Things you never want to hear

[waterwizard]

Peter, Paul, and Mary: Now, we'll entertain you with one of our favorites, Led Zepplin's "Been a Long Time Since I Rock 'N Rolled."

Produce salesman

 

[OracleX]

Don't mind the worms - they add flavor.

UN Arms Inspector

 

[waterwizard]

UN Arms Inspector: Yep, everyone there had two arms each. And two legs, too.

Rich uncle on his deathbed

 

[OracleX]

LOL

Yup my name is Rich but I have no money.

Your Computer

 

[waterwizard]

Your Computer: BEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEP!!!

Your air conditioner

 

[Ryder]

Air conditioner *cue sound of old ww1 biplane engine starting*

Person next to you in a plane

 

[OracleX]

Person next to you in a plane: Is it just me or is the engine on fire?

Your pet parrot.

 

[Ryder]

*girlfriends parents enter the room for a dinner meet & great*

Pet parrot "You big ugly #&*^%, howdy #*&^%* do"

no words in my mouth now, those were intentional scribbles

 

DMV tester

 

[OracleX]

DMV tester: Ok now for the bridge jumping test.

That pesky voice in your head.

 

[evenstar]

that pesky voice in your head: you don't need to buy chocolate!

film analysis and appreciation professor

(btw, one computer beep at booting up usually means it passed the POST (power on self test), so it's a good thing. more than one beep...not sure...but I think it means there is a problem somewhere.)

 

[Ryder]

Film analysis & appreciation Professor --- "I love Pauly Shore, don't you?"

Hang-glider guy

 

[OracleX]

Hang-glider: *crack* *snap* "Don't worry about those polls, I think they are just for decoration."

Operating Brain Surgeon.

 

[Ryder]

Operating brain surgeon "Can you still move your leg? ... No you can't, well ... It'll come back to you"

*Wildcard, pick somebody*

 

[OracleX]

The little angel on your shoulder: No you don't want to drive that Tonka tank to work.

The little devil on your shoulder:

 

[Ryder]

Today at 10:11 AM OracleX said this in Post #514

The little angel on your shoulder: No you don't want to drive that Tonka tank to work.

The little devil on your shoulder:

Little devil : That's right, you want to drive it to the beach !

 

*another wild* (too tired)

 

[OracleX]

Guess that would pretty much gaurentee you a good spot.

Person applying to work for you: Well after my 10 years for armed robbery I did another 5 for grand theft auto.

The employer doing the interview:

 

[Ryder]

Today at 10:18 AM OracleX said this in Post #516

Guess that would pretty much gaurentee you a good spot.

Person applying to work for you: Well after my 10 years for armed robbery I did another 5 for grand theft auto.

The employer doing the interview:

You really think your dress-up Ronald McDonald material do you ??

*wild, heck yours are good*

 

[OracleX]

Doctor delivering your baby: Oh my!! What the world is that!!

The baby being born:

 

[Ryder]

Today at 10:22 AM OracleX said this in Post #518

Doctor delivering your baby: Oh my!! What the world is that!!

The baby being born:

*couldn't hear what the baby said, passed out, all my wife's problem now*

Gotta go to class, cya

Tired student

 

[OracleX]

LOL It will be your problem when you wake up!

Cya! Learn lots and stay awake

Tired student [in class (hopefuly not Ryder)]: Oh oh - forgot to put pants on.

Person who just turn 150