TiWOC UK - It has begun!

[Oafman]

It's that time of year again. The time when we must all sharpen our keyboards and take to arms.

Yes folks, it's the Fake War on Christmas (FWOC)!

In recent years, the UK has become a significant battleground in this war. Led by the brave crusaders at the Daily Mail, the fight has been taken to the lefty-dogooding-politically correct crowd. Their advance has been slowed, but their forces are massing once more (as they do every summer).

Trojan Horse purge 'threat to Christmas': Independent schools and academies could be forced to drop celebrations under new rules to tackle extremists

Will the forces of AntiChristmas prevail this year, and get their wish of abolishing Christmas and replacing it with their multifaith vision of a Eid-Ramadan-Divali-Yom Kippur-winterval?

Will the brave defenders of Christmas successfully keep the evil hordes at bay, guaranteeing another year of gaudy decorations, confused biblical references, and unabashed commercialism?

Let battle commence!

 

[Gadarene]

inb4 "Winterval"

 

[Phileas]

It seems the War on Christmas comes earlier every year.

Winterval

 

[Oafman]

Eid-Ramadan-Divali-Yom Kippur-winterval

inb4 "Winterval"

You need to sharpen up your act soldier. This fight is too important to lose.

 

[AirPo]

It's that time of year again. The time when we must all sharpen our keyboards and take to arms.

Yes folks, it's The imaginary War on Christmas (TiWOC)!

In recent years, the UK has become a significant battleground in this war. Led by the brave crusaders at the Daily Mail, the fight has been taken to the lefty-dogooding-politically correct crowd. Their advance has been slowed, but their forces are massing once more (as they do every summer).

Trojan Horse purge 'threat to Christmas': Independent schools and academies could be forced to drop celebrations under new rules to tackle extremists

Will the forces of AntiChristmas prevail this year, and get their wish of abolishing Christmas and replacing it with their multifaith vision of a Eid-Ramadan-Divali-Yom Kippur-winterval?

Will the brave defenders of Christmas successfully keep the evil hordes at bay, guaranteeing another year of gaudy decorations, confused biblical references, and unabashed commercialism?

Let battle commence!

Excuse me, it's FWOC Fake War On Christmas, thank you very much.

 

[Oafman]

Excuse me, it's FWOC Fake War On Christmas, thank you very much.

You say tomaytoe, I say tomato...

 

[AirPo]

You say tomaytoe, I say tomato...

Oh no, you've declared war on my internet meme!

It's RWOFWOC!

Real War On Fake War On Christmas.

 

[interpreter]

I can't get into the December 25th holiday any more. Jesus was born on March 27th, 4 BC when the star in the east (Venus) appeared over Bethlehem.

 

[Oafman]

Oh no, you've declared war on my internet meme!

It's RWOFWOC!

Real War On Fake War On Christmas.

A wise man once said that war begets war. How right he was.

 

[Oafman]

I can't get into the December 25th holiday any more. Jesus was born on March 27th, 4 BC when the star in the east (Venus) appeared over Bethlehem.

A new recruit! And an unexpected conversion for the dark side. Welcome to the good fight.

Also, (and this is a small point, but I thought I should pick you up on it), Venus is actually a planet rather than a star. Yet another reason to abolish Christmas!

 

[AirPo]

A wise man once said that war begets war. How right he was.

Fair enough, please forgive my papa bear reaction.

Perhaps I should have said I respectfully ask that you change you title to FWOC as the war, although fake, is not imaginary.

Thank you.

 

[Oafman]

To promote solidarity with fellow soldiers overseas, I have changed the name of this war.

But I want to be clear - the war goes on, and it will be fought this year with greater determination than ever before.

 

[interpreter]

A new recruit! And an unexpected conversion for the dark side. Welcome to the good fight.

Also, (and this is a small point, but I thought I should pick you up on it), Venus is actually a planet rather than a star. Yet another reason to abolish Christmas!

I bring light to the subject, not the dark side. Venus was considered to be a star.

 

[Jonathan Jarvis]

I can't get into the December 25th holiday any more. Jesus was born on March 27th, 4 BC when the star in the east (Venus) appeared over Bethlehem.

Christmas cards being seen in the shops already. Jesus born at the end of March. Imagine 7 months of Christmas commercialism.

By the way - what are the rules to this conflict?

 

[Nithavela]

If people rage, we win.

Same rules as always, actually.

 

[Oafman]

Christmas cards being seen in the shops already. Jesus born at the end of March. Imagine 7 months of Christmas commercialism.

By the way - what are the rules to this conflict?

The rules are simple. Gross overreactions are compulsory. The defenders of Christmas view their enemies as Godless communist autocrats who want to ban their traditions and their fun. The forces of the AntiChristmas view their opponents as theocratic extremists, determined to impose their religious views on wider society. No middle ground is acceptable.

Other than that, no rules, the gloves are off.