The proper focus of relationships

[standard]

This has been said so brilliantly in a recent thread (rising sun), I decided to quote it here.


Christian gatherings are not about finding that special someone to settle down with. It's about coming together to worship God. Don't let your focus fade from Him. You should not be seeking out a mate. If you do then you are desparate and you will only find another person who is desparate just like you. And of course, all desparate couples are dissapointed in the end because they're focus is not on what it should be.

 

[Mark W]

God told Adam to find a mate. He even brought the animals before him in order for Adam to see they were not what he needed.

When it was time for Isaac to marry, his Father searched out a mate for him. When it was time for Jacob to marry, his parents sent him to find a mate among their native lands.

The post sounds good, but it is not scriptural. Men, when they are made aware, by God, that they should marry, should seek out a mate. In the OT many went to wells to find find a wife because that is where the women were at. The modern day wells are the church.

Having said that, we do not need to lose focus on Christ in all this. Instead, let us keep in mind that like Adam, Isaac, and Jacob, he is blessing our search and in charge of it.


Better to understand that he is working with us to find a mate, even in a singles group, than to pretend that God doesn't use christian gatherings as a means to bringing his children together for marriage.

Now having said all that, the ladies main purpose in going to the well was to get water. But she was well aware of the opportunities that might afford. As for the man, well, sometimes he went to the well just to find a woman. Desperate? That is a judgement of the heart that only God knows.


Blessings,

Mark

 

[Hewitt]

You can't say there is one "right" way to find a mate. Just because something worked for Isaac, does not mean it will work for us. God is a very powerful God which does not limit him to one simple and redundant method of bringing two people together. God is creative, and he's going to design things for us to enjoy them. When it comes to finding our mate, he's going to help you. That doesn't mean he will squeeze you into a mold, instead, by drawing closer to him he'll open your eyes. My thoughts.

 

[Mark W]

I agree Hewit. I didn't mean to suggest there is one way. However, I do mean to suggest that men are to pursue and women are to be pursued.

Blessings,

Mark

 

[Onwardclimb]

God told Adam to find a mate.

Where scripture and verse.

He even brought the animals before him in order for Adam to see they were not what he needed.

Again, WHERE????

When it was time for Isaac to marry, his Father searched out a mate for him.

NO!!! His father SENT his servant out to GET NOT look/search for a mate. His servant was also led by God and Abe's servant asked for God's choice NOT his own!!!!

When it was time for Jacob to marry, his parents sent him to find a mate among their native lands.

Maybe that's true, I've forgotten this account, but I do remember that Jacob was NOT searching for a mate when he found one.

The post sounds good, but it is not scriptural.

IMHO, its VERY scriptural.

Men, when they are made aware, by God, that they should marry, should seek out a mate.

Nope. Men should seek God and follow God to the mate He has for them.

In the OT many went to wells to find find a wife because that is where the women were at. The modern day wells are the church.

...and singles bars etc... All UNECESSARY when one is following their shepherd.

Having said that, we do not need to lose focus on Christ in all this. Instead, let us keep in mind that like Adam, Isaac, and Jacob, he is blessing our search and in charge of it.

But were those guys searching for a spouse or were they following God to a spouse and/or letting God depending on God to provide their needs?

Better to understand that he is working with us to find a mate, even in a singles group, than to pretend that God doesn't use christian gatherings as a means to bringing his children together for marriage.

My God needs NO help to accomplish His will and purpose!!!!


God bless,
Onwardclimb

 

[Mark W]

18And the Lord God said, "It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a companion who will help him." 19So the Lord God formed from the soil every kind of animal and bird. He brought them to Adam to see what he would call them, and Adam chose a name for each one. 20He gave names to all the livestock, birds, and wild animals. But still there was no companion suitable for him. 21So the Lord God caused Adam to fall into a deep sleep. He took one of Adam’s ribs and closed up the place from which he had taken it. 22Then the Lord God made a woman from the rib and brought her to Adam.

In the end, God did bring Eve to Adam. But he let Adam look first by bringing to him all the animals.

Abraham sent his servant to get Isaac a wife. Agreed. Abraham sent his servant, but it was still Abraham that initiated it and the Servant did indeed search. His search ended with the first lady.

Jacob...

28 So Isaac called for Jacob, blessed him, and said, "Do not marry any of these Canaanite women. 2Instead, go at once to Paddan-aram, to the house of your grandfather Bethuel, and marry one of your uncle Laban’s daughters.

In other words, go find a wife among Laban's daughters. It was on his trip to get his wife that he found her. Gen. 29 tells the story.

There is much grace and choice when it comes to finding a mate. God will lead you to her, but it is important for us to follow God there.

Blessings!

Mark

He who finds a wife finds a good thing. And finds favor with the Lord.

 

[Onwardclimb]

18And the Lord God said, "It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a companion who will help him."

God's decision NOT man's.

19So the Lord God formed from the soil every kind of animal and bird. He brought them to Adam to see what he would call them and Adam chose a name for each one. 20He gave names to all the livestock, birds, and wild animals. But still there was no companion suitable for him. 21So the Lord God caused Adam to fall into a deep sleep. He took one of Adam’s ribs and closed up the place from which he had taken it. 22Then the Lord God made a woman from the rib and brought her to Adam.

In the end, God did bring Eve to Adam. But he let Adam look first by bringing to him all the animals.

IF that were the case then He let Adam go on a wild goose chase. God knew that Eve was NOT among the animals, and I DON'T think that that scripture means that Adam was trying out the animals for spouses. I think it merely means that God gave Adam work to do (naming the animals) and in the process God saw Adam's need for a spouse and made him one and brought her to him. I think its important to note that God caused Adam to sleep (rest) while He was preparing his bride.

Abraham sent his servant to get Isaac a wife. Agreed. Abraham sent his servant, but it was still Abraham that initiated it

I tend to believe that it was God who initiated it. How else would Abe know that the Lord would send an angel before--note the word before the servant in order that the servant would be successful.

and the Servant did indeed search.

NO he followed God's lead. He didn't have to search, He obeyed God's leading prayed for God's choice and God provided.

His search ended with the first lady.

He wasn't sent on a search, he was sent to get.

Jacob...

28 So Isaac called for Jacob, blessed him, and said, "Do not marry any of these Canaanite women. 2Instead, go at once to Paddan-aram, to the house of your grandfather Bethuel, and marry one of your uncle Laban’s daughters.

In other words, go find a wife among Laban's daughters. It was on his trip to get his wife that he found her.

EXACTLY. God brought her to him at a time he wasn't even looking, when he hadn't even reached the destination where he was to begin looking.

Gen. 29 tells the story.

There is much grace and choice when it comes to finding a mate. God will lead you to her, but it is important for us to follow God there.

Aside from the choice thing,I agree with what your saying.

He who finds a wife finds a good thing. And finds favor with the Lord.

My Bible reads, "He who findeth a wife findeth a good thing FROM the Lord."

Just as one can "find" a penny on the side of the road etc... WITHOUT looking, one does NOT have to search out a mate. If a guy is following the leading of his shepherd, seeking first after Him then I do believe that God will indeed cause them to "find a good thing from the Lord" and I do believe that God will bring them together and "...what GOD HATH JOINED TOGETHER *NOTE: GOD NOT MAN* let NO MAN put assunder."

God bless,
Onwardclimb

 

[YouthPastor]

He who finds a wife finds a good thing. And finds favor with the Lord.

In the hebrew the word "find" carries the meaning that you are not searching - a better translations would be stumble.

He who stumbles upon a wife....

It is like you are walking along and your foot hits something - you stop and look done - it is a $5 bill.
You were not looking for it - you were just walking along and you stumbled on it.

That is what "find" means

You are going along in your walk with God - not loking for a spouse - you are focusing on God and your relationship with him - then - at some point - you stumble upon your wife

 

[YouthPastor]

I should say you stumble on a friend first - and then she becomes your wife

 

[joyinchrist]

I agree Hewit. I didn't mean to suggest there is one way. However, I do mean to suggest that men are to pursue and women are to be pursued.

Blessings,

Mark

ah yuck!