The Gift of Singleness

[PrincessFromOz]

I'm reading the book "The Single Issue" by Al Hsu at the moment. So far it seems that Hsu rejects the idea that having the gift of singleness will cause you to be completely happy and satisfied as a single, not struggling with temptation or desire to have children.

So, what does it mean to have the gift of singleness? What did the apostle Paul mean when he wrote about this in 1 Corinthians 7:7?

To be honest, I always thought that since I have a desire to be married that it meant I don't have the gift of singleness and that God would eventually grant that desire. The thought that I may not ever get married is a bit too hard for me to deal with right now.

Anyway what do you guys think??

 

[Evie1980]

Read many books on it and though they have been helpful the truth is I am still totally confused. I don't think that I have the gift of singleness as such but I am able to do all that God has set in front of me and thats all I need to do at the moment. Gods will. It will change, like all things and I know that one day I will be married. So no, singleness is not my long term commitment.

 

[DestinyRain]

I don't really know for sure if I have the gift or not. There are times I am so sure that I do, then doubt and fear creep in and leave me confused.

 

[silentpoet]

The only way it is a gift is if you think the devil gives gifts. This is not the gift of a kind and loving God. It is the very fires of hell poured out on my heart.

 

[Luther073082]

While not as dramatic as silentpoet, I would say that if God is giving me the gift of singleness (for the rest of my life) then its absolutly the worst gift I've ever received.

But there is this one adorable girl that I'm hoping God is giving me as a gift as opposed to the gift of singleness.

 

[deliciousBass]

I know for a fact I don't have this gift. I don't mind being single for another five years or so but not having companionship into my mid 30s or 40s would make me a very sad panda.

 

[kingoffools13]

The only way it is a gift is if you think the devil gives gifts. This is not the gift of a kind and loving God. It is the very fires of hell poured out on my heart.

How droll, sounds as if you don't understand the question.

K
O
f

 

[Fremdin]

I have the gift, but I wish I had the reciept I'd like to exchange it for something else

 

[Supplanter]

By gift of singleness, do we mean the gift of celibacy? Regardless, I don't have either one. If I remain single the rest of my life then I will file that under "bad things that happen to good people because we live in a fallen world" file. However, I believe the gift of celibacy is a legitimate gift that few people have, and from the people I've met who have that gift, they don't really have a deep sexual desire or worry too much about not having companionship. They truly find their companionship in Christ, which is something we should all strive for, but it is just different for them.

I've heard people say that you should look at your singleness as a gift. Honestly, I've never bought into that. Maybe I am missing out on something because I can't grab hold of that ideal. I see that there are some advantages to being single at times, but the only one I hear people really emphasize is that you can work for God without hindrance. However, my response is that if I have a husband fully committed to God and working toward the same goals as me then how is that a hindrance? If anything, it would be a comfort and a help because two are better than one.

I try to understand that this is a season of my life and I have grown stronger through it and learned to rely on God to fulfill my needs, but unless he stops the aching and the longing in my heart for companionship and intimacy from a man on this earth, then I am going to just keep believing that He does have someone out there for me. The thought that I would never have that desire fulfilled is too much to bear, so I just take it one day at a time and continue to hope.

 

[silentpoet]

How droll, sounds as if you don't understand the question.

K
O
f

I understand the question and gave an honest answer.

 

[kingoffools13]

I said you didn't understand it because it seemed/still seems you don't understand the subject matter of the question.

The gift of singleness as the OP phrases it, is not the idea of the state of being single is a gift from God. Rather it is the idea that God has gifted some with the tolerance and aptitude to live a single life, in lieu of a married one.

According to your post, one would guess He has not "gifted" you so, as the mere idea of being single seems to be torturous to you. An almost more appropriate way to say it is that He simply didn't design you in this fashion, because it is by design that you now desire a relationship, and if He had wished it so, by design, you would see the fuller more rewarding potential of the single life.

K
O
f

 

[GQ Chris]

I know for a fact I don't have this gift. I don't mind being single for another five years or so but not having companionship into my mid 30s or 40s would make me a very sad panda.

but why man... lol, you don't have to worry about some biological clock..

 

[deliciousBass]

but why man... lol, you don't have to worry about some biological clock..

Because it sucks to do things alone? I mean friends can't replace the love and companionship of a woman. When I was married and when things were going good, they were great. I miss that.

I don't even know why I'm explaining this lol. Isn't this kinda self-explanatory? Especially considering we're in a Single Christians forum and many of us want to have a special somebody and maybe start a family? And lets not forget the sex part lol.

And the thing is that I'm not saying that finding somebody would fulfill me. Because I'm pretty happy right now as it is. I'm just saying that it could be much better and that I'm not one who is "meant" to be alone.

 

[GQ Chris]

Because it sucks to do things alone? I mean friends can't replace the love and companionship of a woman. When I was married and when things were going good, they were great. I miss that.

I don't even know why I'm explaining this lol. Isn't this kinda self-explanatory? Especially considering we're in a Single Christians forum and many of us want to have a special somebody and maybe start a family? And lets not forget the sex part lol.

And the thing is that I'm not saying that finding somebody would fulfill me. Because I'm pretty happy right now as it is. I'm just saying that it could be much better and that I'm not one who is "meant" to be alone.

yeah but you said you'd be a sad Panda about it, lol. Of course things could be better, but once the Novelty wears off, it's just like anything else, just check out the Married forums, lol. It is just a different set of problems, instead of Single problems they will be Marriage problems.

 

[Luther073082]

but why man... lol, you don't have to worry about some biological clock..

Well you do somewhat.

I don't know about you but I intend on marrying someone in my age range.

 

[GQ Chris]

Well you do somewhat.

I don't know about you but I intend on marrying someone in my age range.

That's boasting, how do you know what the future holds?

 

[latteda]

Um, yeah, pretty sure I don't have it.

It takes two, baby.

 

[traingosorry]

I do not have said gift.

 

[justanobserver]

I went with I don't know what the 'gift' is which is to say, is it a gift that gets returned to the Single Store for something else at the relationship return counter or when others think I need the gift of singleness, can i ask for a gift card instead and pick something else of my own choosing????

 

[Supplanter]

yeah but you said you'd be a sad Panda about it, lol. Of course things could be better, but once the Novelty wears off, it's just like anything else, just check out the Married forums, lol. It is just a different set of problems, instead of Single problems they will be Marriage problems.

I don't think it is a matter of trading in problems. In fact, being married can alleviate some problems. The main issues comes with having to be mature enough to be fully committed someone and selfless enough to continually put their needs before your own. However, if a relationship is going great and all cogs are meshing nicely, then there is no reason to think that the marriage will not continue to be a blissful state. It takes knowing that it will be a lot of hard work and being willing to do that work, but it is the same with being single. We have goals that we want to meet personally and professionally and that takes commitment and work.

We were made for companionship. It is a myth to believe that a marriage won't have problems, but it is also a myth to believe that marriages can't be blissfully happy despite having some bumps along the way.