The Virgin Thread

[thrach]

Virginity does not equal purity.



Now am I your enemy because I tell you the truth?

Funny how we all refer it as such tho. I think you know what I mean, it doesn't take a genius.

 

[thrach]

Frankly, I have to admit, I'm blown away by the notion that someone would be unwilling to date or marry someone who had already engaged in sexual intercourse (trying to avoid using the V-word here), regardless of whether they had repented and lived a life of chastity ever since.

why? its no different from not dating someone for any other reason. Most people judge others by looks alone and out of the 6+ billion people on the planet I would think some of us still want to marry a virgin. I am unwilling to date or marry a non virgin because it disturbs me to think of what acts they have engaged in. Not to judge them but it just bothers me and i'm honest about it atleast, not like i'm willing to go out and break peoples hearts or anything. I dont want anyone who has done any sexual act at all. I can still be a persons friend regardless of what they have done and I wont go and say their a bad person or anything but I dont have to marry them.

 

[bostonlass]

why? its no different from not dating someone for any other reason. Most people judge others by looks alone and out of the 6+ billion people on the planet I would think some of us still want to marry a virgin. I am unwilling to date or marry a non virgin because it disturbs me to think of what acts they have engaged in. Not to judge them but it just bothers me and i'm honest about it atleast, not like i'm willing to go out and break peoples hearts or anything. I dont want anyone who has done any sexual act at all. I can still be a persons friend regardless of what they have done and I wont go and say their a bad person or anything but I dont have to marry them.

Exactly. It's jut preference. Personally I don't wish to marry a non-virgin for opposite reasons. I think it would be too freaky for me. Then again I wouldn't marry someone real young either so if say I date someone who is 40 years old and is still a virgin....I'm gonna be wondering why this person is still single. Granted there are exceptions but to me it just sends up a red flag. Maybe there is a true reason.....they were very ill for many years and now they're recovered, they were a priest before and now changed their mind, etc. I dunno, just would cause me to stop and wonder.Maybe they just have never found the "one".....that could be but to wait 40 years.....now *that* takes some strength!!!

 

[Harpuia]

Frankly, I have to admit, I'm blown away by the notion that someone would be unwilling to date or marry someone who had already engaged in sexual intercourse (trying to avoid using the V-word here), regardless of whether they had repented and lived a life of chastity ever since.

You just spat in the face of every virgin in this world who's searching for true love.

Chastity is not virginity. I don't care what anyone else says. Someone who's already had sex has already gone down that road and should've most certainly enjoyed it with their partner. Why must you suffer through your virginity until marriage while your partner didn't have to? What's the point of being a virgin if you can't find another virgin to be with?

It's easy as that.

 

[JourneyRain]

Okay, I have a serious question for all the virgins who only want to marry virgins. What are you going to do ask the person on the first date if they are a virgin? Or are you going to wait until you get further down the line in a relationship. What happens if you fall in love with someone who isn't a virgin and then you discover that they aren't a virgin. They didn't lie to you, you just didn't ask the question in the beginning so now what are you going to do. Break up with someone because they aren't a virgin although you are in love with them and want to be with them.

This is a serious question. Because when God forgives people why do we refuse the same. I have no problem with virgins wanting to marry virgins whatsoever but you have to realize that people who are no longer virgins may not want to reveal their sexual history to you unless they believe you will be "the one" so to speak.

 

[JourneyRain]

You just spat in the face of every virgin in this world who's searching for true love.

Chastity is not virginity. I don't care what anyone else says. Someone who's already had sex has already gone down that road and should've most certainly enjoyed it with their partner. Why must you suffer through your virginity until marriage while your partner didn't have to? What's the point of being a virgin if you can't find another virgin to be with?

It's easy as that.

Suffer, virginity is NOT suffering. Having sex outside of the confines of marriage is suffering irregardless of whether you liked it or not. Once you realize your mistake or meet someone that you wished you saved yourself for, you realize you wish you remain a virgin.
So please don't tell me virginity is suffering---that's just hormones.

 

[BeautyForAshes]

You just spat in the face of every virgin in this world who's searching for true love.

This is a little extreme and outlandish. If we were to follow this logic, then I gues you would be sptting in the face of all non-virgins, by your understanding on the purpose of virginity.

FYI - Virginity does not equate true love.

Chastity is not virginity. I don't care what anyone else says. Someone who's already had sex has already gone down that road and should've most certainly enjoyed it with their partner. Why must you suffer through your virginity until marriage while your partner didn't have to? What's the point of being a virgin if you can't find another virgin to be with?

It's easy as that.

I will agree. Chasity is not the same as virginity, nor are those "do everything else, but s*x" virgins either.

What's the point of being a virgin if you can't find another virgin to be with?

Could it be because when you look at things biblically (which is what all believers should be doing) sex is something that is reserved for marriage.

What if you never marry? Will you then continue to ask what's the point of being a virgin?

 

[Harpuia]

I will agree. Chasity is not the same as virginity, nor are those people that are "do everything else, but sex" virgins either.

Did I state I wanted a "do everything else, but sex" virgin? No. To me, they aren't exactly a virgin either. They're like the people who try to find loopholes in the lawbook. Cross the line too many times and plop. However, a chaste non-virgin I could never marry. I'd probably regret marrying a non-virgin, even a chaste one the rest of my life. I'd rather have someone who understands my pain and what I've gone through.

Could it be because when you look at things biblically (which is what all believers should be doing) sex is something that is reserved for marriage.

What if you never marry? Will you then continue to ask what's the point of being a virgin?

If my partner didn't wait till marriage, why should I? Who cares about Biblical? Were we made to be doormats?

 

[BeautyForAshes]

If my partner didn't wait till marriage, why should I? Who cares about Biblical? Were we made to be doormats?

Who cares about virginity being biblical? Then is the point of marrying a virgin just an ego thing?

I'm not being sarcastic in the least. I'm just trying to understand your logic, especially now after you state that you don't care about the biblical principles of virginity (which I thought was the whole point of this discussion).

Not to mention if a non-believer were to look at this thread and the implications that have been made about people who have had sex outside of marriage. What kind of witness is this?

 

[thrach]

Okay, I have a serious question for all the virgins who only want to marry virgins. What are you going to do ask the person on the first date if they are a virgin? Or are you going to wait until you get further down the line in a relationship. What happens if you fall in love with someone who isn't a virgin and then you discover that they aren't a virgin. They didn't lie to you, you just didn't ask the question in the beginning so now what are you going to do. Break up with someone because they aren't a virgin although you are in love with them and want to be with them.

This is a serious question. Because when God forgives people why do we refuse the same. I have no problem with virgins wanting to marry virgins whatsoever but you have to realize that people who are no longer virgins may not want to reveal their sexual history to you unless they believe you will be "the one" so to speak.

My answer to this question would be to just be friends and start out as friends anyway and find out. I've been asked before by girls if I was a virgin so I dont see why I shouldn't ask them. If someone is unwilling to answer then I think that would speak for itself. I am not willing to be in a relationship to break someones heart, I would find out beforehand.

 

[ardeur]

I think there is a big difference between those who believe it's ok to come as close to the line of sexual intercourse without actualy arriving there, and those who believe all sexual activity, intercourse or not, is forbidden before marrige yet have slipped up once or twice and repented.

If I am interested in a man who believes anything shy of intercourse is fine before marriage, then I wouldn't consider a relationship with him just like I wouldn't with someone who believes in permartial intercourse. Yet, if this person has any past mistakes, and has since repented and changed his ways, then I have no issues with entering a relationship with him. I am not so convinced that temptation will be any more difficult for the person who has once slipped up and repented than for those who have never had intercouse. I am a virgin and I believe that with true repentence and with a walking relationship with the Lord, two people can experience a wonderful first time (and a lifetime) together.

 

[aReformedPatriot]

Part of me would be sad if I found out the woman I was in a relationship with was not a virgin, but it would not keep me from pursuing the relationship. I count it as a praise that God should bring her unto repentance where she would be living chast since then. Should we count ourselves above any other person, thinking of ourselves more highly than we ought?

By the Grace of Christ, No. Recall the verse in acts and the implications thereof "What God has made clean, do not call unclean."

 

[aReformedPatriot]

You know what? You are so right. Virginity != purity.

However, I believe a non-virgin (not married) can never be pure.
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This is scripturally not accurate. Purity in the bible is so much bigger than just sexual chastity. It encompasses the fullness of life. We are exhorted to only engage in pure things, whether speech, actions, or sex. God ordains us to be no less than to "be Holy as I am Holy." Since we all know that nothing impure can enter heaven, and since by default of sin we are defiled, Christ's death upon the cross bought anyone who should trust and rely in his name, holiness which is nothing less than purity. Thus making any non-virgin trusting in him, as pure and as spotless as any virgin walking the planet.

 

[Diane_Windsor]

Why must you suffer through your virginity until marriage while your partner didn't have to? What's the point of being a virgin if you can't find another virgin to be with?

That sounds vindictive and childish, which is the wrong reason for wanting to exclusively date/marry virgins. You sound like a martyr when you are not

Suffering!?!? Do you even know the meaning of that term? You have just insulted our persecuted brethren around the world who worship admist threats of torture, death, etc. Have you read about any of the early Christian martyrs who were fed to the lions and other wild beasts at the colisieum? Have you watched The Passion? That is suffering, struggling to keep your virgnity until marriage is not-and this comes from a person with a strong sex drive.

For a Christian, the point of being a virgin is to obey God's laws on sex and marriage.

I'd rather have someone who understands my pain and what I've gone through.

Again, I suggest that you read up on the early Christian martyrs like Ignatius of Antioch who were fed to the lions.

If my partner didn't wait till marriage, why should I? Who cares about Biblical?

If you claim to be a follower of Christ then you should most definately care on what His Word says on the subject.

Diane

 

[the_man]

Absolutely nothing good to say so, on this rare occasion, I will refrain.

 

[jenptcfan]

reopening after mod clean up.

 

[lunalinda]

Virgin here...23 years old. And yes, my virginity is important to me. Why is it important to me? Because it's something that belongs to my husband. It'e the one pure thing I have that I can't ever take back if I gave it away to someone who didn't deserve it. And giving it away to just anyone as if I didn't care about it is just a way of slapping my husband in the face telling him he's not worth keeping myself pure for. And frankly, I love the fact that he will be the ONLY one I'd be sexual with. Come on, what guy WOULDN'T love knowing that his wife won't ever know another man's body other than his own? What man WOULDN'T want to be the only lover his wife was ever with? And heck, in secular terms, she won't be able to compare him to past lovers if she's never had lovers before him, and hence, wouldn't be able to say that someone else is "better" in bed, ya know? The guy can rest at ease from wondering if he's the "best" she's ever had. If she's a virgin, then he'd be the best because he's the only. Being the only makes him the best. I just hope that my future husband will appreciate that fact, that I'm quite literally his own, and that I loved him enough to keep myself for him even before he was in my life.

Now yes, I would prefer to marry a virgin for the same reasons. I'm not saying I won't marry a non-virgin, because I think I would, but what I'm trying to say is...when he's already given himself away in that sense, then what new thing can I have from him? Sometimes I can't stomach the fact that some other woman had him in every way before I did. Some other woman. How would I ever really know if I mean more to him than that other woman? The only answer I can think of is basically his commitment level...that he'll never leave my side. And I guess that'll suffice. But well...even now it kinda hurts knowing that my future spouse might not see me as a good enough reason to hold off on the best physical pleasure he'll experience simply because he wanted to satisfy that one moment. I want to mean MORE to my husband...more than some woman who wasn't even meant for him.

It's not a demand, though, to marry a non-virgin. Just a preference. It'd be nice knowing that I'm the only woman he'll ever have sex with, and that he can't compare me to anyone else. It'd be nice indeed. That we'd only know each other. That'd we'd be the only lovers in each other's lives. A non-virgin can pull that off too I think. It would just be much more difficult.

 

[Breetai]

I'm sorta chocked after reading the posts on this thread. Just wondering.. how can you sleep with someone else without knowing if it's gonna last, when you KNOW that God created this wonderful thing for TWO people to share TOGETHER?

That's an easy one. We all have a sinful nature. We wrestle against ourselves everyday. Sex is just one of these things.

 

[Breetai]

...I believe a non-virgin (not married) can never be pure.

Where does that come from? It's completely un-Biblical AND it doesn't make much sense in the secular world, IMO.

 

[Breetai]

I am unwilling to date or marry a non virgin because it disturbs me to think of what acts they have engaged in.

Have you ever masterbated?

Chastity is not virginity. I don't care what anyone else says. Someone who's already had sex has already gone down that road and should've most certainly enjoyed it with their partner. Why must you suffer through your virginity until marriage while your partner didn't have to? What's the point of being a virgin if you can't find another virgin to be with?

It's easy as that.

Have you ever masterbated? Have you ever looked at pornography? Have you ever masterbated while looking at pornography or while thinking of partaking in the act of sex?