The Time Has Come Part IV

[christianfilmcrew]

So I go organize the insurance and try and save my wife some money by just splitting the bill into seperate billing and I find out today she went and cancelled my insurance! All she had to do was remove her car and name from the policy!

So far these are the bridges that have been burned:

1. Not able to see her where she lives (parents are dangerous people)
2. Not able to see her at lunch break or before work
3. She stopped attending church on the weekends so I can't see her there
4. She has cancelled set up her own bank account
5. She has cancelled my insurance, even tho she would have been better off with just a split bill
6. She tried to undermine my apartment and tried to cancel the apartment lease on me
7. She has got me banned from a hotel because she has a history of calling security on people (many others other than me), when she doesn't get her way
8. She refuses to protect the marriage from infidelity

 

[madison1101]

It sounds to me as if she is initiating the split. If you want the marriage to end, and she does the dirty work of ending your union, then she is freeing you from your obligation to your vows. If not, I understand your pain and anger.

 

[LostnFound]

Wow...talk about doors slamming in your face. Hang tough. I have no advice, except pray,pray,pray. Keep us posted.

 

[Henaynei]

no matter what the provocation - this has to hurt.....

 

[christianfilmcrew]

Hey all, it looks like I could well be dealing with someone who has Borderline Personality Disorder.

I'm seeing a Christian Psych today to have the situation assessed. Evidence appears strong that this is indeed what I have been going through in my marriage....

There is good info on bpd at www.bpdcentral.com

 

[Henaynei]

I pray they will help you find answers to deal with your situation CFC

 

[christianfilmcrew]

I missed the appointment with the counsellor I thought it was 1pm and it was noon.

I got a call from my wife today, and she said she was filing for divorce...

???

 

[Henaynei]

I'm sorry CFC.....

 

[desi]

My advice is to act different than you are, and have been, toward her.

 

[christianfilmcrew]

Yeah now I know what I am dealing with I am better equipped to respond in the opposite spirit.

They say there is no treatment for BPD, and only when a BPD admits they have a problem then they might start to be healed but the road then is hard...

The problem with BPD is they paint you as all white or all black. Once they have painted you as black, it just gets worse and worse...

It doesn't seem to matter what you do because it is all about their beliefs, their feelings determine their reality, rather than the other way around...

All I can do is pray and try and walk as God teaches us to walk. I made a promise to God when I said my wedding vows, I don't intend to break them now... Unfortunately I have no control over what my wife does...

If she chooses to file for divorce, I can't stop her. But even if she files for divorce, I will sign to let her go, but I'll still be on my knees praying for the restoration of our marriage. It may be the only way to show her that I did marry her because I loved her and not because of what she believes I married her for.