The Truth About It

[PropheticHugs]

I myself am guilty to say I have struggled so extreamly badly with the common masturbation. (I hate that word)

Most people say there are no sciptures in the bible about masturbation, but i found this one :

MARK 9:43
43If your hand causes you to sin, cut it off. It is better for you to enter life maimed than with two hands to go into hell, where the fire never goes out

For the past month I have been struggling with it so badly and I needed to find the answers. Which is strange, because to begin with I knew OF that scripture, but I thought nothing of it. I also came across this well known scripture:

1 CORINTHIANS 10:12-13
12So, if you think you are standing firm, be careful that you don't fall! 13No temptation has seized you except what is common to man. And God is faithful; he will not let you be tempted beyond what you can bear. But when you are tempted, he will also provide a way out so that you can stand up under it.

I have more to say, but I'm getting kicked off the computer. Leave your comments and I'll be back on in about a half hour!

In God's love,
Heather

 

[Mr.Cheese]

I believe the scripture about the hand is Jesus' use of hyperbole in order to stress the importance of doing whatever is necessary to eliminate sin from your life.
The hand does not cause one to sin. The mind does. Cut off your hand and you will find another way to continue the behavior.

As far as masturbation goes, I am proud of you for being able to mention it.
I truly don't see anything wrong with it. Granted, you should not let anything control your life. For instance, I think the need to watch too much TV is far worse than masturbation. Or...anything else that occupies too much of your time and attention.

My advice to you is don't worry about it so much. Really. I believe that this issue is at the bottom of God's "to-do" list concerning your life. Even James Dobson thinks that it shouldn't be an issue.
Chances are that it's going to happen. Don't worry about it when it does. Someday you'll get it figured out. I believe that letting masturbation discourage you is the real enemy to watch out for.

 

[RSteel]

I really think Cheese put the fire out on that one with his words...lol I had the same struggle at your age...I got on the Internet and read everything I could about masturbation (because I didn't want to talk to anyone about it...eventually I did). It just all came out eventually...lol Honestly...getting on the Internet (where I first became concerned about masturbation) helped me the most. Because at first I didn't want to turn to a real person and talk about it (you've found a great way to express yourself through these forums, btw). Then after I read about it from legit websites (not porn websites), I became more confident and could express myself more. Eventually, I kinda passed through the masturbation phase and on to different things. Anyways, it's great you've come out and expressed yourself on this issue. Keep going because there's so much more in the years to come. I'm not intrinsically a part of your life, so I don't know what you're thinking, but I was 15 once, and I remember my own experiences during that time. I have to say that 15 seemed to be the busiest time of my life (but doesn't every year seem like that? lol). Anyways, that's all I have now...I suggest you stay very close to God, your Bible, church...all that during your high school years!!! You don't necessarily have to go to church to be a Christian, but it certainly helps. Just because you may/may not drop out of church for x amount of time doesn't disqualify you as a Christian. But, even though you may be ashamed to go to church (I was for a long, long time), just go anyways. I was ashamed at a certain point in my life to go to church, but looking back now I see I had ABSOLUTELY NOTHING to be ashamed of. I was ashamed because of my thoughts and subsequent actions. I didn't think I fitted in, but I did...always. I see now that my thoughts and subsequent actions was my way (only way) of leaving a painful world and entering a better one. That's all I have...God Bless!

"Today's mighty oak was just yesterday's nut that held it's ground."

 

[PropheticHugs]

I don't understand. Then someone else help me out. If lust is sooo extreamly bad for Christians, how can touching yourself be nothing. That's what masturbation is! Entertaining ourselves with these lustful fantasies. Its ridiculous! Im soo complately confused about it.

 

[janny108]

It helps us to know that lust is ANY activity outside of marriage that is outside God's guidelines for love and sex. It can take many forms. You may stop masturbation for awhile, but if you don't deal with the root causes, it will eventually come back. Root causes can be loneliness, depression, anxiety, boredom, uneasiness with people of the opposite sex (if you are single), etc.

I've read stories from the website and most all have this in common: they got started as a young teen because of exposure in their parent's/friends's home, they stopped for awhile, but then it came back. It did not go away when they got married, it got worse and led to other things, thus becoming more powerful and making the person doing it less powerful (in dealing in their own strength about it). If we know God, He wants us pure and holy. He wants to protect that which is good and holy that He has made. If we turn away from things like p & m, we are honoring what He has made good (sex in marriage).
He will enable us if we are honest and seek His help.
Jan

 

[RSteel]

I'm not realy a psychologist or anything or a Bible expert, but I think that lust is a sign for a deeper yearning for God. Sometimes desire can be the most powerful thing, but I think it was put there for our advancement towards God, and not necessarily towards other people/things etc.

 

[considering]

I myself am guilty to say I have struggled so extreamly badly with the common masturbation. (I hate that word)

Most people say there are no sciptures in the bible about masturbation, but i found this one :

MARK 9:43
43If your hand causes you to sin, cut it off. It is better for you to enter life maimed than with two hands to go into hell, where the fire never goes out

For the past month I have been struggling with it so badly and I needed to find the answers. Which is strange, because to begin with I knew OF that scripture, but I thought nothing of it. I also came across this well known scripture:

1 CORINTHIANS 10:12-13
12So, if you think you are standing firm, be careful that you don't fall! 13No temptation has seized you except what is common to man. And God is faithful; he will not let you be tempted beyond what you can bear. But when you are tempted, he will also provide a way out so that you can stand up under it.

I have more to say, but I'm getting kicked off the computer. Leave your comments and I'll be back on in about a half hour!

In God's love,
Heather

We are sexual creatures. If you think that you can pray to God and He will make you stop thinking sexual fantasies or stop getting horny, that is not going to happen. I went through that phase too when I was your age. It does not go away; we were created sexual. Sex is hardwired into us. Getting horny is caused by natural biological chemical things that go on in the body and the brain that are beyond our control. We don't make ourselves get horny. When those chemicals surge, the only way go make them stop is to touch.

Notice I am being blunt? This topic should be talked about more bluntly.

So, like I said, the only way to keep those surges under control is to touch. You cannot just close your eyes, hold your breath and count to 1 million, because that won't stop the chemicals or make them go away. Taking cold showers and all that other stupid stuff won't make the chemicals go away either. Anything you do will not work, except masturbation.

Don't feel bad about it. You shouldn't become addicted to masturbation though. Only do it to make those urges go away.

 

[considering]

It helps us to know that lust is ANY activity outside of marriage that is outside God's guidelines for love and sex. It can take many forms. You may stop masturbation for awhile, but if you don't deal with the root causes, it will eventually come back. Root causes can be loneliness, depression, anxiety, boredom, uneasiness with people of the opposite sex (if you are single), etc.

This isn't true. The only reason anyone masturbates is because they get a surge of chemicals.

I've read stories from the website and most all have this in common: they got started as a young teen because of exposure in their parent's/friends's home, they stopped for awhile, but then it came back.

This is not true either. The first time I masturbated I had never heard of it before or seen it. I invented it. And I was not even a teen yet.

Furthermore, it does not stop for a while and then come back. It begins, and it continues until you die.

It did not go away when they got married, it got worse and led to other things, thus becoming more powerful and making the person doing it less powerful (in dealing in their own strength about it).

I guess it could become addicting and overpower someone, and that would be very unhealthy.

If we know God, He wants us pure and holy. He wants to protect that which is good and holy that He has made. If we turn away from things like p & m, we are honoring what He has made good (sex in marriage).
He will enable us if we are honest and seek His help.
Jan

Masturbation isn't a big deal. It's a simple and natural way of satisfying our sexual needs so that we don't go out and act on our building sexual tensions and get AIDs or something.

 

[kamandor7]

Hello everyone,

I am brand new here. I came here because I need your help. I typed "Christian teen forum" on Google and look where I am!

Lately I've been struggling with masturbation, but not how you would think. My problem is that I do not touch much at all - maybe once or twice a month, and not to pornography. My problem is that I seem to get 'wet dreams' once or twice a month as well, and I am almost 18 years old! I used to touch quite frequently, around 3 or 4 times a week, but I stopped because it was getting ridiculous. That means I stopped looking at pornography, which is something I struggled with.

My problem is that these wet dreams are annoying, embarassing, and seemingly preventable if I would just "release my built-up tension" by masturbating semi-regularly, which I don't, and so it seems I have quite erotic fantasies in my sleep and have wet dreams.

I feel like I'm stuck, I mean, I don't want to start looking at pornography again and get suckered into that trap, but I also am sick of having wet dreams caused by a lack of masturbation. Experts say males sexual urges peak around 19 years old, so I feel like I am "stifling" my body and forcing it to release in my sleep.

I hope I wasn't being to graphic, and I'm hoping the guys on these boards especially will be able to help me out! BTW, I don't have a girlfriend and am not sexually active although I had oral sex with a girl almost a year ago which I am terribly ashamed of. But I have asked for forgiveness and am at peace with the Lord and myself now.

Thanks a million!

Rob

 

[Mr.Cheese]

My concern for you and anyone else is this: discouragement.
Discouragement renders you useless.

So here...

As you try to master yourself, don't get down on yourself when things happen. Things will happen. It takes our whole lives for God to shape us, continually he is working in our lives.

 

[Luka_H]

I totally agree. its like far worse to be discouraged than to worry bout masturbation. If u r doin it with porno & lust stuff yeah maybe, but if its just to get the rocks off and get on with life i dont see the problem. I am so over wakin up in the mornin and tryin to beat my dad to the laundry b4 he sees i gotta wash my bedding stuff twice a week. yeah the dreams are kewl but the cleanup aint worth it.
I dont have a problem with porn and I aint into havin sex... at least till i marry the God given girl of my life.
I guess its like pickin ure nose... the booger has GOT to come out... just dont pull the sucker out in public.

 

[Vilnius]

I don't understand. Then someone else help me out. If lust is sooo extreamly bad for Christians, how can touching yourself be nothing. That's what masturbation is! Entertaining ourselves with these lustful fantasies. Its ridiculous! Im soo complately confused about it.

You will find plenty of disagreement between Christians on masturbation. You have already seen the two basic stances on the issue on this thread. I did not grow up as a Christian. My life followed the typical path that so many people warn about masturbation/lust. Only in my 3os did I start living as a Christian and it was plenty obvoius to me that the warnings on lust are on target and masturbation played a big part in it.

This is a forum to help those like you who are struggling with sexual issues, not for debate. But, while I understand that those who say not to worry about masturbation mean only the best, I can't agree given Mathew 5:28 and Job 31:1. And While Dr. Dobson says " I hope you won't feel the need for it, but don't worry if you do." ,his own organization--Focus on the Family--sent a teen friend of mine who had questions about masturbation a free copy of "Every Young Man's Battle" which is very strongly against masturbation.

I highly recommend the following books to help you make up your mind, or if you already have made up your mind, to help you break this habit.

"Not Even a Hint" by Joshua Harris. You can find it at just about any online book store. A truly super book for girls is "My Beautiful Feeling" by walter and Ingrid Trobisch. I can only find it at Quiet Waters Publications at their web site.

Praise God

 

[considering]

Hello everyone,

I am brand new here. I came here because I need your help. I typed "Christian teen forum" on Google and look where I am!

Lately I've been struggling with masturbation, but not how you would think. My problem is that I do not touch much at all - maybe once or twice a month,

That's less than the norm. Given your age, you must be putting up quite a fight.

and not to pornography

Yeah, that can be addicting and unhealthy.

My problem is that I seem to get 'wet dreams' once or twice a month as well, and I am almost 18 years old!

So? Why do you make the comment that you're 18 and still having wet dreams? Wet dreams are not a sign of immaturity. It's a subconscious signal that you are depriving your body of its sexual needs, unless you are remembering an image you have seen before from a movie or something.

I used to touch quite frequently, around 3 or 4 times a week

That's about average for a male of your age.

but I stopped because it was getting ridiculous.

Maybe you mean you were "going too far" with it or something? Or maybe you mean you were doing it too often?

I think sexual needs are like hunger needs. You need to satisfy your sexual needs in just the same way that you need to satisfy your hunger. Sometimes people get curious about their body. Don't be ashamed of your curiosity. Just don't do anything stupid.

That means I stopped looking at pornography, which is something I struggled with.

That is probably a good idea. Male teens can often get addicted to porn, which is not healthy.

My problem is that these wet dreams are annoying, embarassing, and seemingly preventable if I would just "release my built-up tension" by masturbating semi-regularly, which I don't, and so it seems I have quite erotic fantasies in my sleep and have wet dreams.

You are correct. Your body is trying to get what you are denying it. If you don't touch, you will have wet dreams. If you touch, you will still have some wet dreams, but they will probably occur less often. That's just the way it is.

I don't really understand the guilt. Do you feel bad when you eat a chocolate treat? No. Why should you feel bad if you touch? You're making the sexual "hunger" go away. So no, there should be no guilt involved.

I feel like I'm stuck, I mean, I don't want to start looking at pornography again and get suckered into that trap

You shouldn't.

but I also am sick of having wet dreams caused by a lack of masturbation.

Solution: touch without porn

Experts say males sexual urges peak around 19 years old, so I feel like I am "stifling" my body and forcing it to release in my sleep.

You are.

I hope I wasn't being to graphic, and I'm hoping the guys on these boards especially will be able to help me out!

Well, I am not a guy, but I am speaking from my own sexual experience. I used to struggle with guilt, thinking that sexual urges were caused by my own sin nature and that I was "giving in." The truth is, sexual urges are like hunger pains. When you're hungry, you go eat. When you're horny, you touch or have sex (if you're married). Feeling the "urge" isn't caused by your sin nature any more than hunger is. It's an instinct.