Things you never want to hear

[ZiSunka]

Sadaam Hussein--
"To spite George W. Bush, I order all the people of Iraq to committ suicide immediately."

Your spouse.

 

[waterwizard]

Your Spouse -- Dear, what was that you told me about putting pots in the microwave?

Airplane mechanic

 

[ZiSunka]

Airplane mechanic--"Oh don't worry about that. A little duct tape will hold it together for a while. Probably long enough for your flight, anyway."

Customs inspector.

 

[Kikayon]

"Lie face down on the floor, Sir, with your hands behind your back! NOW!"

Lawyer.

 

[waterwizard]

Oops

 

[ZiSunka]

Lawyer.--"Just sign the contract here and here, next to the X I made with purple crayon."

janitor

 

[waterwizard]

Janitor -- Hmm.. let me see...add a little ammonia, now bleach.....

Pharmacist

 

[Kikayon]

"Everyone! EVERYONE! He's got haemorrhoids! He's got haemorrhoids!"

Psychoanalyst

 

[ZiSunka]

Psychoanalyst

(on his cell phone) "Honey, we ARE going to get to take that European vacation after all! Yep! The answer to our prayers just walked into my office!"

pesticide salesman

 

[OracleX]

I just caught a 250lb cockroach in your basement that you can sell to a zoo for thousands!

Bank Robber

 

[ZiSunka]

Bank Robber

"Can I open a checking account today? I don't want to have to carry all this money around with me. I might get robbed."

The Lone Ranger

 

[onecrazycowgirl]

Lone Ranger: Hiy-ho Sil - ..... oof! [from ground] Silver, you get right back here this instant!


your doctor

 

[waterwizard]

Doctor -- (Blowing into his stethoscope) Haaaalooooo!!!! Haaaloooooo!!!!!
Pffftffft!!!!

Water meter reader

 

[onecrazycowgirl]

Water meter reader: I didn't know it was possible to use this much water in this period of time


Wal*Mart clerk

 

[lucypevensie]

You're buying this thing??? What a waste of money! HAHAHA!

Saddam Hussein

 

[ZiSunka]

Saddam Hussein

"ATTACKKKKKKK!!!!!!!!!!!"

The telephone repairman

 

[layne]

"I'm afraid that you're wiring is shot and we'll need to take this wall down to replace it"

Mr. T

 

[ZiSunka]

Mr. T

anything that comes out of Mr T's mouth! I hate the sound of his voice!!!

Your grandmother

 

[Lbiagm]

what are you wearing

Bill clinton

 

[altya]

Monika

Dentist