The day is not coming, it has come, when gay people need to don sackcloth and ashes, not out of repentance but out of mourning. I was raised nothing and chose Catholicism before I hit puberty because I wanted the traditional and liturgical worship of a loving God. Then puberty hit and I realized 'what I was.' Loathsome, self-hating and self-injuring...this is what I was for years, I prayed and begged to be changed and wanted more than anything to be "normal." I eventually gave up and just started opening veins...
Then recently I attended an ECUSA church and my heart was the lightest it ever has been. This church loved me it didn't hate me. All that hate the sin and not the sinner stuff wasn't true...my old christian acquantinces really did hate ME when they perceived I was gay not my sin, they hated me. But this church was different, I felt so welcome and happy that I stopped self-injuring, prayed more and became a better son to my parents. I did more charitable work and wanted so badly to be the best Christian I could, this is the effect it had on me and boy was I ecstatic.
Now as the general convention is in deliberation I can't stop crying. The Windsor Report and all the talk of the ECUSA repenting for its sins ends all hope I ever had of finding a home in the Catholic church (I don't mean it in the sense of Rome I mean it in the broad sense). The ECUSA is on a path of regression which I know elates the orthodox Anglicans and I am happy for them, they can worship with a sounder heart now and the Anglican Communion can stay unified...God bless them.
I have nothing to do now but pray I guess, I can't go to a MCC or UCC church because I am a Catholic and need the universal church...I'm like a branch cut off, withering away. All this talk of scholasticism and theological study really rips the problem away from the human realm. The human suffering that many gay christians I know especially roman/anglican/orthodox ones is so intense now that I wonder if gay catholics have a future at all except one drenched in self-loathing and self-hatred which leads many to promiscuity and self-injury.
This rant means nothing I know and it changes nothing as well. The testimony of a gay catholic is worhtless in the realm of the magesterium. We are the reprobate so are tongues couldn't possibly laud God in truth, only in darkness. Orthodox followers will simply counsel me to work on my sin and accepting a path of celibacy as the scripture 'requires.' So please orthodox I am not asking for a refutation so just ignore this thread, for all other I just am asking for prayer as I discern wether to join the Anglican church or not. I was going to schedule a meeting with the local rector after services sunday but I am going to wait and see the outcome of convention.
Pax Vobiscum....because it certaintly isn't with me.
Then recently I attended an ECUSA church and my heart was the lightest it ever has been. This church loved me it didn't hate me. All that hate the sin and not the sinner stuff wasn't true...my old christian acquantinces really did hate ME when they perceived I was gay not my sin, they hated me. But this church was different, I felt so welcome and happy that I stopped self-injuring, prayed more and became a better son to my parents. I did more charitable work and wanted so badly to be the best Christian I could, this is the effect it had on me and boy was I ecstatic.
Now as the general convention is in deliberation I can't stop crying. The Windsor Report and all the talk of the ECUSA repenting for its sins ends all hope I ever had of finding a home in the Catholic church (I don't mean it in the sense of Rome I mean it in the broad sense). The ECUSA is on a path of regression which I know elates the orthodox Anglicans and I am happy for them, they can worship with a sounder heart now and the Anglican Communion can stay unified...God bless them.
I have nothing to do now but pray I guess, I can't go to a MCC or UCC church because I am a Catholic and need the universal church...I'm like a branch cut off, withering away. All this talk of scholasticism and theological study really rips the problem away from the human realm. The human suffering that many gay christians I know especially roman/anglican/orthodox ones is so intense now that I wonder if gay catholics have a future at all except one drenched in self-loathing and self-hatred which leads many to promiscuity and self-injury.
This rant means nothing I know and it changes nothing as well. The testimony of a gay catholic is worhtless in the realm of the magesterium. We are the reprobate so are tongues couldn't possibly laud God in truth, only in darkness. Orthodox followers will simply counsel me to work on my sin and accepting a path of celibacy as the scripture 'requires.' So please orthodox I am not asking for a refutation so just ignore this thread, for all other I just am asking for prayer as I discern wether to join the Anglican church or not. I was going to schedule a meeting with the local rector after services sunday but I am going to wait and see the outcome of convention.
Pax Vobiscum....because it certaintly isn't with me.
