Hello everyone,
Well, I just needed to get this off my chest. It's been on my mind for a while now and I have learned much from this and thought I'd share with you you all and see what you folks thought.
A little bit about my past: I grew up in poverty. All my life I lived with second hand goods. Used clothes, used toys, cheap food, etc The rest of my family didnt have it any better. My parents owned some of the most beat up used cars that would make the funniest noises or put out the oddest smells. I remember one of the weirdest and most embarrassing cars we owned. It was a 1984 Oldsmobile cutlass supreme. And no, it wasnt embarrassing because it was an Oldsmobile, it was embarrassing because of the noise it would make every time we parked the car and turned off the engine. The car would seriously jolt around in its parking spot and start making this chugging noise followed by a loud CLUNK CLUNK CLUNK before it would finally settle down. The whole process would last for 30 seconds. But that wasnt the end of it. To top it off there would be this rotten egg smell that would slowly build around the car afterwards and linger around for a good five minutes. Needless to say every time we parked, people noticed and glared.
I was about 10 years old when our family owned this car. It was at this stage in my life that I started to develop insecurities of being like everyone else. I started to care about being popular, about being accepted and about fitting in and portraying the image of worth that the world had established. This included having brand name clothes, a nice hair cut, and of course, having my family own expensive cars. My mom didnt have the insecurities I did. In fact I believe she had, and still has, no shame of our poverty. These are great qualities for a person to have and looking back I am so glad I have a mother who lives this way, (Thank you, God). But back then it was the worst trait my mother could have, at least I thought it was.
Imagine, if you can, having to go to a popular shopping center with your mother on a busy Saturday morning a week before the start of the new school year. Around this time everyone you know is out shopping with their parents to get new clothes and supplies for the coming year. The mall we went to was located in an affluent part of town. Many people in my neighborhood were very rich. Most of the students at my school came from these rich families and they also shopped at this mall. During that time the mall was being remodeled so the main entrance served as the only entrance. My mother being the savvy woman she is, lingered in the packed parking lot waiting for someone to leave so she could find a parking spot close to the entrance. I begged her to just park at the back of the lot because I didnt want anyone to see and HEAR our arrival but she said she didnt want to walk so far because she was already feeling tired and the weather was very hot that day. I knew she wanted to park up close to the entrance and I didnt want her to so I sat there dreading what I knew was coming. In desperation I remember telling my mother, Mom, I have to go to the bathroom really bad. Can we just park in the back? She being a caring mother gave in. I remember saying to myself, Yes! I dont have to go through the embarrassment! As soon as my mother started to make her way to the back of the lot, someone was pulling out of a parking spot just in front of the main entrance. My heart sank into my stomach since I knew my mother would park there.
As my mother was making her way to the spot I quickly scanned the area to see if anyone I knew was there. As fate would have it, all of the cool guys at my school were there in their soccer uniforms coming out of the mall with orange julius drinks in their hand. Mixed within the crowd was a girl I had a crush on at the time. To my horror they all made their way towards the parking lot to head back home. As they approached our car my mother killed the engine and got out. Sure enough the car started to chug and sputter. Everyone and I mean everyone, stopped to witness the show. As the car started to really get into its dance the kids started to laugh and point. As soon as they recognized that the thoroughly horrified kid sitting dead still in the car was me, they started to laugh even more. From that point on everyday at school I was made fun of for the car my family owned. It was a hard thing to go through and I vowed that one day I would make up for that event.
Scan forward to present time. Growing up through the years I have always wanted a sports car because I am a fan of driving and always dreamed of racing cars. Since I received my license many years ago I have driven an old beat up car with less than 98 horsepower. As you could guess this car really didnt meet up to the performance standard I craved for. Nor did it meet the social standard that I was trying to achieve. During the past years I have worked and saved up enough money to finally purchase an expensive car. At this point I evaluated where my life was and how my future looked. I decided to go ahead with the purchase because I felt that I deserved something nice for once in my life and because I believed my humble beginnings would allow me to own such a car and still be able to live the Christian life. I also took into consideration my current car. It was falling apart. The clear coat on the paint was chipping off, the muffler was damaged, and the car started to exhibit signs that it would soon start making noise like our old Oldsmobile did. There was no way I was going to go through that again!
So I went ahead and got the car. I thought that I would be able to enjoy the performance. To enjoy the raw power, the high speeds, the go kart like handling, and I would finally be able to go places in style and never have to worry about what people thought of my car and of myself ever again! Heh. So much for that.
Since Ive had the car I have learned much about life. Sure these are lessons we all have heard before but there is nothing like learning it first hand because thats when it really sinks in, (well at lest it does for me). You would be surprised how deprived some people are. I would drive down some random street observing the speed limit and people would pull up behind me and honk at me because they think I am going to slow and as they pass me they shout out, with a car like that you can drive faster, you $##@! Cops pull you over for no reason at all because they assume a young man with a car like that must have either stolen it or is doing something illegal to afford it. Friends who used to like you start to get jealous and they start to treat you differently. And friends you havent seen in ages come out of the wood work asking for a ride or to let them drive the car and as soon as they get what they want, they leave your life again.
Of course there are positive things too. Not. I thought getting compliments would make me feel better but its so lacking and hollow. Without the car I would be nothing to them. It is not me they appreciate, it is the car. They never ask about you and who you are, they ask about the car and what you do to afford it. Im sure some guys would love this. There have been a few women who lust after you because of the car. They think you are rich or hot because of the car you drive. There have been women who are married who have hit on me and girls who have boyfriends who give me their number. This car brings out the worst in people. It brings out everything I am not and it attracts people I wish to have nothing to do with. Every teen and their car wants to race you at every stop. A bunch of people look and get jealous and so you have to start worrying about them doing something to your car out of jealously. And there are other things as well. I have to park the car far away from the places I go to avoid the attention and to avoid people opening their doors carelessly and denting the car. I have to spend more money for insurance, car payments, and a bunch of gas. I have to spend a lot of time to clean the car and to perform the high level of maintenance the car requires as well as having to find the energy to deal with a bunch of people who try to use you or hate you for the car.
In the end its so true. Material things do not satisfy and the things you own end up owning you. The other day I got back into my old car to take it out for a drive. I missed that car. I missed being able to go places with out worries. Without running into people who want to use you. Without having to wonder what kind of image I am showing to the world. Without the guilt of knowing how God feels about your purchase and how it really reflects on your walk with him. I wish with all my heart I could go back and do things differently. I look back to the days where my mother drove around that beat up car and how it attracted attention to her and how she used that embarrassing car to show people its not about what you own but about who you are and about who God is in her life and how her happiness isnt tied to material things but to eternal things that have true value and are everlasting. My car will be old in a few years. Im sure it will be considered old before my payments are done. Its just total vanity and stupidity.
I guess what I want to get across to people is that material things do not give you pleasure. It will not fill the void you have. It will not make up for your insecurities. It will only leaving you feeling more empty and lacking than before. I think Solomon said it best in Ecc.5:8-20
8 If you see the poor oppressed in a district, and justice and rights denied, do not be surprised at such things; for one official is eyed by a higher one, and over them both are others higher still. 9 The increase from the land is taken by all; the king himself profits from the fields. 10 Whoever loves money never has money enough; whoever loves wealth is never satisfied with his income. This too is meaningless. 11 As goods increase, so do those who consume them. And what benefit are they to the owner except to feast his eyes on them? 12 The sleep of a laborer is sweet, whether he eats little or much, but the abundance of a rich man permits him no sleep. 13 I have seen a grievous evil under the sun: wealth hoarded to the harm of its owner, 14 or wealth lost through some misfortune, so that when he has a son there is nothing left for him. 15 Naked a man comes from his mother's womb, and as he comes, so he departs. He takes nothing from his labor that he can carry in his hand. 16 This too is a grievous evil: As a man comes, so he departs, and what does he gain, since he toils for the wind? 17 All his days he eats in darkness, with great frustration, affliction and anger. 18 Then I realized that it is good and proper for a man to eat and drink, and to find satisfaction in his toilsome labor under the sun during the few days of life God has given him-for this is his lot. 19 Moreover, when God gives any man wealth and possessions, and enables him to enjoy them, to accept his lot and be happy in his work-this is a gift of God. 20 He seldom reflects on the days of his life, because God keeps him occupied with gladness of heart.
Wealth deprives the poor when it is wasted on yourself. Material things and wealth never satisfies. It attracts the wrong attention and causes you grief. And in the end the things you own will get old and when you die, all of it will be left behind and when you get to heaven, those things will not be there.
Folks, save your money. Use is in a wiser way. Instead of using that money to buy this car, I wish I could have used it to help those who have little. To help those who are driving around old beat up cars, (like my mother used to drive), and help them fix it up or get into something better. And for those who want to improve your image though material things, you wouldnt care about what people thought about you if you would just realize how little they do think about you in the first place. In the end, I am not happy. I wish I could drive my old car again and just be free to live my life for God and focus my mind on him and his will for my life. Think twice folks. Material things only frustrate those who strive to obtain them and it deprives those who own it. True happiness only comes from trusting and obeying the Lord.
Well, I just needed to get this off my chest. It's been on my mind for a while now and I have learned much from this and thought I'd share with you you all and see what you folks thought.
A little bit about my past: I grew up in poverty. All my life I lived with second hand goods. Used clothes, used toys, cheap food, etc The rest of my family didnt have it any better. My parents owned some of the most beat up used cars that would make the funniest noises or put out the oddest smells. I remember one of the weirdest and most embarrassing cars we owned. It was a 1984 Oldsmobile cutlass supreme. And no, it wasnt embarrassing because it was an Oldsmobile, it was embarrassing because of the noise it would make every time we parked the car and turned off the engine. The car would seriously jolt around in its parking spot and start making this chugging noise followed by a loud CLUNK CLUNK CLUNK before it would finally settle down. The whole process would last for 30 seconds. But that wasnt the end of it. To top it off there would be this rotten egg smell that would slowly build around the car afterwards and linger around for a good five minutes. Needless to say every time we parked, people noticed and glared.
I was about 10 years old when our family owned this car. It was at this stage in my life that I started to develop insecurities of being like everyone else. I started to care about being popular, about being accepted and about fitting in and portraying the image of worth that the world had established. This included having brand name clothes, a nice hair cut, and of course, having my family own expensive cars. My mom didnt have the insecurities I did. In fact I believe she had, and still has, no shame of our poverty. These are great qualities for a person to have and looking back I am so glad I have a mother who lives this way, (Thank you, God). But back then it was the worst trait my mother could have, at least I thought it was.
Imagine, if you can, having to go to a popular shopping center with your mother on a busy Saturday morning a week before the start of the new school year. Around this time everyone you know is out shopping with their parents to get new clothes and supplies for the coming year. The mall we went to was located in an affluent part of town. Many people in my neighborhood were very rich. Most of the students at my school came from these rich families and they also shopped at this mall. During that time the mall was being remodeled so the main entrance served as the only entrance. My mother being the savvy woman she is, lingered in the packed parking lot waiting for someone to leave so she could find a parking spot close to the entrance. I begged her to just park at the back of the lot because I didnt want anyone to see and HEAR our arrival but she said she didnt want to walk so far because she was already feeling tired and the weather was very hot that day. I knew she wanted to park up close to the entrance and I didnt want her to so I sat there dreading what I knew was coming. In desperation I remember telling my mother, Mom, I have to go to the bathroom really bad. Can we just park in the back? She being a caring mother gave in. I remember saying to myself, Yes! I dont have to go through the embarrassment! As soon as my mother started to make her way to the back of the lot, someone was pulling out of a parking spot just in front of the main entrance. My heart sank into my stomach since I knew my mother would park there.
As my mother was making her way to the spot I quickly scanned the area to see if anyone I knew was there. As fate would have it, all of the cool guys at my school were there in their soccer uniforms coming out of the mall with orange julius drinks in their hand. Mixed within the crowd was a girl I had a crush on at the time. To my horror they all made their way towards the parking lot to head back home. As they approached our car my mother killed the engine and got out. Sure enough the car started to chug and sputter. Everyone and I mean everyone, stopped to witness the show. As the car started to really get into its dance the kids started to laugh and point. As soon as they recognized that the thoroughly horrified kid sitting dead still in the car was me, they started to laugh even more. From that point on everyday at school I was made fun of for the car my family owned. It was a hard thing to go through and I vowed that one day I would make up for that event.
Scan forward to present time. Growing up through the years I have always wanted a sports car because I am a fan of driving and always dreamed of racing cars. Since I received my license many years ago I have driven an old beat up car with less than 98 horsepower. As you could guess this car really didnt meet up to the performance standard I craved for. Nor did it meet the social standard that I was trying to achieve. During the past years I have worked and saved up enough money to finally purchase an expensive car. At this point I evaluated where my life was and how my future looked. I decided to go ahead with the purchase because I felt that I deserved something nice for once in my life and because I believed my humble beginnings would allow me to own such a car and still be able to live the Christian life. I also took into consideration my current car. It was falling apart. The clear coat on the paint was chipping off, the muffler was damaged, and the car started to exhibit signs that it would soon start making noise like our old Oldsmobile did. There was no way I was going to go through that again!
So I went ahead and got the car. I thought that I would be able to enjoy the performance. To enjoy the raw power, the high speeds, the go kart like handling, and I would finally be able to go places in style and never have to worry about what people thought of my car and of myself ever again! Heh. So much for that.
Since Ive had the car I have learned much about life. Sure these are lessons we all have heard before but there is nothing like learning it first hand because thats when it really sinks in, (well at lest it does for me). You would be surprised how deprived some people are. I would drive down some random street observing the speed limit and people would pull up behind me and honk at me because they think I am going to slow and as they pass me they shout out, with a car like that you can drive faster, you $##@! Cops pull you over for no reason at all because they assume a young man with a car like that must have either stolen it or is doing something illegal to afford it. Friends who used to like you start to get jealous and they start to treat you differently. And friends you havent seen in ages come out of the wood work asking for a ride or to let them drive the car and as soon as they get what they want, they leave your life again.
Of course there are positive things too. Not. I thought getting compliments would make me feel better but its so lacking and hollow. Without the car I would be nothing to them. It is not me they appreciate, it is the car. They never ask about you and who you are, they ask about the car and what you do to afford it. Im sure some guys would love this. There have been a few women who lust after you because of the car. They think you are rich or hot because of the car you drive. There have been women who are married who have hit on me and girls who have boyfriends who give me their number. This car brings out the worst in people. It brings out everything I am not and it attracts people I wish to have nothing to do with. Every teen and their car wants to race you at every stop. A bunch of people look and get jealous and so you have to start worrying about them doing something to your car out of jealously. And there are other things as well. I have to park the car far away from the places I go to avoid the attention and to avoid people opening their doors carelessly and denting the car. I have to spend more money for insurance, car payments, and a bunch of gas. I have to spend a lot of time to clean the car and to perform the high level of maintenance the car requires as well as having to find the energy to deal with a bunch of people who try to use you or hate you for the car.
In the end its so true. Material things do not satisfy and the things you own end up owning you. The other day I got back into my old car to take it out for a drive. I missed that car. I missed being able to go places with out worries. Without running into people who want to use you. Without having to wonder what kind of image I am showing to the world. Without the guilt of knowing how God feels about your purchase and how it really reflects on your walk with him. I wish with all my heart I could go back and do things differently. I look back to the days where my mother drove around that beat up car and how it attracted attention to her and how she used that embarrassing car to show people its not about what you own but about who you are and about who God is in her life and how her happiness isnt tied to material things but to eternal things that have true value and are everlasting. My car will be old in a few years. Im sure it will be considered old before my payments are done. Its just total vanity and stupidity.
I guess what I want to get across to people is that material things do not give you pleasure. It will not fill the void you have. It will not make up for your insecurities. It will only leaving you feeling more empty and lacking than before. I think Solomon said it best in Ecc.5:8-20
8 If you see the poor oppressed in a district, and justice and rights denied, do not be surprised at such things; for one official is eyed by a higher one, and over them both are others higher still. 9 The increase from the land is taken by all; the king himself profits from the fields. 10 Whoever loves money never has money enough; whoever loves wealth is never satisfied with his income. This too is meaningless. 11 As goods increase, so do those who consume them. And what benefit are they to the owner except to feast his eyes on them? 12 The sleep of a laborer is sweet, whether he eats little or much, but the abundance of a rich man permits him no sleep. 13 I have seen a grievous evil under the sun: wealth hoarded to the harm of its owner, 14 or wealth lost through some misfortune, so that when he has a son there is nothing left for him. 15 Naked a man comes from his mother's womb, and as he comes, so he departs. He takes nothing from his labor that he can carry in his hand. 16 This too is a grievous evil: As a man comes, so he departs, and what does he gain, since he toils for the wind? 17 All his days he eats in darkness, with great frustration, affliction and anger. 18 Then I realized that it is good and proper for a man to eat and drink, and to find satisfaction in his toilsome labor under the sun during the few days of life God has given him-for this is his lot. 19 Moreover, when God gives any man wealth and possessions, and enables him to enjoy them, to accept his lot and be happy in his work-this is a gift of God. 20 He seldom reflects on the days of his life, because God keeps him occupied with gladness of heart.
Wealth deprives the poor when it is wasted on yourself. Material things and wealth never satisfies. It attracts the wrong attention and causes you grief. And in the end the things you own will get old and when you die, all of it will be left behind and when you get to heaven, those things will not be there.
Folks, save your money. Use is in a wiser way. Instead of using that money to buy this car, I wish I could have used it to help those who have little. To help those who are driving around old beat up cars, (like my mother used to drive), and help them fix it up or get into something better. And for those who want to improve your image though material things, you wouldnt care about what people thought about you if you would just realize how little they do think about you in the first place. In the end, I am not happy. I wish I could drive my old car again and just be free to live my life for God and focus my mind on him and his will for my life. Think twice folks. Material things only frustrate those who strive to obtain them and it deprives those who own it. True happiness only comes from trusting and obeying the Lord.
