The Right Mate

[Ann Doupont]

I am wondering how we are to know who it is who is God's selection for us. I've been praying for the right man to enter my life for over 20 years. I would meet a man, feel very attracted to him, and he would seem to be attracted to me, but then it wouldn't work out.

Thoughts on this, anyone?

Thanks.

Ann

 

[auerpower]

I guess if any of us knew the answer to that question, then we wouldnt be in the singles forum...lol. I have no answers to this, but if you ever figure it out then let me know. I am still waiting as well. Good luck to you.

 

[Ann Doupont]

Hey brother. You're a guy. Why are you waiting? It's up to the man to find the woman, isn't it? Or, are you saying that you haven't found her? Have you made a list of what your expectations are? I actually did this recently. I tried, in my own strength before, making a list. Recently, I made a list of expectations. It was an entirely different type of list. They were things that have to do with being equally yoked.

So, brother. What would you think -- if you met someone you were attracted to, and the attraction seemed to be mutual, yet she never told you. Would you do anything about it? I'd like to get a man's point of view on this.

Thanks.
Ann

 

[auerpower]

Hey...well no I havent found my best friend yet. Still searching. I thought a few times that I had found her, but I was sadly mistaken. Now that I am a Christian, I have a whole new outlook on this subject. Before, I used to get uptight and panicky thinking that I was already supposed to be married, but now I am waiting on God to send her to me. She has to be a Christian...NUMBER ONE RULE!!! I am completely comfortable being single now. Not really in a hurry at all. That was not the case before I found God. If I found someone that I was attracted to, and thought she was attracted to me also...then I would pray about it, and if I still felt that way, then I would ask her out. One step at a time. God's time. NOT my time. Easier said than done though, I know. Sometimes I still get anxious, but I have to keep reminding myself that I would rather wait for the right one than to find the wrong one, get married and then realize that she is the wrong one. Good luck to you and everyone in their search. It will happen, just wait on GOD.

 

[GreatistheLord]

Hey, if I met someone that I was attracted to, and they were attracted to me then I would not have trouble doing something. I would then kind of think if we were compatible and whether it would work, but if I was really attracted, I would give myself excuses about all the superficial stuff and ignore it.
However, the problem is when God is telling you no and, you still want to go ahead. This is where I usually have to say no and walk away reluctantly. It's hard if you've been waiting years and this happens, but only God really knows......

 

[Stanfi]

I have no idea if I am right or not, but I figured that I would be drawn to that person. Have you ever been that way with anyone, I have? With the last girl, I had, that is how it was with her. I was just drawn to her, even before I met her. Weird, yes. However, I have always thought it we trusted the Holy Spirit, he would draw us to people we should be with, and tell us to stay away from others. I have had that also. I met a woman, I thought she was ok, but something just kept telling me to stay away.

Oh yeah, the ex? The one I was drawn to? Well, she treated me like I was dispobable, and chopped my heart up with a meat clever, so may be I'm not right.

 

[OhhJim]

I quit thinking that God had a certain someone for me about 10 years ago. I find no evidence for it in scripture, and certainly none in real life. The best argument I can find against it is: If God can cause someone to love ME, why can't He cause someone to love HIM? And if so, why doesn't He cause them ALL to love Him? I believe God usually stays out of affairs of the heart. He's given us a free will, after all.

When I look at the reasons to get married throughout the years, it seems that only recently have we become obsessed with physical attraction. In the past, people would put more consideration into other qualities their mate would have, like honesty, reliability, etc. Since one could barely survive without a mate, these things were important. Now we worry more about whether or not he makes our heart race.

 

[Pinkwaterlily]

I don't have the answer. My late husband passed away a little over three years ago. I've had a hard time with everything, now it's getting alot easier. I haven't started dating yet. I guess maybe whenever God's ready for me to find someone, he'll point them in my direction. I get lonely now, but I have my 13 years old son to raise. I do know that I want to live life to the fullest, and have someone in my life whether friendship, marriage, and I would love to be married again at some point. I would hate to miss out on the closeness, the love, that marriage gives. I just want to make sure my hearts ready for it, that's one reason I started the journal, to help get the old feelings out. I don't know how we're to know who God wants us to be with, I just don't know. I'm not even sure if I'm allowed to post in here since I'm a widow.

 

[Stanfi]

I quit thinking that God had a certain someone for me about 10 years ago. I find no evidence for it in scripture, and certainly none in real life. The best argument I can find against it is: If God can cause someone to love ME, why can't He cause someone to love HIM? And if so, why doesn't He cause them ALL to love Him? I believe God usually stays out of affairs of the heart. He's given us a free will, after all.

.

I like this statement. It just makes sense to me in my life right now. As I pointed above, my theory just doesn't hold water.