The Virgin Thread

[StaySalty]

This thread is about virginity. Basically, it's open to anything you want to say on the subject (as long as it abides by CF rules of course).

I'll start by asking whether or not you are a virgin, and how important it is to you to marry a virgin?

 

[mixiejoeusa]

no i am not a virgin, but it does not matter if the b/f is or not, just as long as he is a christian. I feel that what is important, is 2 people love eachother and have the same love for God.

 

[Diane_Windsor]

I'll start by asking whether or not you are a virgin

You go first.

how important it is to you to marry a virgin?

A virgin mate is my ideal, but in this world . . .

If my future DH was brought up as a Christian then I would be extremely disappointed that he did not wait. He, being raised as a Christian, should know better.

OTHO, if my future DH was not raised in a Christian home then I would not be as disappointed because he lacked knoweldge and truth.

Diane

 

[StaySalty]

You go first.

I KNEW someone would say this

I didn't want to post this right away as I didn't want to scare any people away from posting. Anyway, in answer to the question, yes I am a virgin. It would be nice to marry another virgin, I would prefer it. But I'm not real picky on it so long as there's true love between us. I just don't want my wife comparing me to anyone else...

 

[Peter_james]

im not a virgin and i regret it thats why i think i should only go out with christians because there is more of an understanding....i dont think i would mind marrying a girl who wasnt a virgin coz i am not.....

 

[JourneyRain]

I am not a virgin. I don't really care if I marry a virgin or not. Just as long as he's a Christian, that's what matters now.

 

[songz777]

Im not fussed either way, its up to the Lord.

 

[thrach]

to me its important that I marry a virgin. I feel if she is not one then I wasted my time waiting and i'm being cheapened. I dont see how some of you just dont care, its not like shaking hands with someone. If I dont get what I want i'll simply just let myself die.

 

[Eagle_Wings]

I am one, and while it would be ideal to marry a virgin it's not something I'm counting on and it's not going to cause me to turn down the proposal! Like I saw somebody else mention, I just wouldn't want to be compared to the other people he's been with.

 

[bostonlass]

Well I don't think at my age anyone I would date would be since they'll probably be divorced.

 

[thrach]

I personally have a hard time understanding the honeymoon would be soo special if the virginity isn't mutual. Its like "thanks god its almost perfect except he/she didn't wait and I did". Why settle for second best? To me that just isn't good enough.

 

[Hope_0004]

Hmm... I don't really think that nonvirgins "compare" people to other people... is that true? I mean, yeah, having more experiences will obviously give you more knowledge than others, but if you're not the type of person who compares people to other people, you won't, and if you are, then you will.

Either way, I don't really think it is something to worry about... if you are with a nonvirgin and you are a virgin, I hope they know you're a virgin and will of course take that into consideration in any judgments they make on your performance. My guess would be someone would think it was so special you were giving them your virginity that they wouldn't be thinking of judging you, though.

 

[Breetai]

...I just wouldn't want to be compared to the other people he's been with.

I don't mean to single you out, this is something that I think a lot of people would feel.

I'm a long way from being a virgin, but I don't imagine that I would be comparing someone that I love so much (that I would marry her) to someone else. I think that if I were to love someone so much, in the way that God intends us to love someone, they would be at a level where every other person that I'd had sex with would me extremely insignificant. Love transcends all. At least, I like to think so.

On a totally contrary thought, there is part of my that would almost desire that my future wife (assuming that I actually marry one day!!!) would not be a virgin. To be honest, hot and wild sex is a bit fun...

On the other hand, virginity is a beautiful thing. I think that it's wonderful that you have something to share with someone special, which you've never shared with anyone else. I'm a little worried that I'd feel inadequet with a girl who'd never been with anyone else. I'd be worried that she'd be thinking the same thing that you are saying here; that you are being compared with past lovers. It's sort of a chain reaction.

 

[reverie_maiden]

I personally have a hard time understanding the honeymoon would be soo special if the virginity isn't mutual. Its like "thanks god its almost perfect except he/she didn't wait and I did". Why settle for second best? To me that just isn't good enough.

I have thought of this too. I am a virgin, but it is hard to find guys out there who haven't slept with some girl already. I mean it would be great to find a guy out there who is a Christian and a virgin...but nowadays it is almost unheard of.

 

[EmSchmem]

I personally have a hard time understanding the honeymoon would be soo special if the virginity isn't mutual. Its like "thanks god its almost perfect except he/she didn't wait and I did". Why settle for second best? To me that just isn't good enough.

My husband would disagree with you. I was quite promiscuous before I was a Christian and I can assure you that I am not second best. I can also assure you that our honeymoon was nothing short of beautiful.
Besides what makes you so great that you get to decide someone else is second best? Are you sinless in all areas?

 

[ondry]

I'm sorta chocked after reading the posts on this thread. Just wondering.. how can you sleep with someone else without knowing if it's gonna last, when you KNOW that God created this wonderful thing for TWO people to share TOGETHER? I'd think it really binds you in an extraordinary way, after all, God says that after having sex the two people are ONE.
I didn't know that is was normal to be an nonvirgin for unmarried Christians in America. I don't mean to critisize, but it's so unnatural to me that I don't really get it.

 

[EmSchmem]

Hmm... I don't really think that nonvirgins "compare" people to other people... is that true? I mean, yeah, having more experiences will obviously give you more knowledge than others, but if you're not the type of person who compares people to other people, you won't, and if you are, then you will.

Either way, I don't really think it is something to worry about... if you are with a nonvirgin and you are a virgin, I hope they know you're a virgin and will of course take that into consideration in any judgments they make on your performance. My guess would be someone would think it was so special you were giving them your virginity that they wouldn't be thinking of judging you, though.

I actually compare my husband all the time. Because of the love and the grace and the gift of this beautiful marriage that God has given us, I reflect all the time on how our love making is more beautiful than that sad stuff I experienced when I was so lost.

 

[Diane_Windsor]

I meant I as in "Me personally" dont want to be second best. I want to be worth waiting for and if I were to marry a non-virgin then I will feel I wasn't worth it because obviously the person didn't wait for me. I also don't see how mine could be appreciated if someone couldn't appreciate their own as to throw theirs away to someone else. I would also be very jealous that I wasn't first and only and that just wont fly with me because it would be too painfull.

What if God wants you to marry a widow/widower?

Diane

 

[thrach]

How am I to know what god wants? He gave us free will and he would also have to force me to marry the person if thats what he wanted and he wont do that due to our free will. If I love the person and i'm the best then I dont see why I wouldn't marry her. But still I dont want to be saving myself for nothing. I have alot of respect for sex and purity and I am waiting for that person who is mutually the same.

 

[Sketcher]

I am saving myself and want to marry someone who saved herself. Otherwise, there would be no point in saving myself. A virginity exchange has huge, unique blessings on a marraige, and I want them. God intended for marraige to have them, and I want mine to have them.

What if God wants you to marry a widow/widower?

Being as there aren't a lot of widows my age, I think that's highly unlikely. But I would make an exception in that case. I won't have to deal with the baggage that former party girls have to carry.