The "I can't tell a joke to save my life" thread.

[keith99]

OTOH, it has been said that to call Hell from anywhere in the world, country-to-country long distance rates apply, except in Haiti, where it's only ten cents because it's a local call. I think since I first read that joke, lots more places now get those local rates...

Those who made the long walk back from Chosin Reservoir disagree.

 

[Roseonathorn]

I think they should not have air conditioners in churches. We could need a temperature reminder to turn away from our sins in time.

 

[JackRT]

I once met a preacher from Arizona. He was extremely concerned about his congregation. As he put it "It is so hot there in the summer that hell doesn't scare them and so beautiful in the winter that heaven holds no allure."

 

[Roseonathorn]

I did read someones facebookprofile today. It said.
- You say, You're cooler than me. That means, I'm hotter than You.

 

[IMNW]

An American man and a Soviet man are arguing over who has more freedom.

The American says, "I can walk up to The White House and yell 'Reagan is a disgrace', and nobody can do anything about it."

The Soviet man says, "I can do the same thing! I can walk up to the Kremlin and yell "Reagan is a disgrace', and nobody can do anything about it."

 

[Moral Orel]

I got a really funny joke about pizza!

Never mind... it's really cheesy.

 

[keith99]

An American man and a Soviet man are arguing over who has more freedom.

The American says, "I can walk up to The White House and yell 'Reagan is a disgrace', and nobody can do anything about it."

The Soviet man says, "I can do the same thing! I can walk up to the Kremlin and yell "Reagan is a disgrace', and nobody can do anything about it."

The American should have argued about who had more shirts!

Old Joke:

Party Officer: Comrade if you had a plane would you give it to the party?
Citizen: Yes Comrade
Party Officer: Comrade if you had a boat would you give it to the party?
Citizen: Yes Comrade
Party Officer: Comrade if you had a shirt would you give it to the party?
Citizen: No Comrade
Party Officer: Why not? You would give a plane, you would give a boat, why not a shirt?
Citizen: Because I have a shirt.

 

[Roseonathorn]

I don't know if it is too serious for being a joke or not but I have sincerely wondered why the unfaithful husband usually blames His faithful wife for the fact that He Himself is unfaithful. Where did it go wrong there, if He wanted an unfaithful wife then why on earth did He marry a faithful one?

 

[Lazarus Short]

The past, the present and the future walk into a bar...

Was it tense?

Is it tense?

or

Will it be tense?