The pressure

[Macchiato]

I feel I'm at the end of my rope. I love my kids but I wish I could've seen this situation in a crystal ball so that I could save myself. I would've chosen me but because of my faith I chose them.

I'm really depressed like danger zone sui** depressed. I'm stuck. I lost my job, my car broke down. I've been unemployed for months. Had to pull one child out of daycare bc the workers were negligent, I get disrespected by my family daily. The toll of kids is enough but add on toxic family ...

And the fact I'm stuck. I tried every avenue. I tried working but I don't have a support system. When my kids would get sick I would have to leave my job to get them and that would cost me. I tried work from home jobs it didn't pan out bc my daughter is home and no one would watch her for me.

I tried going to school but no one would help me by simply watching my kids so I could study so I ended up failing. Again I know no one has to do anything for me. It's just everyone needs a little help to get somewhere.

Everyday I wake up in a dark house with screaming kids and I just wish I hadn't woken up. I'm alone in the sense I have no help.

The worst part of all of this is that I'm trying so hard to change my situation and NOTHING is budging.

I just feel like a complete failure as a mother if I can't turn this around. I see no point in living if this doesn't change.

 

[DragonFox91]

Are there any friends who could assist w/ babysitting?

 

[Lost4words]

You are doing an amazing job as a mum. Truly you are!

You are putting your children first. However hard that is, you are a great, caring mum.

I cant give practical advice except to say, keep focusing on God. Offer up your daily sufferings to Him. However hard it gets.

Your children wont be little all the time. They will be soon growing up and more independent. Stay strong. Concentrate on God, you and your children.

Ignore those that disrupt your life. Try as best as you can to change any negative into a positive, with God in your mind.

Life can be so so hard, i know! It can be like swimming through mud!!

Have faith my friend.

God bless and protect you and your children.

They have an awesome mum!

 

[Macchiato]

Are there any friends who could assist w/ babysitting?

No. I don't have any friends near me.

 

[2PhiloVoid]

I feel I'm at the end of my rope. I love my kids but I wish I could've seen this situation in a crystal ball so that I could save myself. I would've chosen me but because of my faith I chose them.

I'm really depressed like danger zone sui** depressed. I'm stuck. I lost my job, my car broke down. I've been unemployed for months. Had to pull one child out of daycare bc the workers were negligent, I get disrespected by my family daily. The toll of kids is enough but add on toxic family ...

And the fact I'm stuck. I tried every avenue. I tried working but I don't have a support system. When my kids would get sick I would have to leave my job to get them and that would cost me. I tried work from home jobs it didn't pan out bc my daughter is home and no one would watch her for me.

I tried going to school but no one would help me by simply watching my kids so I could study so I ended up failing. Again I know no one has to do anything for me. It's just everyone needs a little help to get somewhere.

Everyday I wake up in a dark house with screaming kids and I just wish I hadn't woken up. I'm alone in the sense I have no help.

The worst part of all of this is that I'm trying so hard to change my situation and NOTHING is budging.

I just feel like a complete failure as a mother if I can't turn this around. I see no point in living if this doesn't change.

... Sister Macchiato, your kids need you. They need YOU today, and they will need you -- not someone else -- tomorrow and in the future. You're not a failure. You're facing real trials, real hurdles and you need some help that isn't there at the moment. Don't give up.

 

[Handmaid for Jesus]

I have prayed that our Father meet your every need. You have a friend in Jesus. Take all of your burdens to God in prayer. Lean on Him.

 

[Macchiato]

... Sister Macchiato, your kids need you. They need YOU today, and they will need you -- not someone else -- tomorrow and in the future. You're not a failure. You're facing real trials, real hurdles and you need some help that isn't there at the moment. Don't give up.

Idk I just feel terrible I can't get my own place for my kids and I and every car I get seems to break down.

I am trying though.

It's just not good enough.

 

[2PhiloVoid]

Idk I just feel terrible I can't get my own place for my kids and I and every car I get seems to break down.

I am trying though.

It's just not good enough.

I think you meant to say, "What I'm able to do at the moment is less effective than I'd like it be."

Your situation being what it is with your parents who don't help, friends who aren't around, no church to aid you [I'm assuming], and your children's father absent, it sounds like you're in a sort of "Job" type of situation.

I remember you mentioned a few months back that you had checked with Social Services for various forms of assistance. What all came of that, if you don't mind me asking? Anything useful?

 

[Handmaid for Jesus]

Idk I just feel terrible I can't get my own place for my kids and I and every car I get seems to break down.

I am trying though.

It's just not good enough.

I hear you sister. Sometimes it seems unbearable. I hope you are feeling better today. I found this song that helped me. Maybe it will encourage you to hold on. God loves you.

 

[Macchiato]

I think you meant to say, "What I'm able to do at the moment is less effective than I'd like it be."

Your situation being what it is with your parents who don't help, friends who aren't around, no church to aid you [I'm assuming], and your children's father absent, it sounds like you're in a sort of "Job" type of situation.

I remember you mentioned a few months back that you had checked with Social Services for various forms of assistance. What all came of that, if you don't mind me asking? Anything useful?

I feel when you're a single parent there are enough programs that'll equal to an additional fully functioning co-parent that makes a world of difference.

But I am using them. It's still hard as I need that extra help.

 

[2PhiloVoid]

I feel when you're a single parent there are enough programs that'll equal to an additional fully functioning co-parent that makes a world of difference.

But I am using them. It's still hard as I need that extra help.

Ok. Do what you can for your own sake and the sake of your children. I know you do. On top of that, try not to sabotage yourself by doing too much negative self talk. We all live our lives with a combination of more and less successful situations and sometimes we just do what we can do day by day to get by.

 

[NinjaPirate777]

My children's mothers watch mine part of the time and it helps a lot. Have you thought about asking the father(s) of the children to watch them sometimes?

 

[Macchiato]

My children's mothers watch mine part of the time and it helps a lot. Have you thought about asking the father(s) of the children to watch them sometimes?

Oh I have. Yesterday my daughter's father was supposed to get her and he ignored me the whole day and called me names. I've been waiting on him to help for 2 years. He's not going to do it. I blocked him finally. And my family doesn't care enough to help.

 

[mama2one]

.

 

[riesie]

I feel I'm at the end of my rope. I love my kids but I wish I could've seen this situation in a crystal ball so that I could save myself. I would've chosen me but because of my faith I chose them.

I'm really depressed like danger zone sui** depressed. I'm stuck. I lost my job, my car broke down. I've been unemployed for months. Had to pull one child out of daycare bc the workers were negligent, I get disrespected by my family daily. The toll of kids is enough but add on toxic family ...

And the fact I'm stuck. I tried every avenue. I tried working but I don't have a support system. When my kids would get sick I would have to leave my job to get them and that would cost me. I tried work from home jobs it didn't pan out bc my daughter is home and no one would watch her for me.

I tried going to school but no one would help me by simply watching my kids so I could study so I ended up failing. Again I know no one has to do anything for me. It's just everyone needs a little help to get somewhere.

Everyday I wake up in a dark house with screaming kids and I just wish I hadn't woken up. I'm alone in the sense I have no help.

The worst part of all of this is that I'm trying so hard to change my situation and NOTHING is budging.

I just feel like a complete failure as a mother if I can't turn this around. I see no point in living if this doesn't change.

I'm feeling so sorry for you. But there's one thing I want you to know. Your not a failure as a mother. As you pull your kid our of daycare because of neglect, you are alert on your children. Like an other user said, you put your kids first. Please God bless and take care of this woman in Jesus name amen!