I don't know what the rules are about posting links here, so I won't, but this is a quote from another website. I had an ED for a number of years, and I can 100% vouch for this girl's description of anorexia. I've edited this to make it shorter, but I can PM you the link if you want to read all of it. (Apologies for the language; I've tried to censor it.)
"You will be skinny. You will be sickly thin. But you'll see fat. Other people will see you shrink but you won't get to watch. You'll be sickly skinny...but you won't be pretty. You'll have huge dark circles. Your skin will be pasty pale & have a lovely gray tint to it. Everything you do will bruise your skin. Your hair will be straw dry & dull. It will not shine. Speaking of hair, do you like facial hair? I hope so. You'll have it.
You'll have leg cramps. Your muscles will be balled into excruciating knots. You'll try to massage the knots out and...what? There IS no rubbing the knots out because there are no knots. It just feels like it. There's nothing you can do. You just get to lie there & try not to scream.
Sometimes you'll double over as you feel something extremely painful in your bowels. (And you don't have to be on the toilet to do this. Nope. This could be in class, bed, in your computer chair.) What is it? Its s***, grinding like a rock of sandpaper against your intestines as it slowly moves. You make it to the bathroom, in terrible pain, and take your s***. You get scared when you wipe your a**, because you see blood. But you flush it away & pretend you aren't frightened. Eventually, your s*** goes away. That's right, no more s****ing for you. Instead you get to p*** in two ways. Remember where the s*** used to come from? Something else is coming out now. Water. I'm not talking diarrhoea. I'm talking straight water. This will scare you too. But you still won't tell.
You'll probably get chest pains. Maybe heart flutters. This is scary too.
Do you have problems with depression? You do now. You're exhausted beyond belief but you still can't fall asleep... and when you do you can't stay asleep. In the day you can't concentrate. Your mind won't function. You also forget what you wanted to say a lot. Goodbye memory."
It is not worth it. In all seriousness, my advice would be to do every last thing in your power to avoid going down this road, because you don't get to control it - it controls you, utterly and completely. I lost my job, my then-boyfriend, and 90% of my friends. My parents' lives became a living hell. And you never ever *completely* recover. You may get back to a "normal" weight, but you'll never again have a normal relationship with food or with your body. After you've recovered you'll try to have a normal conversation with your girlfriends, and realise that half of their conversation is about food and weight, and wanting to lose weight. This will be extremely triggering for you, and it will take everything in your power not to go back down that road.
Before you sign up to an eating disorder, be aware of exactly what you're signing up for, and be aware that it could end up being a lifetime commitment.
