The Boss's Daughter

[FaithWeaver]

My husband works directly for my dad who owns a company in Georgia. Brandon, my hubby, is the supervisor. Whenever he has a problem at work, he comes home and I hear about it. Not only is he talking about his boss, but he's talking about my daddy. Also, I hear the other side of the story from my mom. I talk to my mom, and it seems that I take up for Brandon. I talk to Brandon, and it seems that I take up for daddy. I'm caught in the middle. Brandon loves his job, and he doesn't want to quit. Daddy would never fire Brandon. Is anyone else in a similar situation? Got any good advice?

 

[EmSchmem]

Is it just general yapping that most of us do about our jobs? If he loves his jobs, it may just be general complaing. It doesn't sound like he's directly complaining about your dad. Maybe you can say you're willing to hear general complaints but when he's talking directly about your dad he needs to complain to a buddy or something.

 

[Got Eternal Life?]

My husband used to work for my dad but, that was a very long time ago! Even then, they managed to get along just fine. I may not have the best advice in the world but, is Brandon able to just leave work at work or does he have to vent? My husband and I work together (though we only see each other for about 15 minutes a day), and that's what we do. We don't discuss work at home.

If he needs to vent then maybe you could make the suggestion that he doesn't point fingers at your dad and the same from your mom's side.

 

[Yitzchak]

My only advice is to keep it in perspective. When your husband complains about your Dad, It is not something that doesn't matter at all. But it is also an unpleasant thing and not a huge crisis. Patience and small reactions are called for as opposed to an ultimatum on your part. Try to deal with your own feelings about it first and deal with your husband geetly and look towards the long term reather than just the present.

 

[heartnsoul]

Sounds like you're in a tough spot. Try to remain objective if you can when listening to your husband vent and while listening to your mother vent. I guess they are looking to you to either be the peacemaker or the sounding board. If they want you to be a peacemaker, then you'll need to be objective and give objective advice without getting too emotional. If they want you to just be there as a sounding board to hear them vent, then just let them vent and then maybe change the subject to something more pleasant. Sometimes our spouses vent because there is no one else they can vent to...so we're it. If you can't be objective, then just let them both know that you do not want to be part of the solution of the problem. You dad and husband will need to talk things over face to face instead venting at home. Good luck with everything and hopefully they can work things out without getting you involved.

 

[murron]

LOL! Yes, I am in this same spot!!! Hubby and Dad run a shop together, and dad lives across the street from us.

I've learned that the best thing I can do is point out to each of them the other person's perspective without any sort of recriminations. The key really is to be able to do it without appearing to take sides. I don't take sides. They're men; they have different ideas; they handle things differently than women do. Sometimes, they both just need to be knocked upside the head, lol. The few times they butt heads, they usually manage to resolve it fairly quickly. That's the really cool thing about watching these two men...men really ARE capable of disagreeing (even vehemently) with each other and once it's resolved, leave it in the past.

 

[bliz]

I think it's time for hubby to bruch off his resume and get a new job... but in the meantime...

Tell your Mom that it puts way too much pressure on you to hear her version of Dad's retelling of what Brandon did or did not do. Ask her to simply keep such information to herself. If this is a backchannel your Dad is using, that's dirty and that line of communication should be closed for good, but chances are he's just venting... At the same time, don't convey to your Mom what Brandodn is thinking or feeling about things at the office. These guys are big boys and if they are unable to speak directly to each other, that's a pity, but it's a skill they should acquire.

You married the guy. Your #1 loyalty and allegiance now goes to him. Listen to him vent about work as if your Dad were not involved in anyway.

Start reading up on family businesses. THere has been considerable study, research and writing about them. They are organizations with lots of really deep pot holes that people can get lost in.

 

[ysl_75]

My husband works directly for my dad who owns a company in Georgia. Brandon, my hubby, is the supervisor. Whenever he has a problem at work, he comes home and I hear about it. Not only is he talking about his boss, but he's talking about my daddy. Also, I hear the other side of the story from my mom. I talk to my mom, and it seems that I take up for Brandon. I talk to Brandon, and it seems that I take up for daddy. I'm caught in the middle. Brandon loves his job, and he doesn't want to quit. Daddy would never fire Brandon. Is anyone else in a similar situation? Got any good advice?

Maybe just listen but don't give any comment. Its very hard to speak out for everyone especially they are your family.