#ThingsOnlyChristianWomenHear

[Dave-W]

I'm not of the belief that it's "moral" for a man to leave a woman alone and stranded (for appearance sake). That appears callous and legalistic to me.

I heard a pastor once BOAST that he was driving out in the country and came across a woman, wife of one of his elders, stranded with a broken down car out in the country, That was before the days of cell phones. He bragged on how he just kept on driving and when he finally got home, called her husband to go get her. (probably hours later) He was completely smug in how he gave no room for anyone to even hint that he was improper with her.

I am not sure if I was more upset that he did that, or that the husband and wife seemed to approve of his actions. If it was my wife I would have had a "theological discussion" with him and good length of 2x4.

 

[mkgal1]

Well.... I'm a believer of non-violence....but I totally agree that the acceptance of things like that as being considered "moral" is a greater problem. Also....this idea that the most dangerous threat to a person is "appearance of evil" is so overblown. Have these people never heard about people like the Zodiak serial killer? Being a law-abiding Christian doesn't offer any exception against genuine evil.

 

[Dave-W]

Well.... I'm a believer of non-violence....but I totally agree that the acceptance of things like that as being considered "moral" is a greater problem. Also....this idea that the most dangerous threat to a person is "appearance of evil". Have these people never heard about people like the Zodiak serial killer? Being a law-abiding Christian doesn't offer any exception against genuine evil.

If properly translate into modern vernacular, that phrase is better understood "every instance where evil appears."

It never was about what just looks bad.

It also betrays an ungodly preoccupation with personal holiness, something our Lord put down in the parable of the Good Samaritan.

 

[mkgal1]

It also betrays an ungodly preoccupation with personal holiness, something our Lord put down in the parable of the Good Samaritan.

Excellent point. That parable is such a close parallel to the story you mentioned. Strange how the message wasn't applied (maybe because it wasn't a female Samaritan?). Jesus fixed that with the Samaritan woman at the well.

 

[ValleyGal]

The whole "appearance" thing should be considered in wisdom, taking context into account. After all, I took a client to lunch at a mall, and an older man from my previous church was there with his wife. They saw me with a man who was not my husband (it does not matter that we are separated; I am still legally married). The thing is, I was in a busy place with him having a semi-private conversation in a quiet area of the food court. That is far more appropriate than having an evening dinner with him in a dimly lit, romanticized restaurant.

A man who leaves a woman stranded in the rain at night leaves her vulnerable to potentially immoral people driving along. Anyone could have stopped and done wrong to the woman, where had the honorable man stopped and taken care of her as a sister in the Lord, there is no appearance of evil. It's not like you can get romantic broken down on a highway with someone you casually know. Better to risk whatever appearances others might conjure up based on their own bias, than to risk leaving a woman alone and helpless at night on the road.

Now. Back to the list. I didn't like number 18: “The highest calling of every woman is to be a wife and mother.” This is an insult to every woman who is barren, childless, or has no husband, like rubbing salt in an open wound. And it is also not biblical (otherwise it would not be in the list). Anyone's highest calling is the Lord's service. Not reproduction. Makes us all sound like we are little more than baby machines whose identity is solely in every other member of the family except her own. UGH.

 

[Dave-W]

Now. Back to the list. I didn't like number 18: “The highest calling of every woman is to be a wife and mother.” This is an insult to every woman who is barren, childless, or has no husband, like rubbing salt in an open wound.

A classic example of confusing doctrine with cultural concerns.

 

[RedPonyDriver]

I heard this from my non-fundamentalist family
27. “You're too strong honey. You've got to let him lead if you want a man.” –JillMarie Richardson

as a reason why I was single until my mid 30's

 

[mkgal1]

I heard this from my non-fundamentalist family
27. “You're too strong honey. You've got to let him lead if you want a man.” –JillMarie Richardson

as a reason why I was single until my mid 30's

So....in other words, "become someone else in order to 'get a man' " . That's such a distorted goal ("get a man"/"get a woman"). It's so much better to "become our best self" and then ---if it so happens--enjoy relationships with those that are compatible with us....encouraging our best self.

 

[Paidiske]

Not to mention that apparently, the only men available are relatively weak, so she has to become weaker than them; rather than looking for a man of strong personality/character to match hers!

 

[RedPonyDriver]

Not to mention that apparently, the only men available are relatively weak, so she has to become weaker than them; rather than looking for a man of strong personality/character to match hers!

Oh, I'm married to someone who will go toe to toe with me...

 

[Zoii]

The whole "appearance" thing should be considered in wisdom, taking context into account. After all, I took a client to lunch at a mall, and an older man from my previous church was there with his wife. They saw me with a man who was not my husband (it does not matter that we are separated; I am still legally married). The thing is, I was in a busy place with him having a semi-private conversation in a quiet area of the food court. That is far more appropriate than having an evening dinner with him in a dimly lit, romanticized restaurant.

A man who leaves a woman stranded in the rain at night leaves her vulnerable to potentially immoral people driving along. Anyone could have stopped and done wrong to the woman, where had the honorable man stopped and taken care of her as a sister in the Lord, there is no appearance of evil. It's not like you can get romantic broken down on a highway with someone you casually know. Better to risk whatever appearances others might conjure up based on their own bias, than to risk leaving a woman alone and helpless at night on the road.

Now. Back to the list. I didn't like number 18: “The highest calling of every woman is to be a wife and mother.” This is an insult to every woman who is barren, childless, or has no husband, like rubbing salt in an open wound. And it is also not biblical (otherwise it would not be in the list). Anyone's highest calling is the Lord's service. Not reproduction. Makes us all sound like we are little more than baby machines whose identity is solely in every other member of the family except her own. UGH.

While I think having a child is a special thing that women alone get to experience, I agree with you that it alone is not my higher calling and "finding a man" I dont even regard as a calling. Im smart, good looking, and will probably have a good job when I grad. If a guy has me as a partner, then its because we both feel we are fortunate and deserving of each other. My higher ideals may involve children n family, but they go well beyond that including my education, career, and service that will inevitably involve working for women who are suffering.