This thing called faith

[fealty77]

Thank you for the prayers. I need any I can get and by the grace of God this will go away for both of us.

I also have a question for anyone who has gone through therapy. My therapist specializes in OCD and has me doing things that make my anxiety go way up...but it stays like that for days and it gets me to the point where I feel like I don't want to live anymore. Is this normal? I hear that Behavior Therapy can be scary at the time, but I just don't know if I can keep going. Anyways, sorry to steal your thread Raven, I just figured I'd ask.

 

[raven1]

It is ok I do not know the answer to your question but I was in a deep depression at one point thinking that when I die I may never see my girl again. So I understand your despair. Don't give up though stay with therapy you will get better. (hugs) Raven

 

[OCD=Owie]

Well if you're starting to think suicidal thoughts, you should definitely inform your therapist. In such a case, ERP alone might not be enough, and medication might be needed.

I know that ERP makes your anxiety go up, and that it is supposed to eventually go back down if you're doing it right. (as in not dwelling endlesly on whether ignoring your fears is going to be okay.) However, if your anxiety is shooting through the roof to the point where you're either having suicidal thoughts, or just severely depressed, then you should discuss with your therapist the possibility of getting on some medication.

 

[OCD=Owie]

Regardless, you should let your therapist know that you're concerned that you're only getting more stressed out.

 

[fealty77]

Well if you're starting to think suicidal thoughts, you should definitely inform your therapist. In such a case, ERP alone might not be enough, and medication might be needed.

I know that ERP makes your anxiety go up, and that it is supposed to eventually go back down if you're doing it right. (as in not dwelling endlesly on whether ignoring your fears is going to be okay.) However, if your anxiety is shooting through the roof to the point where you're either having suicidal thoughts, or just severely depressed, then you should discuss with your therapist the possibility of getting on some medication.

I actually just went to him again today and told him what was going on. He said I am depressed along with the OCD. But he changed what I am doing a little so it won't be so hard on me. He said I might need to get on meds if it doesn't work out and he said to call him if I ever get those thoughts again. I just don't have insurance so I wouldn't be able to afford medication until January. I can barely afford to go to him but he is working with me money wise. I was thinking I would like to get on medication, but I know I will have to wait
Thanks Owie

 

[Mr. Runningfish]

I've never tried it, but my doctor did tell me about:

RxAssist - Patient Center

Evidently, there are companies who will HELP people who can't afford the medicines, et them. Look into it more before you sign up. Might help you out though.

 

[OCD=Owie]

Yeah, it sounds like Runningfish's link might be a good thing to look into. Meds can really be a lifesaver.

 

[fealty77]

I will look into that guys and talk to my therapist about my options. He would have to send me to a psychiatrist to get the meds though so I don't know how I would pay for that either. Being broke stinks. Lol

 

[Mr. Runningfish]

There is a place here that sees people, psychologist and psychiatrist, they determine how much you pay based on how much you make. Maybe someplace similar where you are? Hospitals/University Counseling Centers might have information on it if it exists in your area.

 

[fealty77]

Ok. I didn't know that. I will ask around and see what I can do. Thanks guys for the help.

 

[fifigirl]

More good stuff. "Lord I believe, help thou my unbelief!" The point of this scripture is to show us that we can come to Christ just as this person did even while feeling doubt and He will not reject us. The reason He won't reject us is that we still come to Him just as this individual did.
"This is who I am Lord, I have doubts, they scare me so badly, they make me feel as if you could never save me, but I'm coming to you any way. I'm coming not because of who I am but because of who you are. You are merciful, full of grace, perfect in your love for me and this is why I'm coming and will continue to come to you." When those of us with OCD do this we are walking in faith just as the very real and very scared individual in this scripture did. But the focus of our faith is not on our weakness and our doubt but on the person of Jesus.
Mitzi

Hi Mitzi... As you can see, I'm reading stuff from previous old threads.. One of my biggest stumbling blocks I guess is what its' called.. or maybe it's one of my OCD obsessions is that in my case when the doubts came... they scared me so badly, and I felt guilty for having them in the first place and suddenly that's all I could focus on what my doubts, my fears, my thoughts, my feelings or lack of, me, me ME! That has been my greatest downfall: FOCUSING ON MYSELF, ON MY PROBLEMS< MY DOUBTS< MY FEARS< etc... And because of that.. (that I've spent most of my life focusing on myself instead of Jesus.. How can I change that now.. I'm worried that God won't let me come to him now. I'm worried that I have no desire to pray to God, because of focusing on myself and my doubts all these years. It's like I think I have no hope of salvation because of all the "damage" I may have done to my soul. Does that make sense? Every now and then I have a thought that if I will just start reading the Bible again, and studying it slowly, and asking God to open my heart, mind and spiritual understanding to it and to HIM, that perhaps HE can begin to work in my mind, spirit, heart, etc.. and change me. But then I get afraid to read the Bible...because I'm afraid that I'll realize and be convinced that the negative stuff is true about me.. (I'm doomed..i'm wicked, evil, etc.._) Can you tell me whether all these kinds of thoughts that prevent me from doing the right thing are OCD obsessions or not? Thanks...

 

[raven1]

either fundamentalists are right or others are. who can know. praying for u fifigirl. you doubt God exists though?

 

[fifigirl]

No, I don't doubt that God exists. I believe (the best I know how) that He exists. (I guess what I'm saying is that I believe mentally that the Bible is true. But I questions whether or not my belief is real or sincere or true faith that is valid for me to call myself a Christian. I wonder if I only have "head knowledge" and not "heart knowledge". I question whether or not I have truly "received" Christ. This has been my OCD obsessions, doubts, struggles, battles for most of my life. VERY FRUSTRATING and TERRIFYING!

 

[raven1]

I hear ya
I doubt everything whether the bible is true, God is there everything