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GodAndChocolateVanilla

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I think I have Married the wrong man.

God dislikes divorce but what if there is no actual love between the two who are Married??

I have been more in love with the idea of being in love and Married than waiting for the right one from God.

I don't know what to do now.

What do you do when you Married the wrong person?

My Husband also tells me he hates me a lot and that I am a "chore".

He has also called me hurtful names which I will not repeat here. But they are not good names to call anyone!!

I keep trying to make it work but now I wish I had just waited for the right one.

And deep down I know I am not truly in love with him either.

I wish I had found True Love, and not rushed into a Marriage that is wrong.

I think deep down I've known all along that he is not my Soulmate, and I am not his Soulmate either.

I am also wrong for Marrying him when I was not truly in love with him.

All I can do is pray to God now.
 
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GodAndChocolateVanilla

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I wish I had waited and stayed celibate until GOD gave me a Husband/Soulmate.

I did not wait for God and I suffered because of my own sin.
 
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GodAndChocolateVanilla

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I prayed to GOD for a Husband/Soulmate when I was 11.

Then I did NOT obey God and I sinned and committed fornication.

Then I prayed again for the right man and said I would wait.

But I rushed into a Marriage that was not right.

It is laughable how much I have failed.

At this point I should just accept that I am a failure and don't deserve anything from God.

But I do hope one day I am forgiven and saved by Him.

I do not want to be a horrible person forever. Please GOD forgive me.
 
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GodAndChocolateVanilla

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GOD I am not good!!

I was NOT a good child either.

I treated other kids badly as a child. I was a bully!!

I am a fornicator!!

I am a sinner!!!!

I admit it!!

I don't deserve another chance.


I am WRONG!!!!

GOD I failed You.
 
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GodAndChocolateVanilla

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I was NOT looking for You with all my heart before!!

But now, I want to try!!

All I can do is pray to You God and tell myself God made me.

I want to give up but something in me doesn't want to give up fully.

You did not send a ride home to me that night for no reason!!!! I had no way to get back to the place I was living at that time but You MADE A WAY GOD!!!! You made a way for me to get back!! You sent a Christian Married Couple to give me a car ride back to where I was staying. When there was no way, You Made A Way!!


I want to come back to You God!!!!
 
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GodAndChocolateVanilla

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I don't think him calling me "dumb" is very loving.

I am wrong, but he is wrong too.

At least I want to change, meanwhile he does not want to change apparently!!
 
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GodAndChocolateVanilla

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If he doesn't even like me.... then he can leave me then. I don't think I should be called bad names my whole life.

I won't force a man to stay with me if he doesn't want to be with me.

If he doesn't love me either, then there's really no point in us staying together.
 
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GodAndChocolateVanilla

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I am wrong for my own sins, but I feel judged by the man I chose to marry.

I don't think this is True Love!!

It is not okay to call your spouse bad names.
 
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GodAndChocolateVanilla

Hugging God and Chocolate ^w^ =3
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Thank You God!! Today was a better day for me. I got to spend time with You!! :):):hug::hug::cookie::cookie::custard::custard:

I was happy to talk to You God while sitting outside today!! :hug::hug::hug::hug::):):cookie::cookie::custard::custard:
 
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