The Excuse Game

[Quid est Veritas?]

Bismillah, no!... Wait, wrong song.

Help me record my album of covers of the greatest covers of all time.

 

[Chesterton]

If you're doing covers of covers, I'll just wait till you're done then make a recording of the recording.

Scaramouche, Scaramouche will you do the fandango?

 

[Olmhinlu]

I would, but there's a storm outside, and I'm too scared to do anything but curl up in the fetal position under my weighted blanket.

Would you please do my laundry?

 

[Quid est Veritas?]

Sorry, but I am a severe Biblical literalist, so I am forced to go about in the nude, as I am no longer under the sin of Adam. Those garments are a sign of your subjection to sin, and should be discarded.

Could you open the window a crack?

 

[public hermit]

I'm sorry, I can't do that. I have very little patience for anything that smacks of minimalist tendencies. Cracks just irritate me. Where's my hammer?

Would you help me clean up all this broken glass?

 

[Quid est Veritas?]

I am a glass half empty kind of guy, but it is far too depressing to consider that it might be smashed entirely.

Could you soundproof my kids' room?

 

[LaSorcia]

Your kids are so loud, only deafness will provide the needed soundproofing!

Please babysit for Quid's kids. I can't take the noise any longer.

 

[Quid est Veritas?]

Alas, no one wants to babysit Quid's kids. They are very cute, but their screams rend the afrighted skies.

Do you want a slice of cake?

 

[Tom 1]

As you have omitted the customary 'and a cup of tea' I cannot possibly partake.

Make my dogs like the new cats.

 

[Olmhinlu]

Impossible - noone likes cats.

Change my mind about cats.

 

[Quid est Veritas?]

Last time I tried to convince someone to give a chance to an animal they didn't like, it resulted in the strange Brony My Little Pony fandom. Hello Kitty has suffered enough.

Could you please not wash my tinfoil hat!

 

[( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)]

Last time I tried to convince someone to give a chance to an animal they didn't like, it resulted in the strange Brony My Little Pony fandom. Hello Kitty has suffered enough.

Could you please not wash my tinfoil hat!

Sorry. Your dirty little thoughts and ideas are still being sived thru.

Donate to my lemonade stand.

 

[Quid est Veritas?]

Donate? You mean you have no product for me to buy? Clearly you are just laundering your ill-gotten stolen lunch money.

Get me the appropriate permit to build a moat.

 

[( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)]

Donate? You mean you have no product for me to buy? Clearly you are just laundering your ill-gotten stolen lunch money.

Get me the appropriate permit to build a moat.

Why would I do that when you've trained your alligators to not bite and be petted?

KILL HIM!

 

[public hermit]

But he has trained alligators, so...I don't think I can.

I have a meeting tomorrow. Would you mind attending for me? It's a conference call. You don't have to lie, just say, "Aye!" whenever they say, "All in favor, say 'Aye!'" It would be exactly what I would say. Cool?

 

[Quid est Veritas?]

Um, last time I did that, I was subpoenaed by The Hague - something about jeansides, I wasn't really listening.

Meet me at 10 and we can discuss.

 

[mama2one]

you decide....
daughter says I change subjects a lot, so it'll be a great discussion, lol




Quid's noisy kids....join US for a scream session outside...we are really good @ screaming as there are these huge spiders out back

 

[LaSorcia]

Sorry, I can't... I'm running from the spiders!

Help me hang these tapestries straight. I just got the complete Hunt of the Unicorn.

 

[Quid est Veritas?]

Your Voldemort fandom is really getting out of hand. I am not going to enable it.

When we said we are to bury the hatchet, I didn't mean in my back!

 

[LaSorcia]

Hey, I have bad aim!

Tell the kids a story about the knights of the round table.