Things I've recently said to my cat

[dzheremi]

I thought it would take a lot longer than this to become a crazy cat person, but I've had this cat for 12 days or something, and I'm already saying things like...

• Stop eating the corner of my book. That's not how you read things.
• Stop eating my exercise bike. You have food.
• (Cat is biting me) Owww....OWWWW, STOP...WHY AM I SO DELICIOUS?
• Stop crying. You're not abandoned just because I won't let you into the bathroom.
• (Related) If you don't stop trying to stick your head in the toilet I'm gonna flush you down there
• (After I called the maintenance guy to repair my garbage disposal only to find it had been unplugged from the wall inside the kitchen cabinet -- a place I can't even reach) WHEREVER YOU ARE RIGHT NOW, YOU ARE GROUNDED!

What about all of you? What sorts of things have you had to say to your pets? I'm sure my cat isn't the only one who is naughty/constantly on drugs (catnip) and freaking out like she just remembered (again) that she lives here.

 

[Michie]

I thought it would take a lot longer than this to become a crazy cat person, but I've had this cat for 12 days or something, and I'm already saying things like...

• Stop eating the corner of my book. That's not how you read things.
• Stop eating my exercise bike. You have food.
• (Cat is biting me) Owww....OWWWW, STOP...WHY AM I SO DELICIOUS?
• Stop crying. You're not abandoned just because I won't let you into the bathroom.
• (Related) If you don't stop trying to stick your head in the toilet I'm gonna flush you down there
• (After I called the maintenance guy to repair my garbage disposal only to find it had been unplugged from the wall inside the kitchen cabinet -- a place I can't even reach) WHEREVER YOU ARE RIGHT NOW, YOU ARE GROUNDED!

What about all of you? What sorts of things have you had to say to your pets? I'm sure my cat isn't the only one who is naughty/constantly on drugs (catnip) and freaking out like she just remembered (again) that she lives here.

I sing to mine. What’s up pussycat, etc.

 

[spiritfilledjm]

I thought it would take a lot longer than this to become a crazy cat person, but I've had this cat for 12 days or something, and I'm already saying things like...

• Stop eating the corner of my book. That's not how you read things.
• Stop eating my exercise bike. You have food.
• (Cat is biting me) Owww....OWWWW, STOP...WHY AM I SO DELICIOUS?
• Stop crying. You're not abandoned just because I won't let you into the bathroom.
• (Related) If you don't stop trying to stick your head in the toilet I'm gonna flush you down there
• (After I called the maintenance guy to repair my garbage disposal only to find it had been unplugged from the wall inside the kitchen cabinet -- a place I can't even reach) WHEREVER YOU ARE RIGHT NOW, YOU ARE GROUNDED!

What about all of you? What sorts of things have you had to say to your pets? I'm sure my cat isn't the only one who is naughty/constantly on drugs (catnip) and freaking out like she just remembered (again) that she lives here.

Your cat eats exercise bikes...my cat snubs anything that's not tuna, gravy covered meats, or kibble...and she prefers kibble which she seems to be allergic to.

 

[Mark Quayle]

I thought it would take a lot longer than this to become a crazy cat person, but I've had this cat for 12 days or something, and I'm already saying things like...

• Stop eating the corner of my book. That's not how you read things.
• Stop eating my exercise bike. You have food.
• (Cat is biting me) Owww....OWWWW, STOP...WHY AM I SO DELICIOUS?
• Stop crying. You're not abandoned just because I won't let you into the bathroom.
• (Related) If you don't stop trying to stick your head in the toilet I'm gonna flush you down there
• (After I called the maintenance guy to repair my garbage disposal only to find it had been unplugged from the wall inside the kitchen cabinet -- a place I can't even reach) WHEREVER YOU ARE RIGHT NOW, YOU ARE GROUNDED!

What about all of you? What sorts of things have you had to say to your pets? I'm sure my cat isn't the only one who is naughty/constantly on drugs (catnip) and freaking out like she just remembered (again) that she lives here.

To my half-breed Attention Hound—Miniature Great Nuisance. "No! Not when you want it —when I want it! See? Me, master; you, dog. Good boy!"

 

[GreekOrthodox]

Those are all pretty standard phrases for cat owners.

 

[Tom 1]

I thought it would take a lot longer than this to become a crazy cat person, but I've had this cat for 12 days or something, and I'm already saying things like...

• Stop eating the corner of my book. That's not how you read things.
• Stop eating my exercise bike. You have food.
• (Cat is biting me) Owww....OWWWW, STOP...WHY AM I SO DELICIOUS?
• Stop crying. You're not abandoned just because I won't let you into the bathroom.
• (Related) If you don't stop trying to stick your head in the toilet I'm gonna flush you down there
• (After I called the maintenance guy to repair my garbage disposal only to find it had been unplugged from the wall inside the kitchen cabinet -- a place I can't even reach) WHEREVER YOU ARE RIGHT NOW, YOU ARE GROUNDED!

What about all of you? What sorts of things have you had to say to your pets? I'm sure my cat isn't the only one who is naughty/constantly on drugs (catnip) and freaking out like she just remembered (again) that she lives here.

Ahh the early stages of animal ownership. Won't be long before you start singing to your cat.

 

[Tom 1]

Hey, that's my chair!

Yeah, whatevs

 

[sandman]

Not much of a cat person, but through unforeseen circumstances I ended up with one from my X ….. that she asked me to take care of until she found it a home….she was moving and could not take it with her.

Some of the reasons cats bother me ….

*Animals do not belong on the counter or tables where I am preparing food …I know where their feet have been.

*If you want to go outside stay outside for a while. And when you come back in you can’t decide you want to go back out, back in, back out…and on and on…

* Don’t even attempt to go into my bedroom …I don’t care how big my bed is …it is a no cat zone.

*No! No! NO! … I really don’t care to see you heinie.

*I appreciate you are the great hunter, but I don’t need to see your bounty on the patio every day.

*There is still food in the dish …even if you can see the bottom of the dish.

*Just once …would you come to me when I call you …you know …like a dog does.

*What do you mean you don’t want a keyboard in your bed…you love to lay on it, on my desk….Here have some more catnip.

***Litterboxes… ugh…… enough said.


4 months later, a new home as found for Riley ….I kind of missed talking to her after she was gone maybe for about a week…but I got over it.

 

[PloverWing]

To my cat:

Don't lick my computer. It doesn't need a bath.

How does anything as small as you take up an entire bed? (She manages to stretch out diagonally in a way that leaves little room for humans.)

 

[Sparagmos]

I thought it would take a lot longer than this to become a crazy cat person, but I've had this cat for 12 days or something, and I'm already saying things like...

• Stop eating the corner of my book. That's not how you read things.
• Stop eating my exercise bike. You have food.
• (Cat is biting me) Owww....OWWWW, STOP...WHY AM I SO DELICIOUS?
• Stop crying. You're not abandoned just because I won't let you into the bathroom.
• (Related) If you don't stop trying to stick your head in the toilet I'm gonna flush you down there
• (After I called the maintenance guy to repair my garbage disposal only to find it had been unplugged from the wall inside the kitchen cabinet -- a place I can't even reach) WHEREVER YOU ARE RIGHT NOW, YOU ARE GROUNDED!

What about all of you? What sorts of things have you had to say to your pets? I'm sure my cat isn't the only one who is naughty/constantly on drugs (catnip) and freaking out like she just remembered (again) that she lives here.

"If you’d just hold still I could help you get this poop off your butt!"
"Did you have a good breakfast?" (I don’t know why I ask her this every day lol.)

My cat also is obsessed with the toilet. Likes to watch it flush and fell in when she was a kitten.

 

[sunshineforJesus]

I mostly tell my cats how much I love them,and the tabby how sweet he is.I mostly tell our moody forest cat to be a nice kitty and not to bite or scratch,I also have to repeatedly tell her to stop smacking the ferret and bullying the poor thing.

 

[Goonie]

"Never think outside the box(litter tray)"!