the importance of Virginity?

[Larry Mondello]

He was very judgmental and said some harsh things to me, as a child, at their dinner table as well, like,
"Where's the fire?" as I was eating too fast and likely didn't have the best of table manners either.

His judgmentalism alienated him from his children, one of whom, as good in grammar as a univ. professor, never excelled in college (dropped out though she was like mensa-smart) and went for long periods (years) without seeing her parents...

You consider "Where's the fire?" harsh?

He said other things, but don't want to divulge too much for privacy reasons.
Felt intimidating to be told it was like I was "born in a barn....":o
.....Talkin' about a 10-14 y.o. boy here.....

His judgmentalism alienated him from his children, one of whom, as good in grammar as a univ. professor, never excelled in college (dropped out though she was like mensa-smart) and went for long periods (years) without seeing her parents...

Though her dad was at her wedding, it was like one of the few times she saw him.
He didn't walk her down the aisle.:o

 

[CaliforniaJosiah]

i just don't understand why people believe that Virginity is so important?
it just doesn't make sense to me.

In what situation?


For the unmarried (such as myself), I think it important. It involves respect for marriage and for each other. For married persons, I think it is not important and generally should not be the case.



.

 

[quatona]

Isn't that how it always is in communication? What a sender thinks they said and what a receiver thinks they heard? It'd be a whole lot more efficient if we could read minds, but we'll just have to keep doing it the old fashioned way.

Well, yes, verbal communication indeed is difficult and complicated. However, when you start using vocabulary like "I felt your implication was..." you can know that you have already started an attempt at mind reading.
But, fortunately, I have the opportunity to - upon your feedback - reword my statements until a sufficient understanding is reached.

 

[selfinflikted]

He said other things, but don't want to divulge too much for privacy reasons.
Felt intimidating to be told it was like I was "born in a barn....":o
.....Talkin' about a 10-14 y.o. boy here.....

Suck it up, buttercup.

 

[RoadWarrior]

Well, yes, verbal communication indeed is difficult and complicated. However, when you start using vocabulary like "I felt your implication was..." you can know that you have already started an attempt at mind reading.
But, fortunately, I have the opportunity to - upon your feedback - reword my statements until a sufficient understanding is reached.

LOL. As everyone can see, the "mind reading" actually began here:

IOW it tells us more about your expectations, values, standards, preconceptions than it tells us about the person.

Instead of asking, you are telling. Fine. You are free to think or believe what you want. Unlike Richard Dawkins advises, I will not mock nor ridicule you. I'll only agree to disagree.

 

[RoseOfJesus]

I'm a virgin (and I'm fine with that), but if you ask me, virginity is as simple as this:

One day you've not had someone in you (or been in someone), and the next day you have. How is that a big deal, or in any form a life changing experience? If I'm wrong, then good, but I just find other things in life that give me meaning than feeling good in a certain part of my body. How is that so awesome?

And I say that with no bitterness, envy or even any real desire. I love my life.

 

[quatona]

LOL. As everyone can see, the "mind reading" actually began here:

Instead of asking, you are telling. Fine.

No, sorry, that´s not an attempt at mind reading. With every value judgement you make you reveal your values, expectations, preconceptions etc. That´s just the way it is. You can´t help it, I can´t help it. Don´t shoot the messenger.

You are free to think or believe what you want.

Thank you, that´s very generous of you.

Unlike Richard Dawkins advises, I will not mock nor ridicule you.

Dawkins gave you the advice to mock and ridicule me?

I'll only agree to disagree.

Disagree on what, exactly?

 

[RoadWarrior]

No, sorry, that´s not an attempt at mind reading. With every value judgement you make you reveal your values, expectations, preconceptions etc. That´s just the way it is. You can´t help it, I can´t help it. Don´t shoot the messenger.

Thank you, that´s very generous of you.

Dawkins gave you the advice to mock and ridicule me?

Try rereading that post again. As for mind reading, we can agree to disagree.
Have a really nice day!

 

[Reminisce]

I'm a virgin (and I'm fine with that), but if you ask me, virginity is as simple as this:

One day you've not had someone in you (or been in someone), and the next day you have. How is that a big deal, or in any form a life changing experience? If I'm wrong, then good, but I just find other things in life that give me meaning than feeling good in a certain part of my body. How is that so awesome?

And I say that with no bitterness, envy or even any real desire. I love my life.

Ha!

The words of a virgin

 

[RoadWarrior]

I'm a virgin (and I'm fine with that), but if you ask me, virginity is as simple as this:

One day you've not had someone in you (or been in someone), and the next day you have. How is that a big deal, or in any form a life changing experience? If I'm wrong, then good, but I just find other things in life that give me meaning than feeling good in a certain part of my body. How is that so awesome?

And I say that with no bitterness, envy or even any real desire. I love my life.

Without knowing your age (ie, whether you are a minor or slightly older), I don't feel comfortable discussing the issue, but I do fully support your decision.

 

[quatona]

Try rereading that post again.

Thanks for your request. I tried to reread it, and - alas - I succeeded.

 

[Reminisce]

Without knowing your age (ie, whether you are a minor or slightly older), I don't feel comfortable discussing the issue, but I do fully support your decision.

Her age is next to her username

She's 24 lol

 

[RoseOfJesus]

I'm glad you find it so funny.

It's girls like you, who think it's "cool" to have sex outside of marriage who pressure other girls into making mistakes. Are you proud to be a bully? Grow a brain.

 

[Mling]

Ha!

The words of a virgin

What's so funny? Plenty of non-virgins agree with her that there's nothing life changing about going from "never had sex" to "now I have." I definitely do. Check out the thread I started, asking non-religious people about how they responded to their first time. So far, the only responses that counter what she's said have a very specific reason (ie: rape).

 

[Reminisce]

I didn't say it's life-changing, I just don't see a reason to wait for something good if you want to try it. That stance makes me not very popular here on CF.

 

[RoseOfJesus]

I didn't say it's life-changing, I just don't see a reason to wait for something good if you want to try it. That stance makes me not very popular here on CF.

Look at you back-pedaling now cause she contfronted you. Typical bully. What's your problem? You're always mean to people, you had to make fun of me in the thread I started in the women's forum, too.

I've noticed you never pick on guys though, only other girls. Too scared to pick on a guy?

 

[Larry Mondello]

I'm a virgin (and I'm fine with that), but if you ask me, virginity is as simple as this:

One day you've not had someone in you (or been in someone), and the next day you have. How is that a big deal, or in any form a life changing experience? If I'm wrong, then good, but I just find other things in life that give me meaning than feeling good in a certain part of my body. How is that so awesome?

And I say that with no bitterness, envy or even any real desire. I love my life.

It's good you're content with your single life and not eager to lose yours, as many your age are.

Technically, you're right. It is an experience.
But it's an experience many cherish, look forward to and look back on with fond memories, particularly if they lost their's with someone they loved.

Because of poor choices I made when I was in my teens, I never got to experience the newness and closeness a couple feels on their wedding night, particularly if they were virgins.

Now, it can still be special even if only one is a virgin, as often happens.
The non-virgin can experience the joy of being the other's first as they enter their life together married under the blessings of Christ.

The non-virgin, particularly if he/she was like me, who didn't have a lot of sex before marriage, could see the virgin's love and dedication to her Lord and her new husband and thus walk with Christ even deeper together.

If I could do it all over again, wouldn't have had sex my sr. yr. of HS.
Though only had it a handful of times, and wisely got out of it after a condom scare made me question whether that was something I really needed to be doing @17-18, methinks it messed me up and harmed my view of women -- and how I reacted toward them ( and being fully aware what I was capable of doing toward them ) in dating during my 20s after I became a Christian the next year in college.

One day you've not had someone in you (or been in someone), and the next day you have. How is that a big deal, or in any form a life changing experience?

Trust me, it was a big deal to her.
Aside from the discomfort for her (first times usually sting), I know it was a momentous event in her life.

Funny how I can vividly recall many things about that incident, but not how I reacted after I ended her virginity. Would like to think I cared for and reassured her.... held her close and "was there' for her, but my mind is blank on that part....
Truthfully, you NEVER forget your first experience. NEVER....

As an aside, recently sent an email to her and apologized for my behavior and not being the man I should have been toward her. Even 30+ years later, it still gives me guilt feelings for getting sexually involved with her.
Though I wasn't a Christian at the time, we both felt intense guilt about it and knew it was wrong....

Reading her facebook page, I see she's married and big into Catholicism, returning prayer to school, against abortion, etc., so figured some Christian forgiveness would be in order.
All I got for a response was
"....Please don't contact me again.....":o

I don't put virgins like you on a pedestal, but truly, I respect and admire you for your stance. And wish I was one in my 20s and could have tasted the experience of the wedding night...

 

[Reminisce]

I wasn't trying to bully anybody, why don't you just chill

 

[Chajara]

I didn't say it's life-changing, I just don't see a reason to wait for something good if you want to try it. That stance makes me not very popular here on CF.

I actually agree with you on not waiting if you want to do something (provided you're making an informed decision and you've actually thought about it, rather than jumping into it.)

Having said that, not everyone has a huge desire for sex, and that's fine. Some people are flat-out asexual and have zero desire. Losing your virginity isn't going to change that, and no one should be pressured or made to feel like less of a person because they lack the sex drive that most people have.

Just as I believe you should be able to choose freely to engage in sex, you should also be able to choose not to engage in it, period, for any reason. No one should be judging anyone for either decision.

I'm not trying to call you out, by the way. Just springboarding off your comment to mention it.

 

[Reminisce]

Yes but I'm not judging!

Everyone thinks I'm picking on her, I'm not

I'm sorry ok?