...till 5 years ago I was an ordinary romantic guy, a post hippi, a revolutionist leftist, a rebel(?) maybe...
I was born in a secular-western cultured family but grown up in economical problems.In Turkey this means I was born to be a socialist rebel.
God,religion,praying was so grandma style things for a soo wise guy like me.Religion was just a morphine to keep people under control as Marx said...
But there should be a reason for my creation what I always felt.I hate to feel like a part of a mathematical problem.LUCK?? was that simple to explain all the suffering I saw around me or all the happiness I had till now?
One day I listened a rock opera called..J.C the superstar...Jesus has jumped into mylife as an idol of peace and rebellism.I started to read more about HIM and start to understand, the things we have been taught till that day about jesus,old and new testiments was all wrong.
I met a Christian Student Group meeting every sunday.I joined them.I had lot doubts about scientific evidience against creation.I could not understand what FAITH means in the beginning.
I didnot get what it means to be saved.What is sin?And how sin corrupted all world.
And maybe the most of all what was LOVE? True Love...
As days gone by, I read the booknamed '' more than a carpenter''...I understood that my PROUD made me close the door that Jesus has been knocking in a great patience.
One night I prayed. First time of mylife, I really left my image outside and be myself.
I felt the peace in me.I understood that I can be a real rebel.Rebel against the world without an rebel image.A real rebel and only weapon I have is my faith.
A great love to others..love that beats evil in every aspect.I start to see how anger and cursing makes me feel depressed, how Satan was making me feel depressed,pesimistic, angry so he can use me easily.Just like others...
But being saved was not enough.Till today, 5 years of my believer life, I never really let Jesus to direct me.I never let HIM rule my life.I prayed alot, served HIM in the Church.He used me in others life but for mylife I didnot let HIM to rule.
So now I collapsed.I can understand my mistake and thats why I got away from home.I want HIM to rule mylife from now on.I wanted to see HIS plan for me and the day I step back to homeland I no more wanna be the same guy.A Christian thats saved but not bearing enough fruits...
So thats basicly my testimony...
I was born in a secular-western cultured family but grown up in economical problems.In Turkey this means I was born to be a socialist rebel.
God,religion,praying was so grandma style things for a soo wise guy like me.Religion was just a morphine to keep people under control as Marx said...
But there should be a reason for my creation what I always felt.I hate to feel like a part of a mathematical problem.LUCK?? was that simple to explain all the suffering I saw around me or all the happiness I had till now?
One day I listened a rock opera called..J.C the superstar...Jesus has jumped into mylife as an idol of peace and rebellism.I started to read more about HIM and start to understand, the things we have been taught till that day about jesus,old and new testiments was all wrong.
I met a Christian Student Group meeting every sunday.I joined them.I had lot doubts about scientific evidience against creation.I could not understand what FAITH means in the beginning.
I didnot get what it means to be saved.What is sin?And how sin corrupted all world.
And maybe the most of all what was LOVE? True Love...
As days gone by, I read the booknamed '' more than a carpenter''...I understood that my PROUD made me close the door that Jesus has been knocking in a great patience.
One night I prayed. First time of mylife, I really left my image outside and be myself.
I felt the peace in me.I understood that I can be a real rebel.Rebel against the world without an rebel image.A real rebel and only weapon I have is my faith.
A great love to others..love that beats evil in every aspect.I start to see how anger and cursing makes me feel depressed, how Satan was making me feel depressed,pesimistic, angry so he can use me easily.Just like others...
But being saved was not enough.Till today, 5 years of my believer life, I never really let Jesus to direct me.I never let HIM rule my life.I prayed alot, served HIM in the Church.He used me in others life but for mylife I didnot let HIM to rule.
So now I collapsed.I can understand my mistake and thats why I got away from home.I want HIM to rule mylife from now on.I wanted to see HIS plan for me and the day I step back to homeland I no more wanna be the same guy.A Christian thats saved but not bearing enough fruits...
So thats basicly my testimony...
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