The Avoidant Personality Club

[BeautifullyImperfect]

Hi there all, how are you feeling today?

anyway, I invite you to participate in this excersize. What will do if you want is to highlight the traits that is most like you (or your spose) and IF YOU WANT, you can explain more about why you think this okay here is the list:

1. avoids occupational activities that involve significant interpersonal contact, because of fears of criticism, disapproval, or rejection Totally me, let me just say this, I hate to even eat out cause of this.
2. is unwilling to get involved with people unless certain of being liked = oh yeah me again, I must "sense" that they will like me or I am not willing to talk to them, I may say hello but that is it
3. shows restraint within intimate relationships because of the fear of being shamed or ridiculed - maybe this explains why I am in my 30's and never been in love
4. is preoccupied with being criticized or rejected in social situations - OH YEAH this is definatly me!!!!! I am so scared of that, I even get depressed sometimes cause of this <
5. is inhibited in new interpersonal situations because of feelings of inadequacy Sometimes
6. views self as socially inept, personally unappealing, or inferior to others OH yes, especailly with certain types of people
7. is unusually reluctant to take personal risks or to engage in any new activities because they may prove embarrassing Yeah, I would have to say most of the time, but if I HAVE too (like looking for a new job) I will.

Thank you all and I hope that this will help you too. More soon!


GOD BLESS and have a wonderful day!

Yep, all of those apply to me.

 

[equal-minded]

Goob!!!!!

My ol' buddy!! I didn't realize you were an avoidant!! =O

Heck, Kidd, I didn't realize that YOU were an avoidant!

1. avoids occupational activities that involve significant interpersonal contact, because of fears of criticism, disapproval, or rejection Usually, unless I know I'm pretty good at it or I'm with people I know really well.
2. is unwilling to get involved with people unless certain of being liked Yep. That's me. Dead ringer.
3. shows restraint within intimate relationships because of the fear of being shamed or ridiculed - That would explain a lot...
4. is preoccupied with being criticized or rejected in social situations - Yep, that's me again.
5. is inhibited in new interpersonal situations because of feelings of inadequacy Sometimes. Usually it's because I'm too shy to do anything
6. views self as socially inept, personally unappealing, or inferior to others That's me again. Durn Elementary school...
7. is unusually reluctant to take personal risks or to engage in any new activities because they may prove embarrassing Not necessarily. Usually, it's the shyness thing coming out again.

 

[BeautifullyImperfect]

Hmm.... yes, I suppose I hide it rather well online...

 

[aflower4God]

Hi everyone I hope that you all have a GREAT weekend! I am thinking bout you all! I will have more exercises coming up soon VERY SOON!

God bless you all

 

[flying_kiwifruit]

Questionare 1

How long have you known that you have been an Avoidant? Dont know.
Who in your family, is an avoidant? None
How many online friends do you have that your reguarally chat with? 1
How many PM's do you receive a day? 0
How many emails do you receive a day or week? 5 or 6
How many online friends have burned you? Dont know what you mean by burned but too many have stopped talking to me
How many offline friends do you have? 4
How many "aquaintances friends do you have? Lots, that what happen while your still at High School
How many very close friends do you have (including family/spouse)? 3 my BF and my two close mates.
How many friends did you have when you were younger (Primary for me im at high school)? 0
What clique did you belong to when you were (are) in high School? out casts
Did you talk to your stuffed animals alot as a kid? sometimes
What was/is closer to you, friends or your stuffed animals? Cant remember
What do you avoid the most? Getting rejected ot hurt
Is it easier for you to make friends or lose them? About the same

Questionare 2

1. avoids occupational activities that involve significant interpersonal contact, because of fears of criticism, disapproval, or rejection I prefer to work on my own at all times
2. is unwilling to get involved with people unless certain of being liked Yeah pretty much, people have to approch me first
3. shows restraint within intimate relationships because of the fear of being shamed or ridiculed - Hits the nail on the head
4. is preoccupied with being criticized or rejected in social situations - You could say that
5. is inhibited in new interpersonal situations because of feelings of inadequacy sometimes i'm shy quite often
6. views self as socially inept, personally unappealing, or inferior to others Thats my past present and proberly future
7. is unusually reluctant to take personal risks or to engage in any new activities because they may prove embarrassing Yep, wont go anywhere new without someone else I know there, and even that s hard.

Now that those are done, I'll introduce my self.
Im Nat and what has been said describes me perfecally. I'm the type that prefer to be asorbed in a book than to be any where else.

 

[Goldenrod]

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[aflower4God]

Questionare 1

How long have you known that you have been an Avoidant? Dont know.
Who in your family, is an avoidant? None
How many online friends do you have that your reguarally chat with? 1
How many PM's do you receive a day? 0
How many emails do you receive a day or week? 5 or 6
How many online friends have burned you? Dont know what you mean by burned but too many have stopped talking to me
How many offline friends do you have? 4
How many "aquaintances friends do you have? Lots, that what happen while your still at High School
How many very close friends do you have (including family/spouse)? 3 my BF and my two close mates.
How many friends did you have when you were younger (Primary for me im at high school)? 0
What clique did you belong to when you were (are) in high School? out casts
Did you talk to your stuffed animals alot as a kid? sometimes
What was/is closer to you, friends or your stuffed animals? Cant remember
What do you avoid the most? Getting rejected ot hurt
Is it easier for you to make friends or lose them? About the same

Questionare 2

1. avoids occupational activities that involve significant interpersonal contact, because of fears of criticism, disapproval, or rejection I prefer to work on my own at all times
2. is unwilling to get involved with people unless certain of being liked Yeah pretty much, people have to approch me first
3. shows restraint within intimate relationships because of the fear of being shamed or ridiculed - Hits the nail on the head
4. is preoccupied with being criticized or rejected in social situations -You could say that
5. is inhibited in new interpersonal situations because of feelings of inadequacy sometimes i'm shy quite often
6. views self as socially inept, personally unappealing, or inferior to others Thats my past present and proberly future
7. is unusually reluctant to take personal risks or to engage in any new activities because they may prove embarrassing Yep, wont go anywhere new without someone else I know there, and even that s hard.

Now that those are done, I'll introduce my self.
Im Nat and what has been said describes me perfecally. I'm the type that prefer to be asorbed in a book than to be any where else.

I'll join the club. I barely have any friends. I'm awful at making friends with my age group, but I get along great with older people.

Let's see here... on CF, I'm Goldenrod. My real name is Marissa though. I like to draw, reading about interesting things, keeping up-to-date on everything, shopping, things that make me laugh, and feed birds. This summer, I just watched tv and was on the computer most of the time. ^^;

Alright, I guess I'll do the survey now.

Avoidant Survey:

How long have you known that you have been an Avoidant?

After the first grade. I never was good at making friends because I'm not that social around people I don't know.

Who in your family, is an avoidant?

Probably my mom. She only has a few friends she hangs out with. I think.

How many online friends do you have that your reguarally chat with?

Quite a few, but not 10+. I love recieving random pms, as long as their not discriminating. But I love talking to the user Daffodilly because she is so nice to me and everyone else in the Teen Girls' Club. ^^

How many PM's do you receive a day?

One or two at the most. I don't think I've ever gone beyond three.

How many emails do you receive a day or week?

Not counting my MySpace alert emails, I'd say about none.

How many online friends have burned you?


I don't really keep track of online friends. Is that okay? :/ Only one I guess for not liking a band I liked. >_>

Not having to do with the question, I have 5 friends on CF though. I barely talk to any of them though. I keep in touch by pm though, but I do emjoy chatting with them when they contact me. I think anyone likes that. ^^

I don't keep count of online friends though. Too stressfull.

How many offline friends do you have?

I don't know... only a few good ones and lots of aquantences.

But the birds I go feed by a park I consider my friends and children. If birds count...

How many "aquaintances friends do you have?

I don't know...I don't keep count.

How many very close friends do you have (including family/spouse)?

One at the moment. I gave my other close friend a Bible at school one day and after that, I never saw her at school or in rl or had a phone call from her since.

How many friends did you have when you were younger (high school)?

Oh, about 5 or 6. Kindergarden through 1st grade were my most popular days.

What clique did you belong to when you were (are) in high School?

The unpopular click which is at the Anime Club I go to. We're all different and crazy in there. xD And I mean crazy...

Did you talk to your stuffed animals alot as a kid?

Yes lol. I love stuffed animals still. I love playing claw machines and winning stuffed animals and then getting rid of them in the end. The cycle repeats itself. xD

What was/is closer to you, friends or your stuffed animals?

Friends of course. I'm not that obsessive over stuffed animals.

What do you avoid the most?

Stress and worry. I can't stand going through it. It makes my life miserable and I hate it.

Is it easier for you to make friends or lose them?

Make I guess. It's not very easy for me to make friends though. Like I said, I make friends with people older than me better than people my age. I'm an adult person.

Okay all, if you can think of some more NON-PERSONAL questions PLEASE post them!

What is your favorite flavor of ice cream?

^ That's a good one.

WELCOME to our newest members. I hope that you all find this club helpful too. PLEASE feel free to talk about whatever may be on your mind brothers and sister. AND I luv the question about the icecream flavor, I have many!

God bless you all!

 

[GrannieAnnie]

I found out yesterday that I think my pet rat has the beginnings of pneumonia, and there's nothing I can do about it....I'm SHATTERED...makes me just want to hide from the world. One day I'm going to have to decide when is the best time to...put him to sleep...I went to bed at 8pm last night and slept for 12 hours, Ijust can't face the world. Charlie is a beautiful little creature, I've only had him and his brother (Bruce) since Christmas. Sounds silly for a woman my age to be so upset about a RAT...but he's more than a rat to me......

Annie

 

[Goldenrod]

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[GrannieAnnie]

Thank you Goldenrod....I have been crying all the time about Charlie, and now Bruce has a little sneeze sometimes....from what I've read on the internet about the condition, it could take weeks or months before he dies, but I don't want him to suffer and as soon as I see him starting to suffer I'll take him to the vet. Actually my husband said he'd take him there. But I've been loving them and playing with them today. Sometimes he sneezes more than others....I'll see what enquiries I can make at a vet who I know deals with rodants and maybe they can help. When I love a creature, I love it 200%. I won't kill spiders...I relocate them...I only kill flies, mosquitoes and cockroaches and I know feral mice that come into the house have to be killed...but generally I hate killing any creature. Even little bugs or worms I'll put somewhere safe in the garden. I'm too much of a softy. I think I can be harder about people than animals.
Thank you for your story about "Heart" it's lovely that you sang to him....

Smiles and hugs,
Annie

 

[Goldenrod]

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[thenewageriseth]

Avoidant Survey:

How long have you known that you have been an Avoidant?
I think I'm avoidant, some of the time...
Who in your family, is an avoidant? My father, I dunno...
How many online friends do you have that you reguarally chat with? Hmm...2 or 3 at least...tops
How many PM's do you receive a day? 0, usually...some days I do recieve a few or one at least
How many emails do you receive a day or week? Spam? Junk? or People?
How many online friends have burned you? 2, so far really, i think, have burned me unintentionally

How many offline friends do you have? 2, I believe
How many "aquaintances friends do you have? Lotza lol
How many very close friends do you have (including family/spouse)? 2?
How many friends did you have when you were younger (high school)? um...I had a lot...actually
What clique did you belong to when you were (are) in high School?no cliques at my old school-everybody liked me
Did you talk to your stuffed animals alot as a kid? Yes

What was/is closer to you, friends or your stuffed animals? Depends
What do you avoid the most? getting hurt, or disappointed, at most
Is it easier for you to make friends or lose them? hmm...good question...it depends, I think

 

[GrannieAnnie]

*hugs* ^^ Same her! :O I'm a softy when it comes to animals as well. Spiders however.... I don't like them very much and big bugs creep me out, so I pick them up with an object.

And yes, Heart was a good little bird. He's in Heaven now; healthy and strong!

I also used to have a rat. I changed her name to Shasta to Shastina. I loved it when she ran around in her ball. ^^ Do you have any picture of Charlie? o.o

Actually..."the boys"....have seemed a little better in the last couple of days, so I'm trying to be optomistic. I've had my parents staying with us the last couple of days so that's taken my mind off bad things. Yes I have a couple of pics of the babies. Charlie ate another little hole in the leg of my jeans last night....little bugger !!!

 

[Goldenrod]

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[aflower4God]

From a TRUE avoidant here...check out my blog it says it all... basically it says talks all about how I lost out on "love" with this one dude.... CAUSE I was TOOOOOOOOOOOO late to ask about him.... my story is on my blog...(the last two entries)

 

[Amhacajo]

Avoidant Survey:

How long have you known that you have been an Avoidant?
I'd say all of my life. Can't remember ever feeling like I was ever not shy.
Who in your family, is an avoidant? my mother was and youngest son
How many online friends do you have that you reguarally chat with? 1 or 2
How many PM's do you receive a day?That depends. Not many. Sometimes 0
How many emails do you receive a day or week?
Not many. Always the same few people though
How many online friends have burned you? Don't think I've had that experience
How many offline friends do you have? 2 really close friends that I speak to regularly then a handful who would possibly fall into the next bracket
How many "aquaintances friends do you have? handful
How many very close friends do you have (including family/spouse)? 3 or 4 including my husband
How many friends did you have when you were younger (high school)? maybe about 6
What clique did you belong to when you were (are) in high School?the one that was not in the 'in' crowd
Did you talk to your stuffed animals alot as a kid? Yes

What was/is closer to you, friends or your stuffed animals? Friends
What do you avoid the most? Anything that involves socialising especially with people I don't know or not very well
Is it easier for you to make friends or lose them? From my experience it is easier to lose the friends

 

[PlanN2WalkONwata]

Well... i'm a little weird i guess... lol... I avoid anything uncomfortable... but i'm very outgoing and very look at me... i have tons of "friends"... but only 2 that i really talk to about "stuff"... i have no problem being the center of attention... as long as nothing's going wrong... but it's all very surface... they don't get anything deeper... i got them reinforced non-penetrating steel walls ... if only *I* know I've done something wrong... I start avoiding everybody... or if i just feel uncomfortable.. i'm very closed down and secretive about EVERYTHING which drives EVERYBODY nuts... my closest friends/family half the time feel like i'm putting them on a shelf... and they don't know how to deal with me... (although I have gotten much better with God's help this last few months)

 

[PlanN2WalkONwata]

Avoidant Survey:

How long have you known that you have been an Avoidant?
About a year... never stopped to think about it...
Who in your family, is an avoidant? My real parents
How many online friends do you have that you reguarally chat with? 0 - don't usually get online much
How many PM's do you receive a day?0
How many emails do you receive a day or week?
ummm... 1 this week lol..usually none
How many online friends have burned you? none... don't let em
How many offline friends do you have? 2 close ones... and about a million surface friends
How many "aquaintances friends do you have? tons
How many very close friends do you have (including family/spouse)? 3 including adopted mom
How many friends did you have when you were younger (high school)? real... always about 2-3 real one (but i still never shared anything).. but a million surface friends
What clique did you belong to when you were (are) in high School? i was totally "in" lol... i loved life and seemed not to be afraid to do anything
Did you talk to your stuffed animals alot as a kid? Yes

What was/is closer to you, friends or your stuffed animals? Friends
What do you avoid the most? Sharing anything that will make people "know" me... Everyone thinks I'm a "perfect angel"... can't let em think otherwise ... not allowed to show them that i hurt or that i have fears or that i'm not perfect... don't like pity... and if they know... they tend to make it last longer... I'm the "strong" one lol...
Is it easier for you to make friends or lose them? both are equal... i lose about as quick as i make em... just b/c the relationships aren't grounded... they're just fly by's

 

[sachimi]

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[sachimi]

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