Therapists

[Alecto]

Allright, what does it take to get through to a parent that you dont get along with therapists?

One broke down crying, one refused to treat me anymore, one put me on 8 different medications (Yes 8), one reccomended time for me in an institution.

I can twist these people like friggin play-dough and make them think Im everything from a serial killer to mentally retarded and my parents STILL dont get it.

Theyre insisting I see a therapist untill I move out. Ive been through 14 therapists in the last 5 years and Ive hated every one of them. I do give them an honest try but they end up slapping a label on me or trying to put me on a medication or classify me and I friggin hate it.

It IS rather fun to toy with the therapist, but its getting old. I mean there are only so many ways you can mess with a human being. Plus Ive studdied some psychology so I know what they look for and what triggers what reaction.

Why are the parents so adamant about this therapist thing?

 

[ChristianDude777]

I can twist these people like friggin play-dough and make them think Im everything from a serial killer to mentally retarded and my parents STILL dont get it.

Hey Alecto,

Why not stop toying with them and actually try talking to one...? It sounds like things would be a lot easier on you and it might actually do some good..

Might be wirth a try.

God bless..

Tim L.

 

[Alecto]

I have tried, but like I said, they start analyzing what Im saying before I even finish. Every therapist Ive met so far has done that

 

[bethdinsmore]

Allright, what does it take to get through to a parent that you dont get along with therapists? ...Why are the parents so adamant about this therapist thing?

I don't know why the parents are so adamant, unless it's because they've seen a lot of good results out there, and think that's the best help for you. I imagine you have gotten through to them that you don't get along with therapists. But they still have hope that one will be able to help.

Second point, it could be the therapists have been interrupting because they are misinterpreting your pauses or your body language.

How about trying a couple of things for a change. You might try out a Christian counselor/therapist if you haven't already. And then set up some boundaries right off the bat. They could ask you, before they respond, "Are you ready to hear my opinion?" That way, if you weren't finished with your comment, you could go on. And when they spoke, if they had misunderstood what you were saying, you could have a pre-arranged signal (other than verbal) to signal them to stop. Something else I have tried that works - writing them letters explaining my feelings. If you try to cooperate with them, most will reciprocate.

I am taking this seriously, and I hope you are too. I've been there and done that, and some of my counselors I didn't like a bit, but each one helped (we moved a lot), as did Christian recovery groups such as Overcomers. Why do I recommend Christians? Because I know it works.

Don't give up hope trying to find a therapist you can communicate with...Sooner started, soonest ended.

Wishing you the best, friend.
Aloha in Jesus

 

[Alecto]

Why would a Christian counselor be any different than a regular one?

 

[TrueQ]

I have tried, but like I said, they start analyzing what Im saying before I even finish. Every therapist Ive met so far has done that

Lol, I almost reported you instead of quoting.

Anyway, you know therapists are paid to do more or less exactly that, it's their job, and you ask me they get pretty good at it if you just stick with them and let them get to know you. Of course, you need to want their help before it does you any good, and most people will never take the advice of someone they look down on anyway. Be aware of that, and please don't let therapists forced upon you color your opinion of them later on if you want to seek actual help.

P.S. Therapists also make great drinking buddies, they'll analyze the whole group in two or three anecdotes and custom fit behaviour and do all sorts of wacky stuff just to see how you react (Don't let them know I'm on to them, they might start doing something else).

 

[ALIOSIAS]

Why not give up on therapy (which is a dead end road)? It will never change you.
What you need is a supernatural experience that will change the way you perceive life. Its not your life that needs to be changed but your perception of it. You believe in the supernatural - don't you?

 

[Milla]

Some people think that therapy will solve anything, in my experience, or that if therapy won't solve it, psychiatric drugs will. While therapy, and medication, can be invaluable tools, if there's a life situation that needs dealing with and correcting, no amount of talking and pill-popping is going to resolve the issue. I get very frustrated with the way pop-psychology seems to have merged with clinical psychology in the US.

 

[bethdinsmore]

Hi again, Alecto
You asked me (I think) why a Christian counselor would be better than a regular one. Because they may have the same training as the others, but they probably also have more behavioral counseling based on the Scriptures, and rely on God for direction as they work with their clients.

I realize this may sound strange to you, since you are posting in a non-Christian thread, but all I can say is, it works. So do Christian recovery groups, such as Overcomers.

It's hard to measure therapists' effectiveness sometimes, but I can also give this example concerning the physical world: I had various health problems for years. I went to various doctors and had a lot of tests done. It wasn't until I went to Christian doctors that I was diagnosed, and helped with my angina and strokes through medication. Later I was healed completely of those two things through prayer.

Isa 55:10-11 As the rain and the snow come down from heaven, and do not return to it without watering the earth and making it bud and flourish, so that it yields seed for the sower and bread for the eater, so is my word that goes out from my mouth: It will not return to me empty, but will accomplish what I desire and achieve the purpose for which I sent it. (NIV)

Heb 4:12 For the word of God is living and active. Sharper than any double-edged sword, it penetrates even to dividing soul and spirit, joints and marrow; it judges the thoughts and attitudes of the heart. (NIV)

I have found that my emotional pain has paid big dividends in the long run. "My misery became my ministry, and my mess became my message." I pray that one day you too will be able to have all the pain behind you. Best wishes, my friend. God bless you.

Aloha in Jesus

 

[Alecto]

Actually in my experience, the religious counselors blame your lack of faith or non devotion to thier religion as your problem

 

[bethdinsmore]

I can see where they might, and I haven't concentrated on that, because I knew that wasn't the point of your post. All I can say is my own experience: that I began to be emotionally healed big time when I trusted in Christ alone as my sinbearer. I still had a lot of problems that had to be gradually worked through, and found that the fastest help was through the Christian counselors and recovery groups, as they depended on God and the Scriptures for wisdom. Not trying to push anything down your throat - that's just my personal experience.
aloha in Jesus

 

[ghs1994]

Why do you need counseling in the first place?

Honestly, what do you do that would merit such action?

I know my parents sent me to a counselor twice for behavior, which was a joke because I told them exactly what they wanted to hear.

I don't say this to try and convince you of anything or telling you to get religious. I had some neighbors who lived next door to me. I always saw how no matter what seemed to come into their lives, they always had this unexplainable joy. Now I had gone to church all my life and known about Jesus and God and such. But I never knew what it was to have a personal relationship with Him. I now know that joy because I trusted in Christ. I was saved in '94 and though I struggled at times, I continue to serve God with a fervent joyous heart.

You can do whatever you want to and search high and low for all types of satisfaction in this life. It all will end up empty and lonely. I know because I've done it all. There isn't much in this life that I haven't tasted. So whatever you're looking for, I hope somewhere in that you will find Jesus.

 

[Alecto]

I can see where they might, and I haven't concentrated on that, because I knew that wasn't the point of your post. All I can say is my own experience: that I began to be emotionally healed big time when I trusted in Christ alone as my sinbearer. I still had a lot of problems that had to be gradually worked through, and found that the fastest help was through the Christian counselors and recovery groups, as they depended on God and the Scriptures for wisdom. Not trying to push anything down your throat - that's just my personal experience.
aloha in Jesus

Ironically I was worse off emotionally when I DID accept Christ

 

[Harlan Norris]

What is going on that makes your parents send you to a therapist? I'm shure that their motivation is fear that once you are on your own, you will not be able to survive. This is a sign that they love you. No one wants to see their child living on the street or in jail or dead. However, one day, they may just give up. What happens then? The things I did as a child were " what I did ". The things my parents did were " what they did ". Believe it or not they are only responsible for " What they did ", not " what I did ".

 

[Alecto]

Its a pretty twisted way of saying "I love you"

 

[heron]

ghs1994 has a point--look at why your parents find it so necessary.
Is there another way you can help them accomplish their goals, without a therapist? Parents do this out of love, but also fear of something going horribly wrong, fear of losing you, and persistent advice from well-meaning friends.

Did the therapy work? Obviously therapy isn't the answer to every problem. It's beneficial when people feel stuck, and haven't figured a way out...or if they are oppressed and need an advocate...or if they need someone to listen. When it's not your choice, it's hard to give in--then, in a sense, you're admitting that your parents were right.

One negative thing that therapy does, is open your life up to criticism. You probably have had enough of that already! You are put in a vulnerable position, not by choice. If the therapist has rights to discuss your responses after the session, then that's one more area that you are losing control over your life. Here I go, analyzing before you've spoken, lol.

Sometimes Christian parents and friends can be pushy or self-righteous; I know, because I am one. We might have high standards for ourselves and wrongly for others. Some personalities are not content until they fix everything in people around them. "Fixing" is certainly not the heart of the gospel! or what God wants for your life. Grace.

I would figure out what it really is that bugs your parents, (not being able to talk to you, hiding things from them, illegal activities, medical needs, spiteful actions, or a general loss of control on their part) and present some other reasonable options to them.

The "love you" phrase --remember that they still remember you as an adorable toddler, an innocent baby, and they carry around some guilt about what they might have done. There's no perfect manual for raising kids, where they could just follow the rules and sit back.

 

[DIVA_for_Christ]

Ironically I was worse off emotionally when I DID accept Christ

A book that helped me understand the emotional and mental fights I was having and how they seemed to increase after I accepted Christ is by Joyce Meyers - The Battlefield of the Mind.

I definately recommend that you read this book. It will answer alot of questions you have.