OK, here is the situation. See if anyone gets any 'revelation'. The other night when I was bottomed out, I deliberatly sinned. I knew it was wrong, I heard the Spirit tell me to stop, but I went ahead and did it anyway. I quickly repented after cause I felt bad. I 'felt' the Lord had forgiven me. Fast forward. Last night, I go to the class I am taking. One of the exercises was to ask the Lord for a picture for the other person. The lady that was praying for me got a picture of a hammer, then a judges gavel. Neither of us really knew what this meant. Then she saw the Lord with His wings around me. (THAT was comforting after the 'sin' thing). But then she said she felt that someone had a hidden agenda against me, but that it wouldn't prosper, that the Lord was taking care of it. (NO clue what ANY of this means). No weapon formed against me shall prosper was the other word. She felt that the Lord wasn't 'judging' me...but we both felt there was more to it. Ok, that was ok...any insight from any of you would be good too.
NOW, I call my old counselor to tell him a few things. He totally misinterpreted (I feel) the above. He said he felt God was done playing games with me. (I had shared before that the 'sin' thing). If I don't start using my gifts, His hammer is going to come down, and the judgement final. THEN he goes on to tell me...(in a nutshell) that because I deliberatly sinned I was like a spoiled brat..a b*stard, cause I didn't submit to His correction...among other things.
NOW, do you see why I am bottomed out again today? I am SO sick and tired of stuff. I already feel because of that sin, that i have lost my salvation, and now this is just a game. NONE of what was said was helpful. It was condemning...NOW you see why I GIVE UP! I am DONE>