The responsibilities of being godparent

[joshschmj]

Hi, I am facing a big dilemma. I've been chosen to be a godfather to the child of a close family member. From the perspective of our relationship, I would love to maintain a good contact with both the young man and his parents, help in taking care of him, convey love, be a support, be a friend.

On the other hand, the role of the "godfather" itself is closely related to religion and the Church. And, unfortunately, this is where the problem arises. It seems to me that at the moment I am not a good person for being a religious support and Christian guide for the child. I myself am at the stage where the term "looking for answers" probably fits the most. I don't feel my faith to be robust.
For many years I was quite close to the Church. Over the years it began to fade away (not faith itself, but more the urge to practice the Catholic practices[as was a Catholic at that time]).
Unfortunately, I've had (and still have) problems beyond my control (OCD disorders), which quite strongly shifted and changed my perspective of prayer, faith (practicing), religion and God. A lot of the doctrines and practices of the Catholic Church began to seem questionable to me. At some point, I was just more Christian than Catholic.
But for some time I've been on the verge of faith and lack of it. I stopped perceiving many things in a spiritual way, but more biological, natural and scientific. At the moment, I don't know where I am. I don't know what it will look like in, let's say, 10 years. With my current approach: if he would like to go to church, I will take him there. If he needed something to be explained to him related to religion - I would try to explain if I could.
However, I would not like to force him to do anything against his will. It would also be hard for me to support something that just doesn't seem appropriate to me, that I don't believe in or disagree with.
For this moment I don't feel like I would be able to be a Christian guide for him. Most of those things that are usually practiced by the Catholic culture, and which such a young person is supposed to be guided through, do seem to be questionable to me (or even I just lost the faith in those).

I'm a bit sorry that I take it so seriously - maybe too seriously. A lot of people do not care too much and simply treat the role of godparents as strengthening the human relationship with the child, rather than any leading through religion. Maybe someone has some experience with this topic and can share it? Thank you.

 

[Maria Billingsley]

Hi, I am facing a big dilemma. I've been chosen to be a godfather to the child of a close family member. From the perspective of our relationship, I would love to maintain a good contact with both the young man and his parents, help in taking care of him, convey love, be a support, be a friend.

On the other hand, the role of the "godfather" itself is closely related to religion and the Church. And, unfortunately, this is where the problem arises. It seems to me that at the moment I am not a good person for being a religious support and Christian guide for the child. I myself am at the stage where the term "looking for answers" probably fits the most. I don't feel my faith to be robust.
For many years I was quite close to the Church. Over the years it began to fade away (not faith itself, but more the urge to practice the Catholic practices[as was a Catholic at that time]).
Unfortunately, I've had (and still have) problems beyond my control (OCD disorders), which quite strongly shifted and changed my perspective of prayer, faith (practicing), religion and God. A lot of the doctrines and practices of the Catholic Church began to seem questionable to me. At some point, I was just more Christian than Catholic.
But for some time I've been on the verge of faith and lack of it. I stopped perceiving many things in a spiritual way, but more biological, natural and scientific. At the moment, I don't know where I am. I don't know what it will look like in, let's say, 10 years. With my current approach: if he would like to go to church, I will take him there. If he needed something to be explained to him related to religion - I would try to explain if I could.
However, I would not like to force him to do anything against his will. It would also be hard for me to support something that just doesn't seem appropriate to me, that I don't believe in or disagree with.
For this moment I don't feel like I would be able to be a Christian guide for him. Most of those things that are usually practiced by the Catholic culture, and which such a young person is supposed to be guided through, do seem to be questionable to me (or even I just lost the faith in those).

I'm a bit sorry that I take it so seriously - maybe too seriously. A lot of people do not care too much and simply treat the role of godparents as strengthening the human relationship with the child, rather than any leading through religion. Maybe someone has some experience with this topic and can share it? Thank you.

I am certain it is just a tradition in the Catholic Church. Much like a witness. Certainly if both parents died, the family would gain custody. Feel honored they see you as an important part of their lives.
Blessings.

 

[HTacianas]

Hi, I am facing a big dilemma. I've been chosen to be a godfather to the child of a close family member. From the perspective of our relationship, I would love to maintain a good contact with both the young man and his parents, help in taking care of him, convey love, be a support, be a friend.

On the other hand, the role of the "godfather" itself is closely related to religion and the Church. And, unfortunately, this is where the problem arises. It seems to me that at the moment I am not a good person for being a religious support and Christian guide for the child. I myself am at the stage where the term "looking for answers" probably fits the most. I don't feel my faith to be robust.
For many years I was quite close to the Church. Over the years it began to fade away (not faith itself, but more the urge to practice the Catholic practices[as was a Catholic at that time]).
Unfortunately, I've had (and still have) problems beyond my control (OCD disorders), which quite strongly shifted and changed my perspective of prayer, faith (practicing), religion and God. A lot of the doctrines and practices of the Catholic Church began to seem questionable to me. At some point, I was just more Christian than Catholic.
But for some time I've been on the verge of faith and lack of it. I stopped perceiving many things in a spiritual way, but more biological, natural and scientific. At the moment, I don't know where I am. I don't know what it will look like in, let's say, 10 years. With my current approach: if he would like to go to church, I will take him there. If he needed something to be explained to him related to religion - I would try to explain if I could.
However, I would not like to force him to do anything against his will. It would also be hard for me to support something that just doesn't seem appropriate to me, that I don't believe in or disagree with.
For this moment I don't feel like I would be able to be a Christian guide for him. Most of those things that are usually practiced by the Catholic culture, and which such a young person is supposed to be guided through, do seem to be questionable to me (or even I just lost the faith in those).

I'm a bit sorry that I take it so seriously - maybe too seriously. A lot of people do not care too much and simply treat the role of godparents as strengthening the human relationship with the child, rather than any leading through religion. Maybe someone has some experience with this topic and can share it? Thank you.

Honestly, based on everything you've had to say, you shouldn't be a godparent. The responsibility of a godparent is to see that the child is raised in the faith. Ultimately, if the natural parents die, it is the responsibility of the godparent to see that the child continues in the faith. You seem to have some difficulties with your faith itself. That doesn't make you a bad person, but it might make you a bad godparent. Maybe if you explained some of the difficulties you are having with your faith we can discuss them. That's something you should actually discuss with your priest, but working through it here might give you a starting point to begin your discussions with him.

 

[joshschmj]

Honestly, based on everything you've had to say, you shouldn't be a godparent. The responsibility of a godparent is to see that the child is raised in the faith. Ultimately, if the natural parents die, it is the responsibility of the godparent to see that the child continues in the faith. You seem to have some difficulties with your faith itself. That doesn't make you a bad person, but it might make you a bad godparent. Maybe if you explained some of the difficulties you are having with your faith we can discuss them. That's something you should actually discuss with your priest, but working through it here might give you a starting point to begin your discussions with him.

Well, it's going to be hard to explain it properly, but - well, I believe that there may be a God. Though, the level of my faith in some of the practices that believers do (mostly Catholic practices) have decreased and it's not that convincing to me anymore. Sort of - like I lost "faith in faith".
I stopped perceiving some things and events from the religious side, seeing it mostly from the science/biological side instead (like: something that few years ago I would call is a help from God, or a special sign, or a high level plan, now is seen by me more like subconsciousness and its work, a fortuity [if that's the correct word]). It has shifted a lot due to my OCD disorder and what I was experiencing with that. I don't see the system of "punishment for sins", fear, rites and practices in the same way I used to do. It's hard to explain - but, like, they're not... coherent(?) rational(?) reasonable(?) to me anymore - becaming to be seen more like a... subconscious reaction, or something that is too soft to be called a disorder, and too impulsive and singificant to call it a pure free will. I really admire people who can and do believe, practice and grow their faith and religion in that way. Not so easy to imagine it though, but I accept it probably does exist. Hard to see a difference between something that is caused by a disorder/fear, and what is reasonable and synchronized with a free will.
I'm not persuaded by some of the practices anymore.
Until the most recent visit in the church, I wasn't that sure about the sacraments and the practices mentioned above. After that visit it changed a bit, I sort of felt this feeling that it may make sense. But it was, hmm, "fighting" quite hard with my beliefs and the perspective mentioned above, it was pretty inconsistent with how I was seeing the world based on my experiences and the disorder.
I do accept that it may change though - that this challange will make me understand something that I don't see now and will change the things. I've been seeing this as a chance of seeing this other perspective, having a reason to try to come back and give it a try once again experiencing something new. Maybe, maybe not. Only time would tell