Things you never want to hear

[OLDoMiNiON]

Bill Gates: Microsoft are planning to buy out the McDonalds food store chain! From now on, all restaurants will feature a variety of new state of the art technological features!
1. they will all be fitted with automatic ketchup/mayo/sweet and sour Sauce dispensers! They will be buggy as h*ll, and when you forget to shut them down properly at the end of the day, will crash and begin uncontrolably dispensing sauce!
2. the toilets will have automatic flushes hat sense when you are about to take a number two, and decide to squirt you up the bum for amusement!
3. electronic waiter(ess's), who ask such annoying questions as "are you sure you wish to place this order?" (x3), "do you want me to auto save your order every 10 seconds??", and "you seem to be stuck! please select an option, and i will adjust my assistance level to suit your needs!" (then pressing any of them results in a BSOD!! ).

argh!!! (lol)

ok:


James Brown

 

[Miss Shelby]

You're a friend of the bride's? Perhaps you can shed some light on this. Why is she such a witch?

Kindergarten teacher

 

[OLDoMiNiON]

"Please excuse me, i'm just going to visit the pedophillia councellor" (sorry if thats a bit strong!!)

Jerry Springer

 

[Miss Shelby]

"Hello, Miss Shelby, I have received your daughter's request to appear on our show featuring transvestite lesbians"

Bubba Clinton (that'd be Bill)

 

[OLDoMiNiON]

"I did *not*, have sexual relations, with that Gerbill!" *audience hears a faint squeeking sound radiating from his pocket*
(sorry - lol)
(visit joecartoon.com and you will get the hooomer used above )


Michael Jackson

 

[altya]

Am I beautiful or what?

Nelson Mandela

 

[Christmasguy]

lets get those nuks ready.......

Donald Duck

 

[Ryder]

Donald Duck "Sgnth dktkyg sss fkkhkksss kgfbksss kbdibsss sjgjjsssssssssssssssssssssss ssjgjj  ssssssssssssssssssjfjjfs sssssssssssssssssss fjobjdfjgssweiw ss sjsgjsoerss sssssss"

Link

 

[OracleX]

Who is Link?

 

[Christmasguy]

I gues you never what to hear that someone doesn't know who you are talking about

Captian Picard

 

[OLDoMiNiON]

"Data, i've been quoted already in these forums! Quick, hit the self-destruct button... i've discovered we must be sellouts!" (no offence to the hardcore fans out there )

Martain Smith (lead singer from Delirious)

 

[Ryder]

Link is that green clothed guy from the zelda games,

 *after you purchase front row seats* Martin Smith "Hackk, cough cough... weeeEEEze, sputter"

Han Solo

 

[Noddingdog]

"Hey, are you sure those were the right hyperdrive settings? There's a lot of space debris out there ya know..."

Marvin Martian

 

[Christmasguy]

Help I fallen and I can't get up.

Bugs Bunny put down my g..........................ow.........

Queen Elizabeth

 

[OLDoMiNiON]

"We've just discovered a new 'miracle drug' that will make me live as long as my mother! - yay! i can carry on spending all your tax money until i'm all wrinkly!! =D"

Stevie Wonder

 

[waterwizard]

Stevie Wonder -- This is my first operatic solo......

Brain Surgeon

 

[Holyjoe]

well, lift up your foot please...

Michael Burk (the news reader)

 

[waterwizard]

Michael Burk -- See Jane run. Run, Jane......uh, what's that next word?

Meat Market Manager

 

[Noddingdog]

(as you trip and fall onto new batch) "Yep, most of this fresh batch is covered in salmonella..."

Bomb Technician

 

[altya]

[pong][GLOW=red]RUN!!!!!! [/GLOW] [/pong]

Bally teacher