which they live. Tackling this problem, dismantling these pressures, is a matter of life and death for our boys. They are toppling like dominoes into the chasm we leave behind when we tiptoe around and refuse to name the problem."

Oh yea, indeed. Also then there's "red pill". Not that I condone toxic behavior or anything. Back in my early 30s, I caught up with an old college friend....we were both struggling with dating. In his early 20s he kept running into women that were knocked up with little kids all the time. Instant deal breaker, and but we were talking about our dating woes and frustrations, per normal like everyone does.

He introduced me to some MGTOW movement site. After reading it for a time, I was in agreement with a lot of men. I mean..it's typical, but some dudes there...with what they wrote, was down right disturbing. It was kind of a train wreck where you couldn't look away at times. A disturbing rabbit hole.

 

[Citizen of the Kingdom]

No it's not unmanly to show emotions or for a man to cry. Crying and emotions are natural.

Crying and anger seem to stem from the same place, but are represented by the other as a manipulation tool. Yet when comparing apples to oranges or bananas to pineapples, if the correlation is missing then the reason is usually found in the commonalities, if there are any to be found. The same can be said for prophesies of the OT. They couldn’t see the forest for the trees. When presented with revelation of future events they failed to see the church age, therefore not rightly dividing the word.
12It was revealed to them that they were not serving themselves, but you,when they foretold the things now announced by
those who preached the gospel to you by the Holy Spirit sent from heaven. Even angels long to look into these things.

 

[Citizen of the Kingdom]

There was a topic on the radio where the host was reading of some current events topics/questions. And one of the questions was what is the most dangerous personality trait these days.

Answer: A man that's broke and alone.
The lady co-host agreed and expounded, "toxic masculinity" and "incels"

What does that mean to people who don’t follow the latest buzzwords?

 

[Citizen of the Kingdom]

There's a really well-researched book out, called Men Who Hate Women, by Laura Bates. It looks at incels, pick up artists, MGTOW, men's rights activists, misogynistic online trolls, online extremism and its effects on teenagers, domestic and public violence against women, and the commonalities and connections between them, as well as how they might be addressed. I'd heartily recommend it for anyone wanting to get a good grip on the topic of "toxic masculinity."

A quote from the introduction: "Those who speak of 'toxic masculinity' are not criticising men, but rather defending them: describing an ideology and a system that pressures boys and men in our societies, in our families, to conform to unrealistic, unhealthy and unsustainable ideals. Crushing gender stereotypes are damaging to men as individuals, as well as to the society in which they live. Tackling this problem, dismantling these pressures, is a matter of life and death for our boys. They are toppling like dominoes into the chasm we leave behind when we tiptoe around and refuse to name the problem."

Another good book is “women who love too much .... and the men who hate them” Again, don’t judge a book by it’s cover

 

[Citizen of the Kingdom]

Trust is a topic that deems discussing imo, safety in one’s own home should be a guarantee for all. Living with the enemy is not considered defendable. Trust broken is the leading cause of divorce.

 

[JimR-OCDS]

Uhm, I believe "rape," is against the law and condemned by most of society.

If men were out to oppress women, why would they have come up with a law against it ?

 

[JimR-OCDS]

BTW, I've been married for 48 years and my wife and myself dated of and on since we were 15 years old.

In our marriage, we are both equal. However, equality doesn't mean who has the higher income or who stays home to raise children and do housework. The equality we have is that everything we have is both of ours and what we do is for our family. My wife stayed home with our two kids and I worked and had to fight my way up to earn enough to support my family. Today that's called toxic masculinity because somehow I kept my wife home to do the house work. That was far from reality. I too did house work and I did the other chores, like auto maintenance and yard work that my wife could not do. I also painted the outside of the house and did the remodeling inside. My wife did her part in the chores that were required to keep the house hold running. It is not a 50-50
partnership, but 100-100. Everything I have and everything she has is both of ours. We don't hold secrets from each other and are 100% honest about every aspect of our lives.

What I see in this thread and in society in general is toxic resentment. People are not looking for equality and justice, but revenge, based on a delusion. It's the most toxic ideology to ever happen in modern society and is anti-Judeo/Christian beliefs. Today young people are not being taught that what they have evolved out of the Judeo/Christian belief in individual freedom, which came out of the West. They don't understand that nowhere else in history did individual freedom exist except in the West.

As Douglas Murray says, the West is suffering from "a huge context collapse." There is resentment for where we are rather than gratitude because many in society have been convinced that racism and patriarchy male oppression is what's causing all of our problems.

 

[Christopher0121]

I'm still not clear, though, on what exactly you're saying "it is."

"It" is God's design for gender roles. It is what it is. I find it interesting that people don't take God seriously. The liberal mind seems to think we're able to make all this up as we go. If that's the case... WHY bother with being religious at all? This is what I have more respect for atheists than religious liberals.

Seduction is not rape, or comparable to rape.

There are many women who no doubt disagree with you, seeing how many men are accused of rape after having seduced a woman after a seemingly mutually enjoyable night on the town.

Something like 99% of rapes are committed by men. That's a gendered problem.

No doubt men are the perps of most rapes, I agree. However, I'd say that on the flip side fewer men report rape, sexual assault, stalking, and domestic violence than women. This means that the vast majority of abuse perpetuated by women upon men is unreported and below the radar.

I was speaking specifically of rape.

Rape is more than a "toxic" behavior. It is a violent crime.

Maybe some people do see being a gun owner as toxic behavior (I'm certainly no fan); but that is not the same as toxic masculinity, which is a very specific and clearly defined thing.

Guns aren't everyone's thing, and I can respect that. However, again, I've been told my being a gun owner is "toxic masculinity" over and over. I even had a person threaten to report me to CPS for a video of my 15 year old son that I took at the range firing an AR-15. lol

As far as I can find, about 20% of men and about 13% of women commit adultery. So I'd certainly deny that women cheat more than men.

I think women cheat far more than they are willing to admit. I have no doubt men can be dogs. I'm just saying the pretty little innocent stereotype females present is fantasy. Like I said... let your hair down and walk to ANY place and flirt with a couple guys...you'll be set in 10 minutes. Men... we often go weeks or longer trying to find a possible partner. I think this generally is because men aren't as picky. I wish men would become far more picky. I always hear women have a "list" of "must haves" for the men they'll be willing to date. I think that's an AWESOME idea. I just wish more men would do the same.

Do women have secrets? Sure. Are most of us keeping infidelity secret? Unlikely.

Unlikely??? LOL I think it is unlikely that a woman will be 100% honest about her infidelities and previous lovers. It's like common knowledge. lol It's not uncommon to date a woman or even get married any more and "discover" that she had a "relationship" or "hung out" with some guy you randomly meet while out and about.

That suggests that the issues are confined to marriage, but I'd say they're much broader.

It's not. As a general rule, its best if we just treat others as we'd like to be treated. To me, this covers every circumstance.

Oh good grief. Being ridiculously insulting doesn't help the discussion.

I apologize, I sincerely didn't intend to be insulting. I'm just being frank and saying... men produce masterpieces of art for women they love... they scale mountains... wage wars... write timeless love songs... fight off wild beasts... engage intruders. I simply don't think women can love men the way men love women. When a man loves a woman he desires her body, mind, and spirit. When a woman loves a man, its generally on account of the resources she can extract from him.[/QUOTE][/QUOTE]

 

[Christopher0121]

I'm vegan, but I personally would not call hunting and owning guns etc toxic masculinity. There are straight women who hunt and own guns too. To me that's a life style choice. Now factory farming which has nothing to do with gender is the bigger issue and what I consider toxic and that bothers me much more than a few men or women hunting a few animals. But I wouldn't call a man who hunts or fish toxic. Just like I wouldn't call a man who boxes/fights professionally or plays football toxic. I wouldn't call a man who cries or is vegan feminine either. I'm vegan but I'm not a feminist.

My point is that many on the left use the term "toxic male" or "toxic masculinity" to demonize anything they don't like, especially if it somehow reflects traditional Christian gender roles.

 

[Christopher0121]

There was a topic on the radio where the host was reading of some current events topics/questions. And one of the questions was what is the most dangerous personality trait these days.

Answer: A man that's broke and alone.
The lady co-host agreed and expounded, "toxic masculinity" and "incels"

Notice... the message is if a man is broke and doesn't have a woman in his life to govern him he's dangerous.

I've been single now for going on two years and I love it. I married my high school sweetheart after high school and we were married 12 years. She ended up cheating on me and told me she married too young and no longer wanted to be married. We divorced. Then I was in a long term relationship for over 13 years and this woman became violent and irrational. I left her. For the first time in my life I'm single. And I'm loving it. My bank account is fat, my car purrs like a kitten, I go anywhere I like, do anything I like, take my son anywhere I like, my home is quiet, there's NO drama, it's paradise. LOL

But according to this lady co-host... I'd be dangerous if I hit financial hard times. Hmmm. I find this funny. Because it is generally when you fall on financial hard times that women leave. Once resources cannot be extracted the female will instinctually look for a man who can provide. I'm not judging. I'm sure it is hardwired to preserve themselves and their young. I'm just sayin'.

So... I'm wondering why so many think single men are so dangerous? Why is a man's value attached to his relationship status? Why must a man have a woman in his life? Why is a man who is broke dangerous?

I would disagree with the lady co-host. I think men with serious mental problems are dangerous regardless as to if they are with a partner or not, or broke or not.

 

[Christopher0121]

Something that I've noticed, statistically, that most military marriages...women married to military men, had bad marriages that typically involved abuse and infidelity on the man's part. Not saying all men in the military are like this, but I know quite a few women that avoid dating military men for this reason, esp. if they'd been in an abusive marriage to a military man.

Hugh? Never heard, "Jody has your girl?" Never heard of the signs used in base housing that wives post visibly to signal their husband is deployed and they're up for some action? Having been in the military and deployed I can honestly say I've known COUNTLESS soldiers who came home to unfaithful wives. I've known COUNTLESS soldiers served divorce papers while deployed. I've known COUNTLESS men who have come home to pregnant wives! LOL I've seen women on facetime ranting and accusing soldiers of being unfaithful while there isn't a single female within miles of TOC. Stop and think with me. You're deployed to some mountain side base camp in Afghanistan. She's at home alone with every Tom, Dick, and Harry flirting with her. Who do YOU think is more likely to find play???

After 8 years in the Army I can count on one hand the soldiers I knew who had opportunity to be unfaithful (or so they said). Remember, it's an ego thing. Men brag about conquests that never happened in front of their buddies all the time. Also, in my unit, it was something seriously frowned upon especially if there was reason to believe it was true. In fact... it endangers the unit if you get out and flirt with the locals. So... I'm going to say that statistically... I think far more military wives are cheating than military men. The only exception would be if we broke it down into categories. Maybe men assigned to state side duty stations or bases in Europe, Japan, or a major city in the free world where where they work shifts even have an opportunity to cheat. And certainly there is the factor of being assigned to a base and not being able to bring your wife. Imagine being deployed to South Korea for 2 years and not being able to bring your wife. It's likely men are more likely to cheat in such situations. But it's a forced circumstance with high testosterone males in a high stress job thousands of miles from home. Yes, things happen. But in my experience... more soldiers deployed to combat zones discover their wives were unfaithful than are unfaithful themselves.

Yep... while you're risking life and limb in service to your country... your wife is likely to be living it up with Jody back home. Eh, it's female nature. lol

All this is so common knowledge we even sing cadences about it. LOL

 

[Christopher0121]

There's a really well-researched book out, called Men Who Hate Women, by Laura Bates. It looks at incels, pick up artists, MGTOW, men's rights activists, misogynistic online trolls, online extremism and its effects on teenagers, domestic and public violence against women, and the commonalities and connections between them, as well as how they might be addressed. I'd heartily recommend it for anyone wanting to get a good grip on the topic of "toxic masculinity."

A quote from the introduction: "Those who speak of 'toxic masculinity' are not criticising men, but rather defending them: describing an ideology and a system that pressures boys and men in our societies, in our families, to conform to unrealistic, unhealthy and unsustainable ideals. Crushing gender stereotypes are damaging to men as individuals, as well as to the society in which they live. Tackling this problem, dismantling these pressures, is a matter of life and death for our boys. They are toppling like dominoes into the chasm we leave behind when we tiptoe around and refuse to name the problem."

Well... I guess the "experts" have spoken. LOL

I disagree with hating women. Hate is unnecessary emotional baggage really.

However, in today's society I think a man is a fool if he doesn't approach women and relationships with caution (Who would disagree that women should too?). I think men have greater opportunity for happiness being single. And in my experience... such caution is justified.

I understand that the MGTOW movement doesn't recruit. In fact, they are growing because more men in their 30's, 40's, and 50's have been taken to the cleaners or devastated by women they truly loved. Groups like MGTOW affirm, build up, and strengthen men to overcome their dependency on women (and yes for many men it is a "dependency"). Such movements emphasize personal responsibility for one's life and choices. It dispels the "illusion" of hormone induced "love" and strongly encourages men to look at relationships in a manner wherein liabilities are compared to benefits. Which is exactly how women look at relationships. And rightfully so, women bear young. Their bodies, health, and perhaps their lives are on the line should they become pregnant. So, to think this way is only wise. Men can't get pregnant. However, we can stand to LOSE an exceptional amount of wealth and resources we've worked for.

I think many men marry because society teaches us that we're expected to. I think many men simply aren't ready and let's be real... many women aren't ready. I think that men should learn to be complete in themselves and should be in 100% control of their lives, desires, and life goals. And what women think about that shouldn't even be a factor, after all... it's our lives. Men need to be empowered, encouraged, strengthened to simply live life as men. Sure, men can marry if they desire. But only after SERIOUS consideration of all liabilities involved. Always get a prenup. Secure all you've worked for to ensure your assets are protected if things go south. And if she isn't supportive of that... she's clearly looking to be able to extract resources from you.

It's not hate. It's simply... business. Men should approach relationships and marriage as a business decision. It's the best way to protect themselves emotionally and financially. Take charge of your life. If a woman hates you or accuses you of hate for empowering yourself that tells you far more about her as a woman than says anything about you as a man. You have a RIGHT to be a proactive and self-preserving male who is in full control of his own life, resources, and future.

Like I said... it's simply business.

How is anything mentioned above "wrong" or "toxic"?

P.S.

I've told my daughter virtually the same thing about investing in herself and not getting dependent on men and how she needs to protect everything she's worked for and find value in herself and in her accomplishments. Funny how when we say the same things to boys or men who need to be set free from dependency on females... it's branded by a feminist, man-hating, liberal society as being "toxic" or "hate". Hmmm.

 

[Christopher0121]

In addition, the unmarried can even serve God with fewer hindrances. So, it also makes spiritual sense to encourage more men to refuse relationships with women and embrace singlehood as a life of devotion towards God. St. Paul wrote...

I Corinthians 7:32
New Catholic Bible
32 It is my wish that you be free of all anxieties. An unmarried man devotes himself to the Lord’s affairs and is concerned as to how he can please the Lord.​

Honestly, I think we need a revival of manhood and male empowerment. If more men were secure in themselves and their faith... you'd see fewer men falling apart emotionally and doing terrible things in society.

 

[Wolseley]

Aquila, I can relate to a lot of stuff you've said on this thread. I became involved with a girl while I was in the Air Force, and she strung me along for nearly two years before she dumped me and took up with another guy (who was a shifty type, which I could have told her). They eventually got married, which, as it turns out ended up disastrously. I really felt very strongly towards this girl, and it hit me pretty hard when we separated. It took me six, seven years before I even wanted a relationship with another woman....I had a lot of hurt and a lot of bitterness to work through. She called me, years later, to apologize to me and to tell me that I was right and she was wrong, sharing a long laundry list of troubles and woes that her life had taken due to her marriage with the guy she'd hooked up with. Maybe she was fishing, I don't know, but I was married by then and was not the slightest bit interested; I was polite, but nothing more. I haven't heard from her since, nor do I wish to.

The second one was a girl I met in college after I left the Air Force. This one had a schtick of being the helpless female who needed a guy to protect and provide for her; and me being the big dummy that I was, I walked right into it. We eventually became engaged, but it turned stormy. It slowly transpired that this woman was a neurotic harridan who expected me to bail her out of every disastrous mess that she got herself into (and there were not a few of them). If I failed in this "responsibility", she became vicious, vindictive, and manipulative. I also found out that she was taking her ring off and running around on me with other guys. Eventually I broke it off with her and withdrew from her completely. She tried to contact me years later, too, through social media. I never answered her queries and I blocked all contact with her. I never want anything to do with her again, either.

Fortunately, I have been married to a wonderful girl for a quarter of a century now, and I have been very happy. But if, heaven forbid, I were to find myself in the position of being single again, I'm not sure I would pursue another relationship....quite frankly, I think I would forego any more romantic entanglements. At this stage in my life, I'm getting way too old for any more drama, and besides that, the dating scene being with it is, with all the backstabbing and spite and manipulation, I don't think I want anything to do with it.

 

[Paidiske]

Uhm, I believe "rape," is against the law and condemned by most of society.

If men were out to oppress women, why would they have come up with a law against it ?

The original purpose of laws against rape wasn't to protect women for their own sake. It was to protect the chattels and breeding stock of men.

And let's be real here; the current laws against rape are mostly ineffective either to protect women or to provide justice after the event. Something less than 5% of reported rapes result in conviction. The current system isn't actually serving women very well.

My wife stayed home with our two kids and I worked and had to fight my way up to earn enough to support my family. Today that's called toxic masculinity because somehow I kept my wife home to do the house work.

No; once again, that's not toxic masculinity.

"It" is God's design for gender roles. It is what it is.

Yes, but again, what are you saying that design consists of? If you were to lay that out in dot points, what would you consider the non-negotiable God-given aspects of gender roles?

There are many women who no doubt disagree with you, seeing how many men are accused of rape after having seduced a woman after a seemingly mutually enjoyable night on the town.

The operative word there might be "seemingly." There are many women who are pressured into sex to which they don't freely consent.

False accusations of rape are astonishingly low. Interestingly, I was reading something recently (in Amia Srinivasan's book The Right to Sex, which is another one I'd heartily recommend) that more false rape accusations are made against men by other men; that is, the rape occurred, but men ensure it's the wrong person who pays for the crime.

This means that the vast majority of abuse perpetuated by women upon men is unreported and below the radar.

That's true of abuse and rape in general.

However, again, I've been told my being a gun owner is "toxic masculinity" over and over.

Those people really don't know what they're talking about.

Like I said... let your hair down and walk to ANY place and flirt with a couple guys...you'll be set in 10 minutes.

That might have been true twenty years ago, but today it's probably less so. I can live with that.

That said; could I find casual sex easily if I wanted? Probably. For a lot of women, that's simply not appealing, though. Finding a possible partner who might be more than just a one-night stand is significantly more challenging.

Unlikely??? LOL I think it is unlikely that a woman will be 100% honest about her infidelities and previous lovers. It's like common knowledge. lol It's not uncommon to date a woman or even get married any more and "discover" that she had a "relationship" or "hung out" with some guy you randomly meet while out and about.

Well, to be fair, that's a completely different thing. Very few people - of either sex - come to marriage a virgin, and I wouldn't claim otherwise. But having had a previous relationship, and even being discreet about a previous relationship, isn't the same as infidelity during a relationship, at all.

I simply don't think women can love men the way men love women. When a man loves a woman he desires her body, mind, and spirit. When a woman loves a man, its generally on account of the resources she can extract from him.

Wow. That's a pretty low view of half of humanity, there.

So... I'm wondering why so many think single men are so dangerous? Why is a man's value attached to his relationship status? Why must a man have a woman in his life? Why is a man who is broke dangerous?

While I don't actually agree with what was said, I wonder if what she had in mind was the Elliot Rodger type people of this world? The incels turned violent misogynist extremists? If so, that should have been made more clear.

How is anything mentioned above "wrong" or "toxic"?

Frankly, you seem to hold women in contempt, viewing us as only out for ourselves, exploitative, selfish and manipulative. You don't seem to recognise the reality of the many women who are loving, joyful, peaceful contributors to their marriages and households, their churches and wider society. It's a pretty warped view.

If I were to be single again, I'm not sure I would seek a new partner either. But I don't have to hold men in contempt to recognise that singleness in later life doesn't have to be a disaster.