The Avoidant Personality Club

[apple_on_a_tree]

I am so that person. Well sorta. I can be. I was a major social butterfly in my freshmen year of college, but since then I have become more and more closed off. Thank God I have my husband who allows me to be comfortable, but also pulls me out of that comfort zone every once and a while.

Avoidant Survey:

How long have you known that you have been an Avoidant? Since I was 13... before that I was a real sociable girl
Who in your family, is an avoidant? My Dad
How many online friends do you have that your reguarally chat with? I think two
How many PM's do you receive a day? 0
How many emails do you receive a day or week? Outside of advertisements about 3 a day
How many online friends have burned you? None I don't let me get that far
How many offline friends do you have? 6
How many "aquaintances friends do you have? several
How many very close friends do you have (including family/spouse)? 2 or 3 at most
How many friends did you have when you were younger (high school)? a few
What clique did you belong to when you were (are) in high School? music nerds
Did you talk to your stuffed animals alot as a kid? didn't everybody
What was/is closer to you, friends or your stuffed animals? stuffed animals back then, but now my husband
What do you avoid the most? new people and bad people
Is it easier for you to make friends or lose them? I don't know... I have lost many over the years, but I can make them right back usually.

 

[aflower4God]

I am so that person. Well sorta. I can be. I was a major social butterfly in my freshmen year of college, but since then I have become more and more closed off. Thank God I have my husband who allows me to be comfortable, but also pulls me out of that comfort zone every once and a while.

Avoidant Survey:

How long have you known that you have been an Avoidant? Since I was 13... before that I was a real sociable girl
Who in your family, is an avoidant? My Dad
How many online friends do you have that your reguarally chat with? I think two
How many PM's do you receive a day? 0
How many emails do you receive a day or week? Outside of advertisements about 3 a day
How many online friends have burned you? None I don't let me get that far
How many offline friends do you have? 6
How many "aquaintances friends do you have? several
How many very close friends do you have (including family/spouse)? 2 or 3 at most
How many friends did you have when you were younger (high school)? a few
What clique did you belong to when you were (are) in high School? music nerds
Did you talk to your stuffed animals alot as a kid? didn't everybody
What was/is closer to you, friends or your stuffed animals? stuffed animals back then, but now my husband
What do you avoid the most? new people and bad people
Is it easier for you to make friends or lose them? I don't know... I have lost many over the years, but I can make them right back usually.

Welcome friend You sound a lot like me. I have avoided so far 3 office meetings and we have had a total of 3. I dont really get along with most people in my office, they think that I am so weird because I am Christlike, not married, nor do I have kids, and I am the ONLY one in that office who is like this. They are so busy trying so hard to fit in with others, and I can not stand keeping up with others, I am me!!

Anyway a BIG welcome to you!

 

[Goldenrod]

.

 

[mnolen82]

Avoidant Survey:

How long have you known that you have been an Avoidant? Probably my entire life though I didn't know the word that was used to describe it.

Who in your family, is an avoidant? I really think I'm the only one. My mom and both brothers are extremely outgoing and the exact opposite of me. Perhaps my biological father though I don't know him.

How many online friends do you have that your reguarally chat with? I really don't have any

How many PM's do you receive a day? 0

How many emails do you receive a day or week? Do junk e-mails count? If not, probably 0-1 in a week.

How many online friends have burned you? I would say 2.

How many offline friends do you have? I would say 3

How many "aquaintances friends do you have? A lot from work and church.

How many very close friends do you have (including family/spouse)? 4

How many friends did you have when you were younger (high school)? Probably 2 real friends.

What clique did you belong to when you were (are) in high School? I was a band nerd.

Did you talk to your stuffed animals alot as a kid? Yes, I actually used to play teacher and they would be my students.

What was/is closer to you, friends or your stuffed animals? Back in the day, it was a pretty close match between my favorite teddy bear Bessy and my friends. Now, it would be my friends.

What do you avoid the most? Social interaction with people I don't know.

Is it easier for you to make friends or lose them? Lose them. It takes a long time for me to make friends.

 

[DrJill]

I have that

 

[DrJill]

How long have you known that you have been an Avoidant? this year



Who in your family, is an avoidant? Just me.

How many online friends do you have that your reguarally chat with? no one

How many PM's do you receive a day? 0

How many emails do you receive a day or week? 0 all my online friends ditched me, guess its karma

How many online friends have burned you? 2 online friends

How many offline friends do you have? 0

How many "aquaintances friends do you have? 0
How many very close friends do you have (including family/spouse)? 0

How many friends did you have when you were younger (high school)? 0

What clique did you belong to when you were (are) in high School? the freak show

Did you talk to your stuffed animals alot as a kid? no
What was/is closer to you, friends or your stuffed animals? the friends in my mind
What do you avoid the most? Social interaction period
Is it easier for you to make friends or lose them? lose them, my favorite male friend ditched me

 

[4Everloved]

I have never thought of myself as Avoidant; I came into this thread because I was curious. However, I meet many of the standards. I am 47 years old and have had lots of strategies, methods, and coping skills formed to compensate. It's hard for me to admit, but after reading this and asking questions, I do possess characteristics. But this is the way God made me! He can use us the way we are. Depending upon Him is the key. This has been very interesting to me finding this club today.

How long have you known that you have been an Avoidant? I can remember being that way since the 2nd Grade.

Who in your family, is an avoidant? My mother was. I think my brother is also. AND...my daughter.

How many online friends do you have that your reguarally chat with? one

How many PM's do you receive a day? 4

How many emails do you receive a day or week? numerous

How many online friends have burned you? one in the past

How many offline friends do you have? one close friend

How many "aquaintances friends do you have? several

How many very close friends do you have (including family/spouse)?
4
How many friends did you have when you were younger (high school)? around 12
What clique did you belong to when you were (are) in high School?
belonged to two different cliques; one church friends and other one "good girls who get good grades"

Did you talk to your stuffed animals alot as a kid?
No. I talked to my dolls, myself, and God.

What was/is closer to you, friends or your stuffed animals?
Friends.
What do you avoid the most?
Being rejected.
Is it easier for you to make friends or lose them?
I can make friends tentatively, but it doesn't stick. People seem to find me strange and different and I'm not generally approachable. I have my moments of friendliness though. I have learned how to act "perky" when I'm feeling confident, lol.

Okay all, if you can think of some more NON-PERSONAL questions PLEASE post them!

 

[FLBear]

Hi, All.
Guess I'm one also. Let's see what the survey says....

How long have you known that you have been an Avoidant? I figured it out 30 some years ago, before I knew a name for it.
Who in your family, is an avoidant? None in my adopted family.
How many online friends do you have that your reguarally chat with? None
How many PM's do you receive a day? none
How many emails do you receive a day or week? numerous advertising but no personal
How many online friends have burned you? never had any
How many offline friends do you have? none
How many "aquaintances friends do you have? several
How many very close friends do you have (including family/spouse)? 1
How many friends did you have when you were younger (high school)? 2
What clique did you belong to when you were (are) in high School?
belonged to the bunch of dopers/loners
Did you talk to your stuffed animals alot as a kid?
No. My mom took my bear away when I was 6 +/-. I talked to myself and God.
What was/is closer to you, friends or your stuffed animals?
Have another option?
What do you avoid the most?
Being rejected/hurt.
Is it easier for you to make friends or lose them?
I can't make friends easily. People find me strange and different and I'm not generally approachable. I have my moments of friendliness though.

 

[aflower4God]

Hi, All.
Guess I'm one also. Let's see what the survey says....

How long have you known that you have been an Avoidant? I figured it out 30 some years ago, before I knew a name for it.
Who in your family, is an avoidant? None in my adopted family.
How many online friends do you have that your reguarally chat with? None
How many PM's do you receive a day? none
How many emails do you receive a day or week? numerous advertising but no personal
How many online friends have burned you? never had any
How many offline friends do you have? none
How many "aquaintances friends do you have? several
How many very close friends do you have (including family/spouse)? 1
How many friends did you have when you were younger (high school)? 2
What clique did you belong to when you were (are) in high School?
belonged to the bunch of dopers/loners
Did you talk to your stuffed animals alot as a kid?
No. My mom took my bear away when I was 6 +/-. I talked to myself and God.
What was/is closer to you, friends or your stuffed animals?
Have another option?
What do you avoid the most?
Being rejected/hurt.
Is it easier for you to make friends or lose them?
I can't make friends easily. People find me strange and different and I'm not generally approachable. I have my moments of friendliness though.

HI there friend and welcome to the club.

I want to say hang in there and I know what you mean about having a very hard time making friends. I think people think I am very odd or boring or something, plus I am very VERY shy. Welcome!

To all I want to say welcome

 

[Worcester Beacon]

How long have you known you have been Avoidant?
Most of my life, didn't know there was a name for it, I always classed it has being a loner.
Who in your family is an avoidant?
None
How many online friends do you have that you regualrly chat with?
None
How many PM's do you recieve a day?
None on a regular basis.
How many emails do you recieve a day or week?
As a friend none, as I am church treasurer, I a recieve few for that and not many.
How many online friends have burned you?
None as I have noe.
How many offline friends do you?
None.
How many acuaintances do you have?
Many at my church, but apart from being treasurer if I left the church tommorow I doubt that I would be missed.
How many close friends do you have (including family/spouse)?
1 my wife
How many friends did you have when you were younger (high school)?
Only fairweather friends when it suited them.
What clique did you belong when you were (are) in high school?
The loners and bullied.
Did you talk to your stuffed animals a lot as a kid?
Do toy soldiers and real animals count and stuffed animals.?
What was/is closer to you friends your stuffed animals?
Stuffed animals.
What do you avoid most?
People, that why I don't get hurt.
Is it easier for you to make friends or lose them?
???
I have been involved in many things throughout my life, such as a leader in the Scout Movement for many years, even when in charge I have been an outsider, the scouts is just one example as I have always been the outsider in most things I do. I throw myself into everything at home such as hobbies. These days the only person (apart from God) that I trust is my wife, we have been together for 23 years. Strangely she is an avoider also. On forums it is easier to talk at times as there is no personal face-to face contact.

Apart from all of the above I would like to say hi to everyone in the Avoidant Club!

 

[aflower4God]

Stuffed animals.
What do you avoid most?
People, that why I don't get hurt.

I have been involved in many things throughout my life, such as a leader in the Scout Movement for many years, even when in charge I have been an outsider, the scouts is just one example as I have always been the outsider in most things I do. I throw myself into everything at home such as hobbies. These days the only person (apart from God) that I trust is my wife, we have been together for 23 years. Strangely she is an avoider also. On forums it is easier to talk at times as there is no personal face-to face contact.

Apart from all of the above I would like to say hi to everyone in the Avoidant Club!

Welcome to the club friend! You are so much like me. Especially how you can only rely on one person other than God. I also do not like to meet new people in person because I get very nervous thus I dont know what to say, and they act as if I am boring. Anyway, I hope you enjoy this club!

 

[Worcester Beacon]

Welcome to the club friend! You are so much like me. Especially how you can only rely on one person other than God. I also do not like to meet new people in person because I get very nervous thus I dont know what to say, and they act as if I am boring. Anyway, I hope you enjoy this club!

Thank you, I believe that I will. Isn't it fantastic how God works, here we are with the problem of communicating with others and He has given us the solution.

 

[joyfuljudith]

Hi....

I'm avoidant .....

I have no friends ... but I would like contact with people ... even though they are scarey!

The thought of going to church terrifies me .... and I need to find one ... if only there wasn't a choice!

I want a way out of my ... comfortable... yet painful ... cell.....

I know God is healing me and renewing me ....

I'm scared... guess I'll go hide!

God bless

Judith

 

[Worcester Beacon]

Hi Judith, welcome to the club, you are not alone all of us in this section feel the same way to a greater or lesser degree.

WB

 

[Worcester Beacon]

Welcome to the club friend! You are so much like me. Especially how you can only rely on one person other than God. I also do not like to meet new people in person because I get very nervous thus I dont know what to say, and they act as if I am boring. Anyway, I hope you enjoy this club!

I know what you mean, when I get into conversation I'm okay for moment or so, youknow the usual 'hello', 'nice weather', 'good service' etc, after that I would rather get away because conversation either dries up or to cover myself I talk absolute drivvle! Fortunately I managed to say the right things when I met my future wife, as normal talk to females again would end up me saying nonsense and make me look stupid.

 

[GooglyMelsiePoogly]

Is it too late to join the club?

Avoidant Survey:

How long have you known that you have been an Avoidant?
For the past few years.

Who in your family, is an avoidant?
Dadddy.

How many online friends do you have that your reguarally chat with?
About two, not counting just posting around on the forums.

How many PM's do you receive a day?
Usually 0.

How many emails do you receive a day or week?
Maybe 2.

How many online friends have burned you?
Not necassarily burned, we just all have our own lives now.

How many offline friends do you have?
Several, but only 1 really close friend at the moment.

How many "aquaintances" friends do you have?
Quite a few.

How many very close friends do you have (including family/spouse)?
1.

How many friends did you have when you were younger (high school)?
I've never had a whole bunch of close friends.

What clique did you belong to when you were (are) in high School?
I'm a bit of a jock, but not the popular kind, I'm pretty much the invisible kid.

Did you talk to your stuffed animals alot as a kid?
Naw. I talked to my real animals.

What was/is closer to you, friends or your stuffed animals?
My pets.

What do you avoid the most?
Emotional connections... its hard for me to give myself emotionally, takes quite a lot actually.

Is it easier for you to make friends or lose them?
Lose them... and I don't know why, I'm the most loyal person you'll ever meet.

 

[aflower4God]

Thank you, I believe that I will. Isn't it fantastic how God works, here we are with the problem of communicating with others and He has given us the solution.

AMEN brother!! I hear ya and I am glad that you came here as well.

Hi....

I'm avoidant .....

I have no friends ... but I would like contact with people ... even though they are scarey!

The thought of going to church terrifies me .... and I need to find one ... if only there wasn't a choice!

I want a way out of my ... comfortable... yet painful ... cell.....

I know God is healing me and renewing me ....

I'm scared... guess I'll go hide!

God bless

Judith

Welcome to our club. I am glad you found us here. I hope that this will be helpful to you sister.

God bless ya!!!

Is it too late to join the club?

Avoidant Survey:

How long have you known that you have been an Avoidant?
For the past few years.

Who in your family, is an avoidant?
Dadddy.

How many online friends do you have that your reguarally chat with?
About two, not counting just posting around on the forums.

How many PM's do you receive a day?
Usually 0.

How many emails do you receive a day or week?
Maybe 2.

How many online friends have burned you?
Not necassarily burned, we just all have our own lives now.

How many offline friends do you have?
Several, but only 1 really close friend at the moment.

How many "aquaintances" friends do you have?
Quite a few.

How many very close friends do you have (including family/spouse)?
1.

How many friends did you have when you were younger (high school)?
I've never had a whole bunch of close friends.

What clique did you belong to when you were (are) in high School?
I'm a bit of a jock, but not the popular kind, I'm pretty much the invisible kid.

Did you talk to your stuffed animals alot as a kid?
Naw. I talked to my real animals.

What was/is closer to you, friends or your stuffed animals?
My pets.

What do you avoid the most?
Emotional connections... its hard for me to give myself emotionally, takes quite a lot actually.

Is it easier for you to make friends or lose them?
Lose them... and I don't know why, I'm the most loyal person you'll ever meet.

Hi there friend. I totally hear ya, I was more or less invisable in HS as well.

God bless you all and another warm WELCOME!

 

[Worcester Beacon]

Is it too late to join the club?

Avoidant Survey:

How long have you known that you have been an Avoidant?
For the past few years.

Who in your family, is an avoidant?
Dadddy.

How many online friends do you have that your reguarally chat with?
About two, not counting just posting around on the forums.

How many PM's do you receive a day?
Usually 0.

How many emails do you receive a day or week?
Maybe 2.

How many online friends have burned you?
Not necassarily burned, we just all have our own lives now.

How many offline friends do you have?
Several, but only 1 really close friend at the moment.

How many "aquaintances" friends do you have?
Quite a few.

How many very close friends do you have (including family/spouse)?
1.

How many friends did you have when you were younger (high school)?
I've never had a whole bunch of close friends.

What clique did you belong to when you were (are) in high School?
I'm a bit of a jock, but not the popular kind, I'm pretty much the invisible kid.

Did you talk to your stuffed animals alot as a kid?
Naw. I talked to my real animals.

What was/is closer to you, friends or your stuffed animals?
My pets.

What do you avoid the most?
Emotional connections... its hard for me to give myself emotionally, takes quite a lot actually.

Is it easier for you to make friends or lose them?
Lose them... and I don't know why, I'm the most loyal person you'll ever meet.

Hi, it's never too late, welcome to the club.

 

[Worcester Beacon]

I was thinking, this is a club for those of us who find it hard to communicate, mix and be a part of the real world. Here on line with God's guidance we can chat and become good friends. How about we try and start chatting to each other on a subject in this forum or start chatting to each other via PM's? I'm willing to give it a go, anyone want to join me?

 

[joyfuljudith]

I'm willing to give it a go ... I'll join you...

what shall we chat about?

Judith