thinking.......

[eastside9008]

i will post a more detailed thread later, but here's this for the time being:

ive had a lot of strong urges lately about wanting to cut. they just keep getting stronger and stronger. how do i resist the urges? at one point it had been almost a year since i last cut, and right now its only several months. any advice is greatly appreciated. sometimes i feel like cutting will just make everything better, and even resolve some things that im going through.
more details later.

~alex

 

[Mayflower1]

i will post a more detailed thread later, but here's this for the time being:

ive had a lot of strong urges lately about wanting to cut. they just keep getting stronger and stronger. how do i resist the urges? at one point it had been almost a year since i last cut, and right now its only several months. any advice is greatly appreciated. sometimes i feel like cutting will just make everything better, and even resolve some things that im going through.
more details later.

~alex

Thinking is a really tough thing to do and sometimes being alone with those thoughts isn't really the best thing. Perhaps if you told somebody how you are feeling, then the urges wouldn't be so bad. For me, that has always helped. The only sure proof way though is to go to God and to ask for strength and guidance that you will do the right thing. A year is a great accomplishment and you should be real proud of yourself. If you fail, just get back up again but try hard not to because it is just a silent scream that nobody will really hear unless you tell someone. Lily00 "I can do all things through Christ which strengtheneth me." Phillippians 4:13

 

[eastside9008]

i will post a more detailed thread later,

well here's some details.......

if you search in previous threads ive posted, youll find my 'trouble at home' thread. it explains my story more in depth. to sum it up, my mom is an alcoholic. she hasnot yet gotten help for her problem. i have been a cutter for more than two years. i have, for a very long time, been terrified of telling any adult anything. my mom took me to a psyciatrist a couple of months ago because she thought i had some form of add or adhd. my doctor started asking me all these questions, mostly relating to hurting myself, cutting, drugs, things of that sort. i lied in response to just about every question he asked me. about a month later, i asked my mom to schedule another appointment with the same doctor. she was quite reluctant to do so, because she thought there was no reason for it. she does not know that i am a cutter. she scheduled another appointment for me, and cancelled it a total of three times. i had an appointment scheduled for this previous monday. she cancelled that one as well. i questioned her about it and she said that there was no reason for me to go back. i was finally ready to go tell someone about my cutting, and i was ready for help, and i couldnt get it. my mom told me that she thinks that the reason why i want to go back to my docotor is because i want to be put on perscriptions. im scared to tell her, because she's going through a bunch of problems on her own with her alcoholism. i jsut dont know what to do anymore. do i just forget about it, and deal with it on my own? do i wait for a week and ask her to schedule me another appointment?do i schedule it my self and have someone else take me? any questions about anything just pm me. i need all the help i can get right now. all i want to do is cut.......


~Alex

 

[jesuschickseven]

If you want to go to a therapist then find another person to take you and go.

I understand not having the support at home I never had that either. You are showing a real desire to recover and that's good. If you can't get to a therapist find another adult to talk to. Find a youth pastor or someone else you can trust. Ask God to point someone out to you and then tell them. You won't know how supportive people can be until you give them a chance.

 

[daughteroftheking1983]

it is really positive that you want to seek help-that is half the battle. It would be great if you could find someone else to take you-is there someone in your school, or another family member who could help? Is this psychiatrist a Christian?

 

[eastside9008]

im going to talk to my best friend, and she can probably take me. he isnt a christian psyciatrist. on the medical insurance i'm on, there isnt a christian psyciatrist thats covered on the insurance.

 

[eastside9008]

ive been trying so hard just to keep myself happy. nothing seems to work. im just so depressed. the littlest thing stresses me out. i dont know what to do anymore. all i want to do is cut. i feel so worthless; so lost in this world. all i want is to be happy again. to have that feeling in me again. i sincerely miss being happy. how do i fix this? i cant go through my life like this. i dont want to cut, but i cant resist for much longer. the urge is just too strong. please help in any way possible. i dont know what to do. all i want is to be happy

 

[trying2survive09]

I know the urge can be unbearable. Have you thought about having someone that you call whenever you feel that the urge will over take you? Someone that doesn't care what time it is when you call. If not, I suggest that. It's helped me...but it also means tearing down the wall (if you've put any up), and being very honest with this one person. I hope that helps. I'm here if you ever need anything, and i'll be praying for you.

 

[eastside9008]

i just couldnt take it anymore. a couple hours ago i cut for the first time in like 4 months. i cant believe i did it. the weirdest thing is, i feel happier then i did before i cut. yes, i feel horrible about doing it, but im happy at the same time. i dont know what to do. i feel completely and totally lost. what do i do?

 

[trying2survive09]

Hun, I am so sorry. I really don't know what to tell you. I know the feeling of happiness after you do it. I know that I've already said this, but this is what I urge you to do...find someone you can trust and tell him/her. I wish I had some magical words to make this go away...but I don't. I will be praying for you though.

 

[NinadeDios777]

pray. every time you get these urges, DONT STOP PRAYING!

 

[eastside9008]

it's been a while since ive updated you all on what's been going on. ive been diagnosed with bipolar disorder and ive been on medication for about 3 months. i still have my bad days, but im a much happier person. i can't thank you all enough for your prayers. the power of prayer amazes me. thanks for everything

~Alex