Things you never want to hear

[waterwizard]

Person who turned 150: I'm marrying your daughter tomorrow.

Deer hunter

 

[Ryder]

*checks for pants... aok*

Deer hunter "Hey guys, I left my 303brit ammo in someones pack, you guys seen it?"

*BAM*

sort-of an inside joke for hunters

Whaler/Whale fisher

 

[evenstar]

whaler: "yep, just killed him yesterday, the last whale in the oceans!"

ice cream man

 

[lucypevensie]

You don't look like you need any more ice-cream, young lady!

The Little Mermaid

 

[OracleX]

The Little Mermain: HELP I am drowning!! bulp bulp bulp

Sky diver

 

[evenstar]

sky diver (after you've jumped out of the plane): I got your parachute at the second hand store; I think it should work.

structrual engineer

 

[OracleX]

Structrual engineer: I sure hope this bridge plan out of the box of Crackerjacks works.

Church pew

 

[aaron]

a

 

[OLDoMiNiON]

The left phasors are not functioning correctly, captain! I'm diverting all power to the main food synthisiser!



John Cleese

 

[Ryder]

LOL, "tea... *sqints like clint eastwood* earl grey"

 

*BAM*

Health inspector "Was that a GUN !?"

John Cleese "Blody television exploding again..."

 

Worf

 

[OracleX]

Worf: You make me feel so warm and fuzy.

Data

 

[Ryder]

Data "Wesley, I am sorry you cannot find your calculator, but I will not do your math homework"

(kinda lame, couldn't think of much)

Gordi (is that spelled right?)

 

[OracleX]

Gordi: Did we need that warp core?

Picard

 

[Ryder]

Picard "eggs, over easy, and don't spare the bacon"

Waitress "you want homefires sir?"

Picard "make it so"

 

Spock

 

[OracleX]

LOL

Spock: *giggling like a school girl and skiping down the street* Hehehehe

 

[OracleX]

Oops forgot to start the next one.

Jabba the Hut

 

[OLDoMiNiON]

(don't let this tread die!! - i don't know what the guy would say, someone else will have to take control captain - darn, i can't get out of the "speak like data mode", hehe)

 

[Ryder]

Jabba the Hutt "Whe yabo dirgis monab yabo toulneshe whe forma dob yabo"

C3PO "Jabba says he would like to eat a wookie sprinkled with star destroyer waste over at Mon Mothmas' summer resort porta-jon"

Jabba the Hutt "YEARGA PETI MONTRA PUNTO !!!!"

C3PO "Oh dear, I think I may have ended my career as a translator"

 

 

Ruke Piewalker (longtime jedi wannabe)

 

[OLDoMiNiON]

*Ruke is fighting Vader in a noisy room*

Obiwan: The Force, you must use! Otherwise - Alas , await you, your death might!

Ruke: The Sauce?? I'm not bothered if the steak tastes like.... *vader drives the dagger through his heart*

ouch! erm....



Ali G

 

[ajs_tm]

ALI G: "aiiii, rite so i woz talkin to me mate dave an ee sed that i should spend me dole money on sumfink wurfwhile like sum ov jamaicas finest but insted me hactually got a job and bort meself a pair of baggies and a slipknot huddie. recognise"

Bill Gates