I wrote this down years ago but never thought I should share it. It's my testimony, and that's all it ever needs to be. Nevertheless, I'll post it here, where I'm sure it is in good hands.
My Testimony -
I have always believed in God. I've never questioned that. Perhaps because I was raised in a Christian household, or perhaps because the feeling of God being with me was always in my heart. Whatever the case, I've been a believer my whole life.
I was also a sinner. I never gave any thought to Jesus, or the Bible. I believed in my creator, but didn't care about much else. I loved girls and they loved me. I figured I'd settle down one day, but in the meantime, I wanted to have fun. I just loved girls. As many as possible. It was only until an atheist girl I was seeing challenged me about why I believed in God. All I had at that point was a miracle I had experienced at age 7.
But as far as believing Christianity was true...I had no idea. "Because my mom says it is" wouldn't suffice as a sound, logical answer. The girl claimed to be an atheist because of science, and was very uppity about it.
So I decided at that point, I needed to bite the bullet and learn. Learn about the science she believes disproves God, while also reading the Bible, books by apologists, books by atheists, etc. My theological library grew and grew, very fast, as I was very hungry to know more and more.
It was at that point that my sinful nature caught up with me, and I tested positive for genital herpes. Now, while this is no life or death disease, it was still upsetting, as I have always taken pride in my health.
The doctor gave me some antibiotics, but basically told me it's not likely that they'd help.
I started praying to God for him to take away my disease, and in the meantime, of course, I quit sleeping around. I made myself sick thinking about how disrespectful to God I had been. One night, I broke down, fell to my knees and cried out to God for forgiveness, desiring to walk with Him an give up my sinful past.
I continued reading the Bible (as well as Dawkins, Hitchens, and Russell), and started learning more about this God that I had thought I'd known my whole life. It turns out that while he was an acquaintance of mine, I never really knew him. But reading the Bible changed that. Now, instead of praying for him to take away my disease, I prayed every night that no matter what, I'd be happy. I prayed for Him to just help me through it, and realize how trivial it actually was (I mean, there are so many people with it, it's really not a big deal. I'll meet a beautiful woman, and that'll be something we have in common, is what I was telling myself).
The antibiotics had been gone for over 2 weeks, and one day in the shower, I saw what I believed to be an outbreak. I was devastated. But, continued to pray that I'd be fine, and life would be normal again. To just be happy and understand God's will.
So my prayers went on like that for a while. I also started adding "please send me signs that everything will be okay." It was around then that I had found my favorite passage in the Bible. Psalm 91.
Psalm 91 basically states that if you are a true believer, God will take care of you. You will be safe from the "deadly pestilence." Thousands will fall by your side, but it'll not come near you. You'll ride on the lion, and trample the serpent. God will cover you with his feathers, and you will be safe under his wings. He will set you on high because you know his name.
It's such a great passage, and made me feel safe. No matter what the outcome of my recent revelation.
One night, after I had prayed for a sign, I was driving and passed a church. The marquee said "Trust in God, and He will protect you for the storm." Not a direct quote from psalm 91, but relevant and it made me smile. As soon as I turned my head back to the road, there was a car in front of me (maybe it was there before, maybe it wasn't, I still don't know.) I read the license plate and started screaming! It read: 91PSALM
A few days later, I prayed that I wound see "91" again. That may be a silly prayer, as I'm sure you can look around you today and find a 91 somewhere before sundown, but I prayed anyway. All day at work, "please God, show me another 91."
I got home after a long day, and turned on the TV. I had forgotten about my prayer. I logged on the these forums and read a thread about prayer. There was a debate about if God will really grant you anything you want if you believe. Some said yes, some said no. Either way, it made me remember what I had been praying all day, so I looked at the ceiling and said "oh yeah! God! Please show me another 91!" As I looked back at the TV, there was a show on, and a man appeared on screen. He was a mover, and carrying a box into a house. As he passed the camera, there was a 91 on the back of his company shirt. I was beside myself.
My mom came to visit a couple weeks later for the weekend. I told her all about what's been happening. She said I should listen to the song "On Eagles Wings" as it somewhat relates to psalm 91. I had never heard it before and told her I would. I wanted her to come to church with me on Sunday, but she had to drive back home. So I went by myself. I realized while sitting there, waiting for church to start that I had forgotten to listen to that song.
I opened the hymn pamphlet, and noticed what the first hymn of the day was. "On Eagles Wings." I had been attending that church for over a year and that was the first time we had ever sang that song, and the first time I had ever heard it.
It had been almost 7 months since my positive herpes test, and it was time for me to retest. I had also continued to pray to see more 91s, but it had been a while since a predominant one came into play, (I didn't count $3.91 for gasoline, or 49.19 at the grocery store) so I figured God felt he had already done enough. After all, he's not a vending machine, and I should have been satisfied with all the signs he had already given me. But I kept praying for them anyway.
I got tested and had to wait 2 weeks for the results, but at that point I felt ok. I knew that no matter what, I would be fine, and while my ego may take a little hit, having herpes is really no big deal. I realized how it wouldn't affect my life, how small of a factor it truly is, and the major lessons I had learned, and needed to learn because of it. I wanted to be in a relationship and stop all that sleeping around. I truly did. Mostly though, I wanted a relationship with Christ. So I knew it would all be worth it.
2 weeks passed and I went back in to see the doctor. He gave me my results. I was negative of all STDs. I couldn't believe it. He couldn't either. He said I must have fought it off, and the antibiotics must have worked. Possible. I suppose, but I had a believed differently. Either way, I was clean.
I had been tested again recently, because I feared that after all that, it was possible to get a "false negative." But, again. Clean as a whistle.
I know it's silly to think that God cured me of a disease millions of people have and don't get cured from, but I feel this was about more than just curing me of a disease. It was about my walk with Christ and my revelation that I was indeed a sinner. How much I know him now because of all of this, the atheist girl, and the signs from heaven. How much I love him and how much I know that he loves me. I wouldn't have it any other way.
And all that reading I did, (and still do, daily) I realized just how much atheists are kidding themselves. They may have many reasons to not believe in God, mainly emotional reasons, but none of them are because of science. Science is good. Science leads to God. That's my opinion, anyway.
Oh, and by the way, the number you want to see on your herpes test, the number that means you're clean, is "<.91"
My Testimony -
I have always believed in God. I've never questioned that. Perhaps because I was raised in a Christian household, or perhaps because the feeling of God being with me was always in my heart. Whatever the case, I've been a believer my whole life.
I was also a sinner. I never gave any thought to Jesus, or the Bible. I believed in my creator, but didn't care about much else. I loved girls and they loved me. I figured I'd settle down one day, but in the meantime, I wanted to have fun. I just loved girls. As many as possible. It was only until an atheist girl I was seeing challenged me about why I believed in God. All I had at that point was a miracle I had experienced at age 7.
But as far as believing Christianity was true...I had no idea. "Because my mom says it is" wouldn't suffice as a sound, logical answer. The girl claimed to be an atheist because of science, and was very uppity about it.
So I decided at that point, I needed to bite the bullet and learn. Learn about the science she believes disproves God, while also reading the Bible, books by apologists, books by atheists, etc. My theological library grew and grew, very fast, as I was very hungry to know more and more.
It was at that point that my sinful nature caught up with me, and I tested positive for genital herpes. Now, while this is no life or death disease, it was still upsetting, as I have always taken pride in my health.
The doctor gave me some antibiotics, but basically told me it's not likely that they'd help.
I started praying to God for him to take away my disease, and in the meantime, of course, I quit sleeping around. I made myself sick thinking about how disrespectful to God I had been. One night, I broke down, fell to my knees and cried out to God for forgiveness, desiring to walk with Him an give up my sinful past.
I continued reading the Bible (as well as Dawkins, Hitchens, and Russell), and started learning more about this God that I had thought I'd known my whole life. It turns out that while he was an acquaintance of mine, I never really knew him. But reading the Bible changed that. Now, instead of praying for him to take away my disease, I prayed every night that no matter what, I'd be happy. I prayed for Him to just help me through it, and realize how trivial it actually was (I mean, there are so many people with it, it's really not a big deal. I'll meet a beautiful woman, and that'll be something we have in common, is what I was telling myself).
The antibiotics had been gone for over 2 weeks, and one day in the shower, I saw what I believed to be an outbreak. I was devastated. But, continued to pray that I'd be fine, and life would be normal again. To just be happy and understand God's will.
So my prayers went on like that for a while. I also started adding "please send me signs that everything will be okay." It was around then that I had found my favorite passage in the Bible. Psalm 91.
Psalm 91 basically states that if you are a true believer, God will take care of you. You will be safe from the "deadly pestilence." Thousands will fall by your side, but it'll not come near you. You'll ride on the lion, and trample the serpent. God will cover you with his feathers, and you will be safe under his wings. He will set you on high because you know his name.
It's such a great passage, and made me feel safe. No matter what the outcome of my recent revelation.
One night, after I had prayed for a sign, I was driving and passed a church. The marquee said "Trust in God, and He will protect you for the storm." Not a direct quote from psalm 91, but relevant and it made me smile. As soon as I turned my head back to the road, there was a car in front of me (maybe it was there before, maybe it wasn't, I still don't know.) I read the license plate and started screaming! It read: 91PSALM
A few days later, I prayed that I wound see "91" again. That may be a silly prayer, as I'm sure you can look around you today and find a 91 somewhere before sundown, but I prayed anyway. All day at work, "please God, show me another 91."
I got home after a long day, and turned on the TV. I had forgotten about my prayer. I logged on the these forums and read a thread about prayer. There was a debate about if God will really grant you anything you want if you believe. Some said yes, some said no. Either way, it made me remember what I had been praying all day, so I looked at the ceiling and said "oh yeah! God! Please show me another 91!" As I looked back at the TV, there was a show on, and a man appeared on screen. He was a mover, and carrying a box into a house. As he passed the camera, there was a 91 on the back of his company shirt. I was beside myself.
My mom came to visit a couple weeks later for the weekend. I told her all about what's been happening. She said I should listen to the song "On Eagles Wings" as it somewhat relates to psalm 91. I had never heard it before and told her I would. I wanted her to come to church with me on Sunday, but she had to drive back home. So I went by myself. I realized while sitting there, waiting for church to start that I had forgotten to listen to that song.
I opened the hymn pamphlet, and noticed what the first hymn of the day was. "On Eagles Wings." I had been attending that church for over a year and that was the first time we had ever sang that song, and the first time I had ever heard it.
It had been almost 7 months since my positive herpes test, and it was time for me to retest. I had also continued to pray to see more 91s, but it had been a while since a predominant one came into play, (I didn't count $3.91 for gasoline, or 49.19 at the grocery store) so I figured God felt he had already done enough. After all, he's not a vending machine, and I should have been satisfied with all the signs he had already given me. But I kept praying for them anyway.
I got tested and had to wait 2 weeks for the results, but at that point I felt ok. I knew that no matter what, I would be fine, and while my ego may take a little hit, having herpes is really no big deal. I realized how it wouldn't affect my life, how small of a factor it truly is, and the major lessons I had learned, and needed to learn because of it. I wanted to be in a relationship and stop all that sleeping around. I truly did. Mostly though, I wanted a relationship with Christ. So I knew it would all be worth it.
2 weeks passed and I went back in to see the doctor. He gave me my results. I was negative of all STDs. I couldn't believe it. He couldn't either. He said I must have fought it off, and the antibiotics must have worked. Possible. I suppose, but I had a believed differently. Either way, I was clean.
I had been tested again recently, because I feared that after all that, it was possible to get a "false negative." But, again. Clean as a whistle.
I know it's silly to think that God cured me of a disease millions of people have and don't get cured from, but I feel this was about more than just curing me of a disease. It was about my walk with Christ and my revelation that I was indeed a sinner. How much I know him now because of all of this, the atheist girl, and the signs from heaven. How much I love him and how much I know that he loves me. I wouldn't have it any other way.
And all that reading I did, (and still do, daily) I realized just how much atheists are kidding themselves. They may have many reasons to not believe in God, mainly emotional reasons, but none of them are because of science. Science is good. Science leads to God. That's my opinion, anyway.
Oh, and by the way, the number you want to see on your herpes test, the number that means you're clean, is "<.91"
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