Thank you for writing this post. It was awesome reading and very refreshing to the soul.
Hi graciesings,
I hope to be gentle and sensitive to your spirit in what I say here.
My very first encouragement to you is that you find a quiet place in your home. Kneel before a chair with a copy of the Scriptures in your hand. Pray. Pray hard and pray earnestly. Begin your prayer by thanking your Father, yes for the child of God, which is what you would claim to be, He is your Father, not your God when you address Him. Your relationship with your heavenly Father should be seen and understood as being at least as loving as your relationship with your earthly father. You are speaking to the one who created you; the one who caused that every day as you walk around there is oxygen for you to breath and food for you to eat. He is you Father and as you kneel there before Him your attitude should be with a heart that feels a greater love for Him than you have for even the most beloved member of your family.
I usually address Him as my Lord, not Father. Even then, I do love Him more deeply than my earthly father or anyone else I know.
Gracie, begin by giving this one who loves you more deeply than you can really even understand, thanks. Give thanks that He loves you; give thanks that he provides for your every need; give praise to Him for who He is and give thanks to His Son, His Sprit and His word. Let the words of your thanksgiving flow from a heart of thankfulness and a heart that fully realized that the only reason you are kneeling before that chair is because of a Father who loves you and has created you and all that you need to live.
Ask Him to forgive you your sins and list them specifically. Don't just say forgive me my sins and move on. Take time to consider as you kneel before Him each and every sin of your life that comes to mind. Your sin of unbelief before you knew Him. Your sin of rebellion to Him and any other sin you may have tucked away. Being angry at a school mate or unforgiving of someone that you believe has hurt you. Whatever your sins are and don't worry that you don't have any...we are all sinners before a holy God.
Finally, hold your copy of the Scriptures, your Father's love letter to you, in your hand and plead before Him. "Father, please, give me an unquenchable thirst to know you through your word. Give me your Holy Spirit that I might gain wisdom and understanding of all you have given me to understand. Please do not let me continue in ignorance of that which you desire that I know about you, your Son and your Spirit. I beg of you Father to open my eyes that I might see and know and follow the truth." Pour out your heart to your Father.
Gracie, for seven days go to that quiet place on your knees and pray the same thing. Make that same request known to your Father. Practice developing and nurturing this new relationship with your Father; your God. Set yourself in humbleness before Him and declare your love for Him and your most heartfelt desire to know His truth. The truth!
One of my teachers, a wonderful Christian woman who is a role model of mine, has recently given my class an extra credit assignment where we are supposed to spend 10 minutes alone with God (no people, gadgets, or distractions.) The assignment is to first ask God to be with us while we study Him, then read a certain Bible passage twice, pray about specific problems and questions, and then spend a few minutes listening for God to give us an answer. I love this assignment, and have turned it from the required 10 minutes to a 30 minute+ routine that I look forward to every night. I haven't been this on-fire and happy since I first discovered Christ in March, 2012. I enjoyed your suggestions on this prayer time. I often add confessions, thanksgiving, and a plea that God would work through me. As I pray tonight, I will try to include all you've mentioned.
Now, take your copy of the Scriptures and begin to read them. Starting with the new covenant, the book of Matthew. Each time in your day that you do this, begin with that same plea to your Father. "By your Spirit, give me understanding of the things that you would have me to know through your word." Don't dwell on word meanings; don't stop to look up some commentary, just read through the new covenant writings from Matthew to the Revelation of Jesus.
Once you have finished gleaning God's knowledge given you in the new covenant, then begin with the old covenant. If you are diligent in what you seek it will probably take you about a year to complete this task. Yes, it's a lot to ask of one as tender as 18, but there is really only one place that any one of us can find the truth about God and that is through His revelation to us. Preachers and priests can't tell us because if you've spent more than a week listening to them you know that that knowledge often depends on who you're listening to at the time. The only place where we can be assured that we are listening to and hearing the truth of God is when we are reading it directly from His word and have sought the wisdom of the Holy Spirit in understanding.
Now, I understand that as you read this advice you may well be thinking that it seems like such a daunting task and such a slow way to go about getting what you want 'now'! But here's what your Father has told you about finding Him. "I will be found by those who diligently seek for me."
Now, you are free to join whatever denomination of believers you feel is right if all that you want to be is a Christian. However, if your hearts desire is to be born again and thus begin to know and understand the wisdom of God, then there are no shortcuts. There are no, 'learn the bible in a week' plans. God tells us that we must be diligent in our seeking. Not, "Oh, I'll go along today or this week, but tomorrow I want to be chasing after something else." Diligent: adjective
1. constant in effort to accomplish something; attentive and persistent in doing anything: a diligent student.
2. done or pursued with persevering attention; painstaking: a diligent search of the files.
The word is translated 'diligent'.
Diligence doesn't come naturally to me. It is a gift from God
Is that really your hearts desire to find God and the truth that He has provided to us? Is your love for your Father really so great that you would make a great sacrifice of your time to truly know Him? Only you can answer these questions, but I assure you that if it is, your life will never be the same.
God bless you young one as you seek for Him and if I can be of any other help to you fell free to PM me.
In Christ, Ted
Believe me, Ted, as a girl who's heart was converted/saved in a non-denominational church, has Lutheran parents, and a Baptist mentor, this is a surprise. However, I feel that my Lord will follow me anywhere I am.
Also, in the spirit of praise I am in, I ask you to thank God for a recent miracle. Mom and I took my toddler brother to the doctor yesterday, because he had a 102 degree fever that didn't make any sense -- no flu symptoms, nothing. At the doctor's office, his temperature registered 104.5 degrees. While waiting to be seen, we noticed that my brother's ear was very red, and that was the same ear where he had bruised most of the cartilage running into the piano bench. The doctor said my brother had an bad infection in the ear that needed a strong antibiotic immediately. She said it could easily spread into the bloodstream or his brain; and if he got ANY worse or didn't look a LOT better by tomorrow, we needed to go to the ER immediately.
I spent a few hours last night praying that the baby's medicine would work. It has! The baby looks perfectly normal now! I don't know if other people call that God answering my prayers, but I am so thankful!
'
