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The Avoidant Personality Club

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Worcester Beacon

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joyfuljudith said:
I'm willing to give it a go ... I'll join you...

what shall we chat about?

Judith
Click to expand...

How about something gentle, what do we like to watch on TV, seeing as we are from different parts of the world that could be interesting, I'll start.
I'm into history documentries, comedy and films, the odd quiz show like Mastermind or University Challenge. I like horror films and stories, vampire in particular. When I was a child the TV was a family thing unlike today where it seems that everyone has there own TV. In our house depending on the programme we laughed or cried together, tried to answer questions on quizzes or maybe argue over the sport (but that was rare, our house was a majority of females).
I don't like soap operas such as East Enders or Coronation Street or reality shows. Even though I know most modern films contain a lot of bad language and sexual scenes I'm not overly keen on that, so I tend to like the old films, young peoples such as Harry Potter or Narnia.
In Britain we have what's called 'The Water shed' which means after 9.00 in the evening the more adult programmes are shown, is like that in your part of the world? And how does TV fit in with your faith?
 
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Worcester Beacon

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Hi Mel, sorry that your day was not that great. Hope the head is much better today. What football team do you follow (Is American football not soccer?)? Sorry, I late in reply, I hit the sack just before 1.00am, church this morning. The day has started quite good, being as it is Sunday, relaxing with the TV on and browsing CF. Hope to speak to you later.
 
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J

joyfuljudith

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Hi....

Hope you all are having a good week.... I'm kinda struggling .... but could be worse!

I have a confession ... I don't have a television ... I was getting too involved with the pictures. I do have a dvd player on the computer and watch films... love rom coms!

I am looking forward to the end of the week. Tommorow afternoon I am going to a cremation .. saying goodbye can be sad.... I'll be taking my laundry to the laundrette on Friday - so expect it to rain then. It normally rains when I vist there... even though they dry it for me as well!

Let's go get 'em!

Judith
 
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Worcester Beacon

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Hi Judith

Never mind about the TV (not much on these days, I use it for my PS2 or DVD's), films are just as good, my wife is in to 'rom coms' than myself, fraid typical male, horrors and such, My weeks not bad so far, not too many aches and pains. Sorry about the cremation attendance, it's not easy going to a funeral and saying goodbye, been there, sadly (and maybe joyfully depending on your beliefs!). Hope friday is Sunny for you, here we have hit the wet season. My outlook on weather is that it is God given so I try to enjy all weather's, though I don't like too much sun.

WB
 
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joyfuljudith

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Hi...

how is everyone doing?

I have decisions to make about going into paid employment ... and I'm getting stressed about it all.... I do voluntary work so hours aren't too much of a problem for me ... I'm not even sure if it would be worth it finacially to get paid job... I'm not into money ... yes, I like to have some for food, clothes, bills etc. but I'm not money orientated. I'm thetype of person that if I have money and you wanted some I'd give it to you... and when I haven't got much I survive on baked pots and baked beans!

Has anyone read/used the book "Feeling Good" by David Burns? I'm reading it... very interesting!

Pop by when you can!

Judith
 
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Worcester Beacon

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Hi Judith

Good to hear from you again. I've not read the book you mentioned, I've started reading stuff about the American Civil War, as I have just started to do some private research on the subject, I love history. I researching three main areas, Southern Coloured involvement, Northern Coloured involvement and the Native American involvement.
Prayer may help you decide on the employment scene. When I was much fitter I did quite a bit of voluntary work, 25 years on and off as a Scout leader, did some Sunday school and was even a professional volunteer with CSV for 18 months. But those days are over now. I hope whichever you choose you enjoy, any ideas as to what you may do? I'll remember you in my prayers.
 
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ZiggyShrugged

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Avoidant Survey:

How long have you known that you have been an Avoidant?
I guess I've always kinda been one (and I'm also a professional procrastinater)

Who in your family, is an avoidant?
my dad was

How many online friends do you have that your reguarally chat with?
Guess it would depend upon the definition of regularly

How many PM's do you receive a day?
1-2 week

How many emails do you receive a day or week?
Maybe 5 or so

How many online friends have burned you?
2

How many offline friends do you have? Just 1 now that I really do anything with, I lost my best friend over something someone else did

How many "aquaintances friends do you have?
Well I know a lot of people and a lot of people know me, but we're only friendly really in passing, not like we stop and talk all the time

How many very close friends do you have (including family/spouse)?
1

How many friends did you have when you were younger (high school)? 3

What clique did you belong to when you were (are) in high School?
the strange kids click, I was artistic and kinda smart so, but not pretty or popular

Did you talk to your stuffed animals alot as a kid?
I played with them like real toys not just put them on my bed

What was/is closer to you, friends or your stuffed animals?
Neither one, I buried myself in my art and reading

What do you avoid the most?
getting hurt by letting people know the real me

Is it easier for you to make friends or lose them?
lose them - I'm one of those people either you like me or you don't, there's no middle ground
 
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ZiggyShrugged

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I think the reason I am an "avoider" is because I just don't seem to ever know the right thing to say or do. I try to be a good daughter, but then I just end up messing things up. I try to be a good friend, but then whatever I do seems to be the wrong thing.

I also worry that if anyone ever knew the real me, they wouldn't like me, so I think I try to be someone else that people will like and do my best to keep the real me hidden away so the real me won't get hurt.
 
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Worcester Beacon

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Keeping the real you hidden from the world is normal for the avoider. The only person (apart from God of course!) who really knows me is my wife. Outside of the home, the hidden me is hidden by someone who always saying silly things or acting happy all the time when in reality I could be crying. There are times when people have to listen to me at my church, that is only because I am the treasurer.

Just try being you in this club, do it a littlle at a time you'll be surprised how good it feels. I see that you you are an artist, what do you like to paint? My creative side (I think it is?) is poetry.
 
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ZiggyShrugged

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Worcester Beacon said:
Just try being you in this club, do it a littlle at a time you'll be surprised how good it feels.
Click to expand...

It's still hard though, because no matter what, whatever one reveals becomes a permanent part of what other people think of them. That's one of the sad things about human frailty -- while God can remove those things as the East is from the West, we humans can't, and once those seeds are planted, it's very difficult, if not next to impossible to remove them or prevent them from influencing how one see's another.

Worcester Beacon said:
I see that you you are an artist, what do you like to paint? My creative side (I think it is?) is poetry.
Click to expand...

I like painting, but I think I am better at drawing (and I like it more). I do a lot of arts and crafts stuff too, like hook-rugs, sewing, glasswork, etc. I also like to write. I wrote a lot of poetry when I was younger, but now I mainly write stories. I would love to write a children's book one day and illustrate it ... but I'm just to scared and intimidated by the process, so I'll probably never do it.
 
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Worcester Beacon

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I love writing too, like you I am afraid of rejection. But hopefully one day I will get published. I have encouragement off my wife, she doesn't like my stories but loves the poetry. So, when finishes Uni next May she wants me to try and get published.
Why don't you write your stories first, everything one step at a time, then think about publishers later, if you're meant to do it you will, God is there to it happen. What sort of childrens stories do you write?
 
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