The Spiritual Battle Has Gotten to Me So Badly

[Nicole Roberson]

Hi everyone.

I hope everyone is safe and healthy and continues to be so, especially at this time. As for me, my family and I are safe, healthy, and grateful to God for everything. I cannot thank Him enough.

In the past I've shared by testimony but I thought I'd provide an update since much more has happened. I've been a Christian my entire life. I am 20 years old, soon to transfer from community college to university for the fall. There's just a lot that I'm suffering emotionally and mentally due to this spiritual battle. The attacks first began in the summer of 2018. It just happened out of nowhere one day, since then my mind has been filled with the worst thoughts I've ever heard about God, Jesus Christ, the Holy Spirit. Unspeakable, awful thoughts. They've changed over time, like the Devil is changing around the phrases based on what upsets me the most to hear or something. But whatever the thoughts are at this time and that time, they just repeat themselves over and over again, throughout the day. Strangely they seem to get worse by the evening like at around 5pm. I don't know why. Then a wave of distress and fear comes over me. This happens at other times of the day, but I notice this particularly happening often in the evening.

Since this battle has started, I've struggled with so much. It's just so upsetting to me, I'm constantly in tears. I've made these events known to my mom, who has been going over God's word with me and helping me memorize scripture. She's explained to me so much about this battle. The devil's time is short so he's attacking Christians left and right. I know that the devil is a liar and an accuser of the brethren and the things he's told me are just from the pits of hell. I know that God doesn't want me to give up, to ever give in. And I shall not, I refuse to give up. But it's so hard. It's so hard to deal with these things in my head. It's just gotten so bad. So, so bad. I'm in tears as I type this, because I get so emotional as it's difficult to talk about this.

Part of what makes this battle worse is my tendencies to overthink, over-worry, and over-analyze. In doing this it just badly affects how i deal with this battle and how I perceive the things in my head. I know I'm coming closer to God's word. I finally purchased my own bible. Before that I was either using my mom's or looking for specific scripture online. I want nothing more than to understand God's word, and to live by God's word, and to build my faith. I understand that without faith it's impossible to please God and i want nothing more than to please Him and do His works. I'm glad I came to understand now that this is how our faith is justified, not in my own works or own merit. And so I want to understand this and that I'm focusing on God only. I want to be at peace, knowing God's word and so I remember the truth, His plan for me. I know that despite the pandemic, this is the time for me to grow closer to God and immerse myself in His word. But as I'm striving for this, I know that satan is trying to prevent this.

There's just so much craziness inside of my head. Some of the most ridiculous thoughts pop up out of nowhere. I'll be thinking about God, talking to Him and then some crazy not out of nowhere comes. It's blasphemous, sometimes with a sexual undertone and I just become so disgusted by it. Often either in the middle of or the end of a prayer than swear words will be inserted. I'll say amen and then a curse word pops up. I'm being plagued by these feelings of doubt, uncertainty and fear as I'm trying to talk with God and get His help. Now there's things in my head telling me such like,

"Don't you know that you stopped believing in God?"

"Prayer is pointless so don't bother."

"God doesn't hear you anymore, He left you."

An so on so forth. And worst of all, there have been times when I've found myself almost believe that this is coming from me and that's becoming of me. I become terrified by this. Recently several times I've woken up in the middle of the night with these thoughts and feelings and I thought I was a having a breakdown. Horrible things telling me that my heart has changed and that I've lost my faith. That nothing of God means anything to me anymore, that there's a feeling of emptiness. It's the strangest but the most horrible feeling. I'll be trying to talk to God and get His help and then there'll be something telling me that I'm not being genuine in my prayer or that my words to God are fake. I became caught up in so much distress, I started to feel sick. I've even felt nauseous, like I was going to pass out. I should know that these are lies, I can't give in to these thoughts. But then the overthinking and over-analyzing will take over and say, "What if that's what is happening?" "What if I've lost the battle and there's nothing I can do about it?" "What if this is true?" I don't want to believe these things. I don't want these things in my head. I've become so upset, the worst that I've been in this battle. It's just gotten to me so badly. I've continued to rebuke these thoughts, daily, every last one of them. I've been trying to learn more about the devil's tactics. I feel like one of them goes into the whole thing with confusion. I'll be rebuking the devil and the devil try to have me think that I rebuked God, horrible things like this. And so I rebuke those thoughts as well. But then something will be telling me,

"Why do you bother? That doesn't work. You don't believe in God, remember?"

I know that the devil is trying to trip me up, just as my mom said. The devil wants to undermine me and make me out to be something that I'm not. He's been telling horrible things about how I've become an unbeliever and that I'm doomed. And then I become even more upset. It's like the more I try to understand what's happening in my head, the more confused I become. And that makes everything even worse. My mind is the strangest place, because of all of this over-thinking and over-analyzing. I'll reading analyses of God's word online, and sometimes when I do become fearful that I'm reading someone's false doctrine that they're spreading. Or I become afraid that I'm misinterpreting what someone else is saying about God's word and then I become confused and upset all over again. I realize now that I should be going to God Himself about His word, not follow the explanations of others. But I believe that God is using others to spread His word and so that's why I search for some of these analyses. But I realize that I need to be careful about what I read. At times I've read some off-the-wall things about God's word.

I'm trying to come to God as I am, and be real with Him about how I'm feeling and all these things that are upsetting me, but then I become plagued with these thoughts and feelings that I've described. I'll have so much going on in my head at once that it almost feels like I don't know how to talk to God anymore.
I'm trying so hard to understand God's word, but then the overthinking causes me to misinterpret what is being said and then I stress out over that. I become fearful that I don't understand and that I fail to do as God tells me, do the works of thy father. I don't want to wallow in sin. I know that I need to solidify God's truth in my mind. I know that all of my debts, woes, and sin has been payed for by Jesus when He died on the cross. And then when I'm trying to think deeply and wholeheartedly about this, God's promise, His power and His plan for me then something will be telling me,

"Oh you know you don't believe that."

I'm suffering so badly at the hands of this. I don't want these things in my head, these horrible feelings that are plaguing me and what are causing me to feel like there's a wedge between where I am now and trying to move forward and grow through God's word. I want nothing more than to keep my eyes on God. I know it's the devil. I need help. I need help so much. I need help with everything. I know I can't deal with this alone. I've been putting this in God's hands. It's just hard.

I know there's not much time left. God is coming back soon. And this will be the moment I've looked forward to since knowing God, since I was a child. But then thoughts in my head will be saying,

"Oh you won't be meeting God. He's not coming back." I know these are lies.

I know that as the pandemic worsens they move into the stage of forcing everyone to take the chip (mark of the beast) God will get us out of here before any of those things. I don't know why but since thinking about this, I've become caught up in this distress over the idea that I'm going to miss this life. That I'm going to miss everything in it. I'll no longer have this or that. But then I remember God's word. I'm still dealing with this feeling. Because I remember that God says that we're not to love the world or what the world has done for us. I know I would never put such things above God. I do not idolize the world and the things of the world. I don't want to hold on to the material things. I've since been rebuking these thoughts of false idol worship and material things and asking God to help me let go. I enjoy everything that God has brought into the lives of my family and I. But I need to remember that I absolutely will not miss this life when I leave. Because what God has prepared for us in Heaven will be unlike anything we've ever seen, better than anything we could ever imagine. I would never choose anything else over God. That's why I'm really disturbed by these feelings, and I've been asking God for help. I need help with letting go of the things I am not to be holding onto. That includes the past, what I've done wrong in the past, and the feelings of resentment towards those who've wronged my family and I. Resentment towards the world and the ridiculousness of people in the world, such things that have brought me into a state of anger and frustration. I care way too much about what people think and what society says and that's a huge part of the problem. I've been bringing these things to God. Because I know these things are wrong to hold onto.

I apologize for my long post but I wanted to make sure that I got out everything that I wanted to mention. This is what's happening with me right now.

I'm also depressed about this pandemic. Losing the normalcy of my life has really hit me hard but I know God doesn't want me to receive such feelings. I know that God doesn't want me to be worried about anything. I know I'm not even supposed to carry these burdens because He took them for me on the Cross. I'm scared about the future of us, what the deep state intends to do with this pandemic and how much worse it could become. But I know God is in control. I have to remember that. I just ask for everyone to pray for me. I really wanted to share this with everyone and I believe that God urged me to do so.

 

[Ronit]

I will pray for you

 

[Nicole Roberson]

I will pray for you

Thank you so much. God bless.

 

[Ronit]

God Bless you too

 

[Jeshu]

I know that the devil is a liar and an accuser of the brethren and the things he's told me are just from the pits of hell. I know that God doesn't want me to give up, to ever give in. And I shall not, I refuse to give up. But it's so hard. It's so hard to deal with these things in my head. It's just gotten so bad. So, so bad. I'm in tears as I type this, because I get so emotional as it's difficult to talk about this.

Part of what makes this battle worse is my tendencies to overthink, over-worry, and over-analyze. In doing this it just badly affects how i deal with this battle and how I perceive the things in my head. I know I'm coming closer to God's word. I finally purchased my own bible. Before that I was either using my mom's or looking for specific scripture online. I want nothing more than to understand God's word, and to live by God's word, and to build my faith. I understand that without faith it's impossible to please God and i want nothing more than to please Him and do His works. I'm glad I came to understand now that this is how our faith is justified, not in my own works or own merit. And so I want to understand this and that I'm focusing on God only. I want to be at peace, knowing God's word and so I remember the truth, His plan for me. I know that despite the pandemic, this is the time for me to grow closer to God and immerse myself in His word. But as I'm striving for this, I know that satan is trying to prevent this.

Precisely. satan, that fiend, is after you because you know the truth and love Him. Parts of you are still in satan's power and you have not gone to Jesus in those parts of yourself yet. Please don't worry too much about that, but rather be prepared to have your whole heart unite in battle against the wicked outside rather than inside, for inside our hearts we are in His peace.

It is a massive battle as you can see already. The devil wants you to give in to those evil voices. Please don't fear them that is how they get there power. Each time you fear those voices they tell lies, also about The Truth of Jesus. The way you disarm them is to go to Jesus in your fearful self, how you become when you are overcome by fear, and begin a relationship with Jesus Christ confessing you are frightened and asking Him for ability to withstand fear.

Please understand that Jesus can really help us the fearful ones we can be, in the end you become fearless because Jesus shapes us Anew as we go to Him in old and liberates us from those evil voices.

Honest i do understand where you are coming from. i have battled such evil voices most of my life. The voices have only gone after i started psychotic medications. A tiny little bit, just to keep them at bay. i've tried to go without many times, do it by faith alone, those voices used to mock me, but i tried and had 100 percent faith, still do, that God could heal me if He wanted to, but the voices only got worse until i lost my mind and ended up in hospital. That happened many times in my life so i know that a little medication is wise to keep and is God's way to help me keep perspective.

i'm not saying you need to go on medicine, only a doctor can determine that and even then they are often wrong. Its best to try first and see if Jesus takes the voices away without medical intervention. Have you thought that God is with you within your inner dwelling place and that He hears those voices as well. Now God's truth, and i'm really happy you bought a bible, that is the best way to discover the evil ones hiding inside your heart because of the lies you believe about God, yourself and your neighbour.

Read the bible with your heart and see how you respond, the voices as well. And you will see that those voices have no love and that they kill love and all good things in your heart when you listen to them anbd that they even seem to turn God's word against us.

The trick is to read the bible in the Spirit of love for God, self and neighbour, only then does it speak true, when voices that hate, bring unrest and fear speak the bible it is never God's truth, always the lies of the devil about God and His Word.

So exercise faith a lot. Faith in God's love. The more faith you have in God's love because of Jesus Christ and His payment the stronger against those voices you will grow until the truth casts them all out.

i have a thread where i talk in detail what forces we find within our hearts, also on my blog i have four articles dealing with unclean spirituality in the forms we meet them down here even when we don't hear evil voices, but just human spirituality that we can get stuck with in our battle with the evil.

Evil Spirituality 1 | Christian Forums
Evil Spirituality 2 | Christian Forums
Evil Spirituality 3 | Christian Forums
Evil Spirituality 4 | Christian Forums

i also have a support thread for those who are hurting depression and other mental disorders. You are free to have a snoop around that one as well i've you like.

Biblical and other support for those Hurting badly!

Praying you overcome those wicked ones.

 

[Carl Emerson]

Jeshu takes a different tack than I do.

I have been able to achieve complete release without medication by much prayer and refusing the intrusions in Jesus name.

I learned that His authority is supreme in every domain.

My journey out of oppression took 7 years.

I have been called to minister to others from time to time and seen dramatic release.

Get as much prayer as possible. Don't hesitate to ask for prayer support (never think you are not worthy of it)

Continue to refuse the thoughts in Jesus name.

Stay in the Word. Stay in healthy fellowship.

PM me anytime if you need.

 

[Broken Fence]

Hi everyone.

I hope everyone is safe and healthy and continues to be so, especially at this time. As for me, my family and I are safe, healthy, and grateful to God for everything. I cannot thank Him enough.

In the past I've shared by testimony but I thought I'd provide an update since much more has happened. I've been a Christian my entire life. I am 20 years old, soon to transfer from community college to university for the fall. There's just a lot that I'm suffering emotionally and mentally due to this spiritual battle. The attacks first began in the summer of 2018. It just happened out of nowhere one day, since then my mind has been filled with the worst thoughts I've ever heard about God, Jesus Christ, the Holy Spirit. Unspeakable, awful thoughts. They've changed over time, like the Devil is changing around the phrases based on what upsets me the most to hear or something. But whatever the thoughts are at this time and that time, they just repeat themselves over and over again, throughout the day. Strangely they seem to get worse by the evening like at around 5pm. I don't know why. Then a wave of distress and fear comes over me. This happens at other times of the day, but I notice this particularly happening often in the evening.

Since this battle has started, I've struggled with so much. It's just so upsetting to me, I'm constantly in tears. I've made these events known to my mom, who has been going over God's word with me and helping me memorize scripture. She's explained to me so much about this battle. The devil's time is short so he's attacking Christians left and right. I know that the devil is a liar and an accuser of the brethren and the things he's told me are just from the pits of hell. I know that God doesn't want me to give up, to ever give in. And I shall not, I refuse to give up. But it's so hard. It's so hard to deal with these things in my head. It's just gotten so bad. So, so bad. I'm in tears as I type this, because I get so emotional as it's difficult to talk about this.

Part of what makes this battle worse is my tendencies to overthink, over-worry, and over-analyze. In doing this it just badly affects how i deal with this battle and how I perceive the things in my head. I know I'm coming closer to God's word. I finally purchased my own bible. Before that I was either using my mom's or looking for specific scripture online. I want nothing more than to understand God's word, and to live by God's word, and to build my faith. I understand that without faith it's impossible to please God and i want nothing more than to please Him and do His works. I'm glad I came to understand now that this is how our faith is justified, not in my own works or own merit. And so I want to understand this and that I'm focusing on God only. I want to be at peace, knowing God's word and so I remember the truth, His plan for me. I know that despite the pandemic, this is the time for me to grow closer to God and immerse myself in His word. But as I'm striving for this, I know that satan is trying to prevent this.

There's just so much craziness inside of my head. Some of the most ridiculous thoughts pop up out of nowhere. I'll be thinking about God, talking to Him and then some crazy not out of nowhere comes. It's blasphemous, sometimes with a sexual undertone and I just become so disgusted by it. Often either in the middle of or the end of a prayer than swear words will be inserted. I'll say amen and then a curse word pops up. I'm being plagued by these feelings of doubt, uncertainty and fear as I'm trying to talk with God and get His help. Now there's things in my head telling me such like,

"Don't you know that you stopped believing in God?"

"Prayer is pointless so don't bother."

"God doesn't hear you anymore, He left you."

An so on so forth. And worst of all, there have been times when I've found myself almost believe that this is coming from me and that's becoming of me. I become terrified by this. Recently several times I've woken up in the middle of the night with these thoughts and feelings and I thought I was a having a breakdown. Horrible things telling me that my heart has changed and that I've lost my faith. That nothing of God means anything to me anymore, that there's a feeling of emptiness. It's the strangest but the most horrible feeling. I'll be trying to talk to God and get His help and then there'll be something telling me that I'm not being genuine in my prayer or that my words to God are fake. I became caught up in so much distress, I started to feel sick. I've even felt nauseous, like I was going to pass out. I should know that these are lies, I can't give in to these thoughts. But then the overthinking and over-analyzing will take over and say, "What if that's what is happening?" "What if I've lost the battle and there's nothing I can do about it?" "What if this is true?" I don't want to believe these things. I don't want these things in my head. I've become so upset, the worst that I've been in this battle. It's just gotten to me so badly. I've continued to rebuke these thoughts, daily, every last one of them. I've been trying to learn more about the devil's tactics. I feel like one of them goes into the whole thing with confusion. I'll be rebuking the devil and the devil try to have me think that I rebuked God, horrible things like this. And so I rebuke those thoughts as well. But then something will be telling me,

"Why do you bother? That doesn't work. You don't believe in God, remember?"

I know that the devil is trying to trip me up, just as my mom said. The devil wants to undermine me and make me out to be something that I'm not. He's been telling horrible things about how I've become an unbeliever and that I'm doomed. And then I become even more upset. It's like the more I try to understand what's happening in my head, the more confused I become. And that makes everything even worse. My mind is the strangest place, because of all of this over-thinking and over-analyzing. I'll reading analyses of God's word online, and sometimes when I do become fearful that I'm reading someone's false doctrine that they're spreading. Or I become afraid that I'm misinterpreting what someone else is saying about God's word and then I become confused and upset all over again. I realize now that I should be going to God Himself about His word, not follow the explanations of others. But I believe that God is using others to spread His word and so that's why I search for some of these analyses. But I realize that I need to be careful about what I read. At times I've read some off-the-wall things about God's word.

I'm trying to come to God as I am, and be real with Him about how I'm feeling and all these things that are upsetting me, but then I become plagued with these thoughts and feelings that I've described. I'll have so much going on in my head at once that it almost feels like I don't know how to talk to God anymore.
I'm trying so hard to understand God's word, but then the overthinking causes me to misinterpret what is being said and then I stress out over that. I become fearful that I don't understand and that I fail to do as God tells me, do the works of thy father. I don't want to wallow in sin. I know that I need to solidify God's truth in my mind. I know that all of my debts, woes, and sin has been payed for by Jesus when He died on the cross. And then when I'm trying to think deeply and wholeheartedly about this, God's promise, His power and His plan for me then something will be telling me,

"Oh you know you don't believe that."

I'm suffering so badly at the hands of this. I don't want these things in my head, these horrible feelings that are plaguing me and what are causing me to feel like there's a wedge between where I am now and trying to move forward and grow through God's word. I want nothing more than to keep my eyes on God. I know it's the devil. I need help. I need help so much. I need help with everything. I know I can't deal with this alone. I've been putting this in God's hands. It's just hard.

I know there's not much time left. God is coming back soon. And this will be the moment I've looked forward to since knowing God, since I was a child. But then thoughts in my head will be saying,

"Oh you won't be meeting God. He's not coming back." I know these are lies.

I know that as the pandemic worsens they move into the stage of forcing everyone to take the chip (mark of the beast) God will get us out of here before any of those things. I don't know why but since thinking about this, I've become caught up in this distress over the idea that I'm going to miss this life. That I'm going to miss everything in it. I'll no longer have this or that. But then I remember God's word. I'm still dealing with this feeling. Because I remember that God says that we're not to love the world or what the world has done for us. I know I would never put such things above God. I do not idolize the world and the things of the world. I don't want to hold on to the material things. I've since been rebuking these thoughts of false idol worship and material things and asking God to help me let go. I enjoy everything that God has brought into the lives of my family and I. But I need to remember that I absolutely will not miss this life when I leave. Because what God has prepared for us in Heaven will be unlike anything we've ever seen, better than anything we could ever imagine. I would never choose anything else over God. That's why I'm really disturbed by these feelings, and I've been asking God for help. I need help with letting go of the things I am not to be holding onto. That includes the past, what I've done wrong in the past, and the feelings of resentment towards those who've wronged my family and I. Resentment towards the world and the ridiculousness of people in the world, such things that have brought me into a state of anger and frustration. I care way too much about what people think and what society says and that's a huge part of the problem. I've been bringing these things to God. Because I know these things are wrong to hold onto.

I apologize for my long post but I wanted to make sure that I got out everything that I wanted to mention. This is what's happening with me right now.

I'm also depressed about this pandemic. Losing the normalcy of my life has really hit me hard but I know God doesn't want me to receive such feelings. I know that God doesn't want me to be worried about anything. I know I'm not even supposed to carry these burdens because He took them for me on the Cross. I'm scared about the future of us, what the deep state intends to do with this pandemic and how much worse it could become. But I know God is in control. I have to remember that. I just ask for everyone to pray for me. I really wanted to share this with everyone and I believe that God urged me to do so.

I used to be a lot like this too. Tell I learned a spiritual truth. Taking your focus off you will free you. The be the blessing mentallity will help, helped me. I have such a fulfilling life now. I learned that God wants me to bless with my actions, speaking, prayers, and all that I do. If you turn every situation into a blessing, you will be like your Lord in heaven.

 

[NBB]

Why don't ask God for he to show you the source of this spiritually, there is discerment, you may get amazed and happy to find the source of this, after that you know what to do...

 

[Tolworth John]

mind has been filled with the worst thoughts I've ever heard about God, Jesus Christ, the Holy Spirit. Unspeakable, awful thoughts.

It's just so upsetting to me, I'm constantly in tears.

what makes this battle worse is my tendencies to overthink, over-worry, and over-analyze. In doing this it just badly affects how i deal with this battle and how I perceive the things in my head

soon to transfer from community college to university for the fall.

I am sorry that you are suffering so intensely.

May I suggest a couple of things.
First, if things do not improve, will you be able to cope living away from home at university?

Please talk to your doctor, intrusive thoughts are common and there are methods, techniques that can be used to deal with them, medication is not the automatic response, though to enable you to use the techniques a short time on meds might be suggested.
This is not a sign of failure.

We are entitled to use all the methods to keep us healthy, not just prayer.

Again do talk to your doctor or to a councelor at your college, what is affecting you is as much a mental illness as a spiritual attack.

 

[mnorian]

Hi everyone.

I hope everyone is safe and healthy and continues to be so, especially at this time. As for me, my family and I are safe, healthy, and grateful to God for everything. I cannot thank Him enough.

In the past I've shared by testimony but I thought I'd provide an update since much more has happened. I've been a Christian my entire life. I am 20 years old, soon to transfer from community college to university for the fall. There's just a lot that I'm suffering emotionally and mentally due to this spiritual battle. The attacks first began in the summer of 2018. It just happened out of nowhere one day, since then my mind has been filled with the worst thoughts I've ever heard about God, Jesus Christ, the Holy Spirit. Unspeakable, awful thoughts. They've changed over time, like the Devil is changing around the phrases based on what upsets me the most to hear or something. But whatever the thoughts are at this time and that time, they just repeat themselves over and over again, throughout the day. Strangely they seem to get worse by the evening like at around 5pm. I don't know why. Then a wave of distress and fear comes over me. This happens at other times of the day, but I notice this particularly happening often in the evening.

Since this battle has started, I've struggled with so much. It's just so upsetting to me, I'm constantly in tears. I've made these events known to my mom, who has been going over God's word with me and helping me memorize scripture. She's explained to me so much about this battle. The devil's time is short so he's attacking Christians left and right. I know that the devil is a liar and an accuser of the brethren and the things he's told me are just from the pits of hell. I know that God doesn't want me to give up, to ever give in. And I shall not, I refuse to give up. But it's so hard. It's so hard to deal with these things in my head. It's just gotten so bad. So, so bad. I'm in tears as I type this, because I get so emotional as it's difficult to talk about this.

Part of what makes this battle worse is my tendencies to overthink, over-worry, and over-analyze. In doing this it just badly affects how i deal with this battle and how I perceive the things in my head. I know I'm coming closer to God's word. I finally purchased my own bible. Before that I was either using my mom's or looking for specific scripture online. I want nothing more than to understand God's word, and to live by God's word, and to build my faith. I understand that without faith it's impossible to please God and i want nothing more than to please Him and do His works. I'm glad I came to understand now that this is how our faith is justified, not in my own works or own merit. And so I want to understand this and that I'm focusing on God only. I want to be at peace, knowing God's word and so I remember the truth, His plan for me. I know that despite the pandemic, this is the time for me to grow closer to God and immerse myself in His word. But as I'm striving for this, I know that satan is trying to prevent this.

There's just so much craziness inside of my head. Some of the most ridiculous thoughts pop up out of nowhere. I'll be thinking about God, talking to Him and then some crazy not out of nowhere comes. It's blasphemous, sometimes with a sexual undertone and I just become so disgusted by it. Often either in the middle of or the end of a prayer than swear words will be inserted. I'll say amen and then a curse word pops up. I'm being plagued by these feelings of doubt, uncertainty and fear as I'm trying to talk with God and get His help. Now there's things in my head telling me such like,

"Don't you know that you stopped believing in God?"

"Prayer is pointless so don't bother."

"God doesn't hear you anymore, He left you."

An so on so forth. And worst of all, there have been times when I've found myself almost believe that this is coming from me and that's becoming of me. I become terrified by this. Recently several times I've woken up in the middle of the night with these thoughts and feelings and I thought I was a having a breakdown. Horrible things telling me that my heart has changed and that I've lost my faith. That nothing of God means anything to me anymore, that there's a feeling of emptiness. It's the strangest but the most horrible feeling. I'll be trying to talk to God and get His help and then there'll be something telling me that I'm not being genuine in my prayer or that my words to God are fake. I became caught up in so much distress, I started to feel sick. I've even felt nauseous, like I was going to pass out. I should know that these are lies, I can't give in to these thoughts. But then the overthinking and over-analyzing will take over and say, "What if that's what is happening?" "What if I've lost the battle and there's nothing I can do about it?" "What if this is true?" I don't want to believe these things. I don't want these things in my head. I've become so upset, the worst that I've been in this battle. It's just gotten to me so badly. I've continued to rebuke these thoughts, daily, every last one of them. I've been trying to learn more about the devil's tactics. I feel like one of them goes into the whole thing with confusion. I'll be rebuking the devil and the devil try to have me think that I rebuked God, horrible things like this. And so I rebuke those thoughts as well. But then something will be telling me,

"Why do you bother? That doesn't work. You don't believe in God, remember?"

I know that the devil is trying to trip me up, just as my mom said. The devil wants to undermine me and make me out to be something that I'm not. He's been telling horrible things about how I've become an unbeliever and that I'm doomed. And then I become even more upset. It's like the more I try to understand what's happening in my head, the more confused I become. And that makes everything even worse. My mind is the strangest place, because of all of this over-thinking and over-analyzing. I'll reading analyses of God's word online, and sometimes when I do become fearful that I'm reading someone's false doctrine that they're spreading. Or I become afraid that I'm misinterpreting what someone else is saying about God's word and then I become confused and upset all over again. I realize now that I should be going to God Himself about His word, not follow the explanations of others. But I believe that God is using others to spread His word and so that's why I search for some of these analyses. But I realize that I need to be careful about what I read. At times I've read some off-the-wall things about God's word.

I'm trying to come to God as I am, and be real with Him about how I'm feeling and all these things that are upsetting me, but then I become plagued with these thoughts and feelings that I've described. I'll have so much going on in my head at once that it almost feels like I don't know how to talk to God anymore.
I'm trying so hard to understand God's word, but then the overthinking causes me to misinterpret what is being said and then I stress out over that. I become fearful that I don't understand and that I fail to do as God tells me, do the works of thy father. I don't want to wallow in sin. I know that I need to solidify God's truth in my mind. I know that all of my debts, woes, and sin has been payed for by Jesus when He died on the cross. And then when I'm trying to think deeply and wholeheartedly about this, God's promise, His power and His plan for me then something will be telling me,

"Oh you know you don't believe that."

I'm suffering so badly at the hands of this. I don't want these things in my head, these horrible feelings that are plaguing me and what are causing me to feel like there's a wedge between where I am now and trying to move forward and grow through God's word. I want nothing more than to keep my eyes on God. I know it's the devil. I need help. I need help so much. I need help with everything. I know I can't deal with this alone. I've been putting this in God's hands. It's just hard.

I know there's not much time left. God is coming back soon. And this will be the moment I've looked forward to since knowing God, since I was a child. But then thoughts in my head will be saying,

"Oh you won't be meeting God. He's not coming back." I know these are lies.

I know that as the pandemic worsens they move into the stage of forcing everyone to take the chip (mark of the beast) God will get us out of here before any of those things. I don't know why but since thinking about this, I've become caught up in this distress over the idea that I'm going to miss this life. That I'm going to miss everything in it. I'll no longer have this or that. But then I remember God's word. I'm still dealing with this feeling. Because I remember that God says that we're not to love the world or what the world has done for us. I know I would never put such things above God. I do not idolize the world and the things of the world. I don't want to hold on to the material things. I've since been rebuking these thoughts of false idol worship and material things and asking God to help me let go. I enjoy everything that God has brought into the lives of my family and I. But I need to remember that I absolutely will not miss this life when I leave. Because what God has prepared for us in Heaven will be unlike anything we've ever seen, better than anything we could ever imagine. I would never choose anything else over God. That's why I'm really disturbed by these feelings, and I've been asking God for help. I need help with letting go of the things I am not to be holding onto. That includes the past, what I've done wrong in the past, and the feelings of resentment towards those who've wronged my family and I. Resentment towards the world and the ridiculousness of people in the world, such things that have brought me into a state of anger and frustration. I care way too much about what people think and what society says and that's a huge part of the problem. I've been bringing these things to God. Because I know these things are wrong to hold onto.

I apologize for my long post but I wanted to make sure that I got out everything that I wanted to mention. This is what's happening with me right now.

I'm also depressed about this pandemic. Losing the normalcy of my life has really hit me hard but I know God doesn't want me to receive such feelings. I know that God doesn't want me to be worried about anything. I know I'm not even supposed to carry these burdens because He took them for me on the Cross. I'm scared about the future of us, what the deep state intends to do with this pandemic and how much worse it could become. But I know God is in control. I have to remember that. I just ask for everyone to pray for me. I really wanted to share this with everyone and I believe that God urged me to do so.

Every time you get a intrusive thought; you need to say; in your mind "I rebuke that in Jesus name!" Not once. Not twice. A thousand times; and then start over again.

At first you may need to say it out loud; there is something special you receive from hearing yourself saying the name of "Jesus".

After awhile your mind will get crystal clear and silent for a while; then the "voice" will come back and try it again. But the enemy hates the name of Jesus so much; he will stop this; and go on to other means to torment you; but watch out for them also.

I know this sounds simple; but it works; trust me; I know from personal experience.

 

[Brenda Blakely]

Wow, you are so well grounded and strong. I am so thankful you also have a great Mom and that you listen to her and allow her to be a part of your life and struggles. I am going to get very personal here. I think this whole situation is a spiritual battle but we know WHO wins. We know that what the enemy plans for destruction, God uses for the good and we are seeing such a clear picture of that in what is going on right now. The enemy closed churches, God opened up new churches in the home.

So for the personal, I understand very well the overthinking. Overthinking is something with which I also struggle. I have learned some important information about this. Overthinking is a hook that Satan can grab and he will use it. Secondly, my own mind is a dangerous place to go without the Holy Spirit so I remain aware of this.

The Lord has shown me that I must keep my/the whole armor of God (Ephesians 6:13-17) as per scriptural instruction. Secondly, I must allow my mind to be renewed and focused on God and His purpose and work. I must allow Him to discipline my mind. I must be aware when my mind wanders (Help me Father God!!!). For me when I realize this, I simply repeat the name of “Jesus” several times and began to praise and worship. When I know nothing else to do I worship. I have also found that keeping Christian music, where I hear it, helps. Keep it simple if you must.

I prayed, “Father give me continual praise and worship in my head.” He does that and I appreciate it. I find praise and worship songs replace the ringing and disturbing noise in my head.

You are a very special young lady with a great capacity for serving God. I pray that nothing will hinder you. Stay in the Word and stay in touch and nurture your relationship with God, your Father. Keep your eyes on what God is/has and not the enemy at your feet. He has no power except what you allow him. God assures us that “greater is He that is in me than he that is in the world.”

God has plans for you and He will equip and care for you. Blessings, my sister in Christ.

 

[com7fy8]

"My grace is sufficient for you, for My strength is made perfect in weakness." (in 2 Corinthians 12:9)

 

[grace4ever]

Hello Nicole Roberson,
Thank you for sharing your thoughts and concerns with us. It seems that you been through a lot lately with your mind being interfered with. Even in the darkest moments, there’s always hope. You’re not alone, many fellow Christian believers are experiencing similar attacks as you are. It’s probably because you are seeking God and wanting to follow Him. God permits such things to some of us and we wonder why would such things happen to us? There was a priest named Padre Pio in Italy who was constantly attacked by Lucifer and his demons because he was living his life as a holy priest. What’s worse is that Padre Pio would be physically attacked and even thrown out of his strengths. On the other hand, is a good thing that you identify where those thoughts come from. Those that are telling you that you are not genuine in your prayer definitely come from the adversary that wants to discourage you to pray. I’ve read that one of the most powerful weapons that the adversary uses to keep away people from God is: “discouragement”. That’s why I encourage you change the thought or as you say before in your post rebuke them saying: Spirit of discouragement I command you to leave me right now and I put you at the feet of the cross of Jesus. In Jesus Name. Amen. I encourage you to do not pay attention to much the people think or society say, because that will take out your joy and peace and you will start to feel miserable. Behind of that maybe it could be a desire in you that you want to please people. However, the only one who is worthy to please is God, and that is the One that we must care. If we are doing God’s will the rest is secondary. Love God with all your heart, soul and mind and your neighbor as yourself. It is the first and most important commandment. It is understandable the way what you feel. The quarantine happens suddenly and our freedom was cut it off. But please hang it there! Do not feel discourage. Even in the darkest moments in our lives, there’s always hope. Let me tell you my friend that you are valuable, important and a person worth of dignity. The only want who can save us of this situation is God. It is important that we ask God to grow in patience and trust in Him that He can perform a miracle. And you say well in your post that God is in control and we are calling to trust Him now more than before. I encourage you to live day by day. Please do not think of the future. Sometimes for thinking of the future we could live badly our present. I encourage you to give the better version of yourself today. Today is our treasure, and it is the time that we should care more. And you are doing well, trying to know more God through His Sacred Word and prayer. Have you ever thought of seeking spiritual help from an exorcist priest? Maybe you can look for a local catholic dioceses in your area and to see if you can get evaluation for your situation. These are persons who have to study about demonology and they are specialist to deal with situations like this. Hope this helps. Sending you hugs. I will keep you in my prayers, my friend.

 

[icxn]

...Now there's things in my head telling me such like,
"Don't you know that you stopped believing in God?"
"Prayer is pointless so don't bother."
"God doesn't hear you anymore, He left you."
"Why do you bother? That doesn't work. You don't believe in God, remember?"
"Oh you won't be meeting God. He's not coming back."

If such was the case, why are the demons borthering you? The fact that they do is because you are making progress and they hate that. If I were you, I would worry (be cautious) if they stopped bothering me.

As for the evil thoughts they throw at you, instead of trying to analyze, argue with or rebuke them, it's better to ignore them. You are not to blame for them, they are not yours. Just focus on your reading and your prayers and don't despair.

There's another meditation you can employ, though it requires great humility and a firm hope in the mercy of God. What is that? To accept the condemnation of the demons and imagine/make for yourself a little corner in hell.* God is there too, so don't panic (Psalms 139:8). Then say to yourself, now that I'm here why don't I pray. And start praying with the words and disposition of the Publican:

Lord have mercy on me the sinner.

* Strange as it may sound, the demons cannot follow you there. They are too proud to lower themselves... even in nature you can see that. Foxes cannot chase after those cute little mountain goats when the latter rush downwards:

 

[Duke of Stratford]

I'm so sorry you're going through this. I hope it helps to know that a lot of people struggle with the same things that you do--myself included. Even great theologians like Martin Luther struggled with blasphemous thought! From the looks of it, you're staying very strong despite how horrible this battle is. Praise God for that!

Based on what you describe, I'd recommend you look into seeking professional help for mental illness. Intrusive thoughts, including religious ones, are sometimes signs of treatable mental illnesses. I do NOT recommend using the internet to diagnose yourself or anything, so talk to professionals you trust. There are resources out there to help you find Christian professionals who can help you with these sorts of issues. I believe someone else on this thread said that these issues can be mental as well as spiritual. Mental health is just as important as physical health, and it can certainly impact you spiritually.

Remember--He's got you through all of this, and he is gracious to forgive. Praying for you...

 

[Malik k rice]

Hello dear sister, I sympathize a lot with your story because I’m also 20 and was experiencing the worst of thoughts for weeks with no end, that God was done with me, that I messed up to bad this time, that God wouldn’t hear my prayers anymore to just name a few, you see satan doesn’t go after dead horses or quote on quote Christians, but when someone’s heart wants to take God serious at his word and make progress in the kingdom of heaven he hates this and will do anything he can to prevent this, and God allows it so that as true disciples of Christ we can become stronger in the Lords power, this worlds atmosphere is hostile to the Christian and if God were to pull back the veil so that you can see the second heaven you’d see demons everywhere attacking people with thoughts and influencing their decisions, the Bible says this of the disobedient, you see God calls us to a higher level of Christianity than just a Sunday morning church service, he wants us to reach fullness in Christ and this comes from years of wrestling in prayer and learning the word of God and growth in the spirit, satan won’t send thoughts that are full on lies that you can say what not true, he’ll send things things that seem real but have lies mixed in, “did god really say you will surely die if you eat of the tree?” You shall not surely die, he’s a liar and 99%of truth is the biggest lies, I’m still learning how to truly grow through the thoughts, as I’m still maturing but prayer is effective, using scripture clinging to the word of God saying this truth outweighs my feelings and thoughts, and understanding how much God truly loves us he loves us all deeply, and when we come to him we have to be reprogrammed and have our minds renewed because nothing in us is capable of doing Christianity in our flesh dwells no good thing, if you notice when you weren’t fighting for a deeper walk in your faith you probably got along with the world just fine you obviously had issues as did I but my mental really came under attack when I decided I want Gods plan for my life and the devil hates this and sends his tormentors this, and when God sees your faith over a long period of struggle he’ll say now I know you really want me and he’ll put it on the wall, there’s a season for every Christians life and you’re in one it’s a blessing and you won’t feel it now but once you’re out of it you’ll look back and say wow what a blessing from God, reading them word and growing in spiritual wisdom will help you to come into battle, you see the Israelites started out in bondage and we start out in bondage we’re slaves to sin and it takes a lot of pain and suffering to be done with sin and that’s what we’re currently going through, continue with being unwilling to compromise, hate sin and turn from all known sin, and love the lord with all you heart, mind, soul and strength, take up the shield of faith to defend against the arrows of the evil ones and the principalities of this dark world so that you may stand, this life isn’t a playground it’s a spiritual war zone, but if God be for us who can be against us sister? God bless and keep you in Jesus name sister

 

[Grace H]

God will always love you no matter what. Repent of your sins and God will forgive you. I know I try to please God and I fail everyday. Sometimes I just feel really bad about it, but I pray about my feelings. I ask for God's forgiveness and I know I receive it. We are not perfect but Jesus was and he died to free us from our sins. Ask God for his help for you to overcome what makes you feel so upset. God has you in his hands and he is looking out for you.